


For Shame

by JJJotun



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Pre-Predacons Rising, Robogore, Unreliable Narrator, a bit OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 48,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJJotun/pseuds/JJJotun
Summary: One party's victory would lead to another's seeming tragedy.That's what Starscream thinks, at least. But reality can often be incomprehensible.
Relationships: Interpretive Relationships, Knock Out/Starscream, Predaking/Starscream, Shockwave/Starscream
Comments: 117
Kudos: 272





	1. The End of the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched predacon's rising on a late night insomnia goof, and i gotta say it made me really sad  
> I thought Megatron's story was great, but Starscream's final encounter with the predacons made me wish there had been a better way.
> 
> This story will be pretty self indulgent but I'll try and put in a cohesive plot, thank you for the read anyhow :)  
> There will be plenty of gore and feels but I promise no unnecessary deaths and things related to that, Starscream is the main character but I want to write as fairly for every character as possible.  
> As well as the fact that this story will make the Decepticons feel less cruel, while not realistic to how they would actually act I find it much more pleasant to write (and read) when all of the Decepticons have that even footing

It was a crude escape, damned in that small pod only to burst at the seams as it plummeted to the planet below. Overcrowded and terrified, it was anything but ideal.

But, it's not as if there was anywhere else to go.

Megatron had perished, Starscream had seen it with his own two optics and Shockwave with his one. He did not expect to react the way he did, shouting miserably as the corpse of the wretched warlord fell to the Earth in a fiery blaze.

Never in his life had he experienced an emotion that broke him in that very moment. Happiness? Anguish? Strife? He couldn't tell, only being able to cry.

Running away like a coward, Starscream could hardly process the moment when the blade pierced Megatron's spark. If Shockwave grieved all the same, he did not show it, silently rumbling as they crammed together in that tiny space.

Starscream fought against the discomfort for a while, giving up after a dreaded tiredness washed over him like rust. He stilled, his head was pushed up against Shockwave's black glossed chassis. He wasn't even aware enough to complain.

The escape pod descended on the awakening landscape, the whining of metal screeched until a slow stop was had, the dust began to clear.

It was a moment before they regained their wits. The slide opened from the pod, and Starscream climbed out with a foreign desperation. He landed haphazardly on to the dirty ground with a rustling of metal parts, Shockwave followed suit with a loud but steady thud.

Starscream remain on all fours, staring at the ground with a blank yet wide expression. The comprehension had yet to strike him, only to be left numb from the unfortunate events that befell.

He'd hardly noticed that Shockwave was already taking apart the pod for its resources, only paying attention to how horribly rough his venting was. His spark was oddly steady though, but heavy with an incomprehensible emotion that he could not understand.

That was what plagued him, he did not understand.

How could the mighty tyrant, the ambitious warmonger that for generations, ruled and tormented his army with an iron fist, was slain by a mere scout?

It was so pathetic that Starscream unintentionally laughed out loud, even causing Shockwave to flinch. It was so stupid, if that yellow sparkling could kill his master, how weak did he himself have to be to fail at all of his previous assassination attempts?

The laugh was followed by a sickening gargle sound, Starscream had no idea it was coming from him until he began to wretch miserably, more or so like a cybonic stricken cough.

"Starscream."

The voice hardly woke him from his trance, but he paid attention regardless. It was better than listening to his mind warbling.

"It is best we get going to one of my laboratories. We will be safe there."

Starscream rubbed his faceplates indecisively, finally moving his body only to realize it had been shivering. With a weak push, he manages to stand again, almost toppling over quite a few.

"You're right, Shockwave. Let's get going."

The Energon's glow had never been more beautiful.

  
  


-

  
  


It was an underleveled area in which Shockwave placed one of his old offsite laboratories, unsurprising considering that it was supposed to be 'secret'.

It was much more clean than the surface of the planet, hardly any dust. Though there were a few misplaced tools and metal mishaps, scraplets most likely.

If scraplets had chowed down on some of the lab, they weren't there anymore, as it was so unusually quiet. The venting of the two bots inside was all that could be heard in the abandoned facility.

Starscream slumped against a storage container as Shockwave tended to his wounds with a welder. The flickering of the tool's fire illuminated his head occasionally.

Now was the time for him to think about what happened. Even with the quiet and the temporary peace, his mind seemed to block anything relating to Megatron, like a virus deterrent.

And rightfully so. Starscream didn't  _ want _ to think about what happened, he never wanted to. Yet, it felt wrong to ignore the dread that wanted to coalesce inside his spark.

His wings drooped with solace, there wasn't anything worse than the horrid distilled feeling he was getting.

The welder stopped its zapping, and Shockwave seemed finished for now. Starscream didn't look, only listening for cues, for something,  _ anything _ to think about. 

Right before taking his own offer for a much needed recharge, Shockwave strutted towards Starscream, not batting an optic at the huge purple behemoth before him.

"You are wounded."

That was it? The very loose ended sentence made Starscream rise from his dysphoria to give a confused look, and Shockwave, for the emotionless mech he was, appeared satisfied.

"Let me aid you."

Getting his scratches patched up sounded nice, though the offer was odd coming from Shockwave, he was only ever kind to..

Shockwave reached his one servo out to help Starscream up, and shakily, the seeker complied. After ascending from his mental dormancy, Shockwave gestured for him to sit on the crate he occupied next to.

The next few minutes were a blur of Shockwave's steady handiwork with the welder. It only stung a little, but the distraction was necessary. He swatted the servo away when he motioned to help with the wings, Starscream couldn't handle that at the moment.

Eventually, the fire cooled, and Shockwave brushed the charred metal gently with an antique cloth, Starscream flushed a little.

It was all too much, too much that it felt too little, all Starscream could do was sit there and stare into the void. Even with the attention from the Cyclops, he didn't feel right, not a  _ feeling _ that he had ever known about before. 

Was this grief? It couldn't have been, he'd grieved of many in the past but this was just so much worse. Only because he should be grieving or be excited at Megatron's death, yet, he feels nothing.

"You are venting above normal, are you unwell?" Asked the estranged scientist, bringing Starscream back once more.

He was at a loss for words, gaping down at the lanky servos he carried. His venting hitched, only making Shockwave more curious.

"I.." It sounded worse than he thought it would.

"It.. I can't believe all of that happened, so quickly.."

Shockwave hummed at the answer, still standing in his place behind the seeker. His wings dipped dreadfully.

"Indeed. Megatron was an exceptional warrior, to think his spark was extinguished so easily defies most logic."

Silence again. Starscream doesn't know how to respond when the scientist put his thoughts into words.

"Starscream."

...

"Now with Megatron perished, and Soundwave's location unknown, that makes you the leader of the Decepticons."

Starscream's optics widened in realization. He'd been so overwrought by their leader's demise that he hadn't considered that a new one should take its place.

Even so, he should've been gleeful at the prospect of leading the Decepticons. It's what he had always wanted, dreamt for, and now the dream has become a reality. He should be ecstatic, overjoyed!

"...then why doesn't it feel that way." Starscream mumbled aimlessly.

Shockwave stared on through the akratic ramblings of the seeker, seeming to understand without the needed context.

That dreaded feeling of confusion and hiraeth filled the silence of the dead laboratory. The wrought of grief from the little one’s field and Shockwave understood. No words needed to be. It had been a shameful evening for the Decepticon cause. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've come back and read this quite a few times, I apologize if the writing isn't that great especially for the first few chapters, it gets a little better and I'm striving to improve my skills for future chapters


	2. Solace

The night was completely uneventful, besides the occasional rumbling of Cybertron's core as it reanimated.

Starscream found it painfully easy to recharge, somehow the idea beforehand of attempting to sleep was much more difficult. Now, after awakening, it seemed so stupid to think on it too much.

He didn't know if Shockwave got any sleep, as the bot was bugging around with an assortment of mechanical parts in his work area.

The laboratory did not have any berths in it, besides a few stasis incubators, which no longer worked. So, after a distasteful rest on the smooth floor of the cyclops' nest, Starscream rose to see another day.

Starscream too decided to poke around the lab for anything that may be of use, it was better than sulking after all.

The area was much smaller than any other lab Starscream had known the controversial scientist to have, however it had been implied many times from his conversations with the warlord that Shockwave had an unspeakable amount of unknown workplaces.

There was a common room, the place Shockwave was currently working and the place the seeker recharged. There were two other side rooms from the looks of things, but who knows what kind of secrets are held in this miniature labyrinth.

One of the rooms contained many Cybertronian grade monitors, as well as the incubators previously mentioned. The pods were inactive, however upon further investigation, some of the computers still function, on very low power be it.

The other side-off appeared to be storage, crates stacked neatly to the corners up to ceiling height. Starscream pulled one of the crates free with some effort, and cranked the metal casing off with a comical thunk.

Starscream had a minor spark flux in shock. The crate was filled with refined Energon, there was even some pink highgrade, an extreme delicacy among all Cybertronians. He didn't take Shockwave for the type to be storing high grade, but assumed it was for a different use besides intoxication.

Apparently that was a lucky crate, for only two other crates shared the same contents as the first. The others were either emptied dry or full of heavy equipment that Starscream didn't dare decipher.

Panting a bit at the heaviness of the metal containers, Starscream decided to move on from the storage area. The Energon would last the two of them for a long while, especially if the highgrade was refined down into more consumable cubes. 

But after those cubes were drained, Starscream didn't know what would happen.

They would have to go to the surface eventually, right? A part of him wanted to go and see the dead Cybertron once more, to fly like same old. 

It was also the most terrifying thought he'd had in a while. After being away for so long, the sheer idea of looking into the planet's horizon sparked a sad nostalgia.

Besides the petty squabbling of his spark, it was unsafe to go up anyhow. The Autobots would be at an all time activity now that they, won.

Cybertron was theirs, he and Shockwave were fugitives, criminals, it was only a matter of time until they were caught and executed for their crimes.

Starscream pressed his face into his hands solemnly, thinking heavily about nonsense babbling. The Autobots killed Megatron, they would kill him too, without hesitation.

A large clank of parts made Starscream jump a little, seeing that Shockwave was still tinkering with what appeared to be a broken stasis infuser. He must've been trying to repair the incubators.

It was just that and the warbling of vents that occupied the audials of the two mechs. Only someone as grounded and stoic as Shockwave could betray that science.

"Starscream." 

He'd gotten accustomed to others calling his name, but the estranged scientist's voice always found a way to send chills down his back strut.

"With the Decepticon cause in limbo, and us being stranded in Autobot territory, what should our next actions entail?"

Starscream didn't expect something so straight forward, however he learned to expect the unexpected with Shockwave.

In truth, Starscream didn't have an answer. 

"I, I don't know Shockwave." The humming of Shockwave's vents was so very audible.

"We should come to a conclusion soon. We cannot hide from the Autobots forever."

Starscream mumbled an 'I know' under his breath, not really out of malicious intent. He'd never think to be as honest as he had been this day and before. 

It was a new kind of terror for the silvertongue.

  
  


-

  
  


It was obvious Shockwave was still waiting for an answer, even after a couple cycles of cleaning, repairing, tasks that shouldn't carry the weight that they did in the moment.

Starscream wanted to say something,  _ anything _ . Even a twisted lie coming from his mouth would be enough to suffice, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. Not until he could truly think.

In a way, it was a bit relieving that after all these years, now Starscream could shut himself up on command. But at the same time, he begged himself to spout Primus knows what into the air just for the sake of nothing.

Shockwave didn't seem deterred by it, just working silently through the cold evenings, diligent in his project.

Starscream felt a bit foolish for sitting around and doing nothing for days end.  _ He  _ was the new leader of the Decepticons! Or what was left of them.

Biting his glossa, the seeker kicked his leg impatiently against the metal floor, almost unaware of what he'd been doing.

The gears clicked in his head for once.

"I want to go to the surface."

The gears were a bit rough for wear.

"...that would be ill-advised."

Shockwave was completely right, the idea was stupid, but Starscream needed to do something besides sulk. He needed to be better than life.

"Just for a quick flight, to scout for resources. I will make sure I am not followed."

Shockwave sighed heavily. Some part of Starscream wished the scientist argued a bit more.

"Alright. Do not be gone too long. In the case you are followed, do not under any circumstance attempt to come back."

Starscream was ecstatic at the approval, despite the fact that he didn't need any.

  
  


-

  
  


The surface of the planet was horrific, like a rust plague swept through overnight.

Still, something about it was charming, even if it was a reminder of the mistakes the war led to.

The bright yellow star shone brightly like a morning on Earth. If there was one thing he missed about Earth was its beautiful sky. Everything else though? Best left forgotten.

He strutted across the dusty ground, wings picking up barely any wind for miles on. It was perfect flight weather.

So, with a stretching of plates, Starscream soared off into the horizon. His rotors flared with the intensity of the first flight, flying straight up into the polluted clouds.

He flew a klik's notice before transforming back into bipedal mode, and allowed himself to fall.

Falling was every seeker's worst fear, even for Starscream himself. But, with how scary it could be, there was something about the idea of freefalling that calmed his systems.

Doing midair flips while his optics closed, he felt the air pressure soar against him like dropping into an ocean of thick liquid.

There was only one thing Starscream was more scared of than falling. That was  _ dying. _

His spark raced with an adrenalin filled energy as he transformed once more before hitting the ground. A thrill he had long forgotten, before flying once more.

The Energon across Cybertron dimmed as the sun's rays made the land live, and Starscream began to cry.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read :) comments kudos make my day, and some insight for the future of this fic would be awesome!


	3. Fright

He returned back down in the depths of the hidden shop without a fuss, certainly feeling much better after a good flying session.

Shockwave was, shockingly, still working on the stasis infuser. He seemed to be struggling with it, as his field radiated with an underlying irritation.

Starscream casually strutted towards the bench, a collection of parts that only a keen eye could organize properly.

His gaze bore across the worktable, standing next to Shockwave with a tired interest in the progress he was making. 

The scientist was most unamused by it, twisting his head downward in a subtle agitation. Starscream raised a brow, both cautious and curious.

"Leave me to my work, Starscream."

"Oh, well, I was just wondering if you needed any assistance. You've been fixing that for quite a while." 

Shockwave twitched, probably not a good idea to provoke him any further.

"I do not need assistance." Starscream rolled his optics, of course he didn't.

"Fine then, I'll leave you to your fruitless endeavours, probably not going to help us anyways." Shockwave suddenly stood up, Some metal parts across the table clattered at the sheer force of Shockwave's weight, him and his stupid mouth!

The purple giant began walking closer to the seeker, the thumping of his pedes got louder as he drew near, and the instant regret already began to pour out.

"Just because you are now my leader does not mean I will be softer on you. We have both suffered our losses and I expected that maybe you had changed for the better." He leaned in further.

"Do not prove me wrong,  _ Lord Starscream _ ."

Being called lord anything would've usually made Starscream happy as a sparkling, but the words were derogatory, Shockwave had meant that.

He bowed his head down shamefully, the red light of the single optic illuminated his face gently. He didn't have the energy to squabble.

Shockwave seemed contempt with that reaction, and turned back to his work, leaving the seeker with tilted wings and an expressionless face.

That was how things would be for now on, he supposed.

  
  


-

  
  


He began to go to the surface more often. Being pent up in that laboratory was not the ideal situation, no matter how dangerous it was on top.

He had yet to see any Autobots either, Starscream didn't know if that was a good sign or not.

Flying off into the sky in order to find parts for Shockwave to use, that was not how Starscream imagined his life on Cybertron would consist of. 

Though Shockwave  _ is  _ the one who requests those item retrievals. As much as he would love to be the one to give the orders, there wasn't much else for him to do.

Pit, even Megatron fought alongside his army in battle, what kind of Decepticon would he be if he just lounged around all day?

And, because he didn't want to get on Shockwave's bad side. Most of all.

Starscream loved flying, he loved the air against his body as he soared at hyper speeds, the spark-pounding acceleration. He enjoyed it enough to put up with the menial tasks of fetching for the odd scientist.

Both spotting for the loot and maneuvering around broken metal pillars, it was quite the flight as the night sky glistened even through the pollution.

The perfect escape from his prison of a mind was to just not think about the when, and just the entrancing Cybertronian landscape that beckoned like a beacon. An oddly sentimental value for someone like himself.

He let out a long sigh, and just  _ breathed _ .

It's a shame he did not see the yellow eyes following him.

  
  


-

  
  


Starscream skid to a halt in his bipedal form, bellows of dust soon following suit. 

This area was much more expansive and abandoned. Starscream could hardly recognise it as Cybertron. The planet he knew was knee to knee cities and roads for miles on end, but this was like a desert!

Even worse were the oldened corpses scattered across the ground, judging from the wounds and placement, a battle was wrought here. Leading these bots to their untimely demise.

He shuddered, the idea of people dying never really phased him, yet he could help but cringe at the bodies that were rusting away with the sand pelting their hides.

He pulled up a scanner, Shockwave needed something immensely specific. Apparently there was a weapon in this wasteland that contained a one of a kind power core, probably used in the said battle.

Starscream doubted that it even functioned, but humoured the idea that it might still be active.

He walked aimlessly through the dead battlefield, watching the pulses from the scanner to see if it could give an exact location.

A distant noise could be heard, like a screeching of metal. Starscream frowned, and tried to find the source.

The screeching soon turned into a powerful roar, and the seeker knew exactly what it was.

He spotted the Predacon soaring too close for comfort, those powerful wings swallowing air whole. In a fit of fear, he transformed again to escape.

It was too late though, as Predaking grabbed his rotors with a crunch, flinging Starscream around like a ragdoll until releasing him to the dirty ground.

He transformed choppily as he landed harshly on land, his wings and body alike getting intense scratches.

The Predacon pounced closer and closer, and Starscream attempted to crawl away miserably.

On his back, the giant Predacon stomped on the seeker's legs with a powerful clawed servo, pinning him to the messy ground.

Fearful optics looked up to the terrifying face of Predaking, those yellow gleaming eyes stabbed needles into his protoform.

Starscream let out a shuttering whimper and closed his optics, his chest rising rapidly with the extensive venting.

Predaking pressed his muzzle against Starscream's spasming chest, a sign of dominance and both curiosity. He looked up once more, utterly terrified and a bit confused.

The Predacon continued to rest like that, occasionally prodding downward with his head just to draw a pained gasp from the little jet.

Starscream's spark pounded wildly, Predaking could probably feel it under his plating. His vents hitched, awaiting for some kind of reaction, anything. But Predaking just, stared.

Then, Predaking transformed suddenly, into his proud bipedal mode, a pede stepped on to Starscream's chassis once more.

He was at a loss for words, that dreaded Predacon watched and waited. Predaking raised a brow.

Starscream attempted to move only to be lifted into the air by his collar.

"What are you doing here, in my terrain?"

He sputtered a bit, trying to regain his silvertongue.

"Y-your terrain? This is Cybertron you dimwitted beast, you can't just claim a planet-!" Predaking suddenly bright Starscream closer to his head, too close, he shuddered in an unyielding fear.

"Enough, you traitorous coward. You should feel lucky that I am in a good mood today, I just might spare your life."

Starscream shivered and grasped Predaking's hand, to no avail, he seemed to only tighten his grip around his collar.

Eventually, Starscream sighed, and shamefully went limp in submission. Predaking purred, and dropped him back to the ground, where the seeker coughed shallowly.

"I would question you further, but I have a feeling you will be back. Flying never gets boring, does it."

Predaking had been watching Starscream for a while, he understood now. Starscream stared at his servos as they stamped the ground, getting fistfuls of dust, while those persistent yellow optics eyeballed him carefully.

After seeing that Starscream wasn't moving willingly, Predaking growled, and transformed back into his beast form, flying away with a strong roar.

That was, an experience. Starscream didn't think Predaking would actively come after him, but apparently he'd been thinking too optimistically.

He'd traverse less often on the surface afterwards.


	4. Plato

Shockwave undoubtedly was angered that Starscream did not return with what he had requested, but with a short and fearful explanation of what happened was enough to calm the abrasive scientist.

Predaking did not pose an immediate threat, especially since he spared the small seeker’s life even when he had the upper hand. Shockwave had even considered bringing the Predacon back to the lab, to which Starscream shuddered in disapproval. 

If anything, the Autobots still remain a bigger discomfort for their welfare. 

He’d shrugged it off, Shockwave did not. That was fine though, no matter how much he’d been around the fearsome Predacon, he would never not be scared of it. He wondered if Shockwave was terrified of his own creation.

The proof was in his plating, scratches and ugly dents scattered his entire frame like a steel wool bath.

Starscream shivered as he sat down on his favourite storage container, slouching in contempt as he held himself by the lanky arms of his own, running his digits to feel for the sensitive scratching.

His subspace stuttered weirdly as Shockwave walked towards him again, much less threatening then it had in previous encounters, still a little numb from Predaking toying with him.

"You are injured."

Well, that was unsubtle, and very familiar.

"Indeed, but my internal healing will suffice."

Shockwave tilted his head, seemingly surprised at Starscream's lack of complaint. He would've requested a repair kit by now, anything to stop the horrid itchiness of a dented servo. It felt too arvacious, even for him.

Though, Shockwave was visibly annoyed at the unintentional whining and whimpers coming from the seeker. Not words, but somehow more trying.

With an almost inaudible huff, the prodigious tank walked over to his work table, and grabbed, something. Starscream was too busy wallowing in his own discomfort to look over and ponder.

He came back of course, standing both beside and behind the jet. Now, Starscream took the time to examine, optics widening in surprise. He was holding a buffer in his single hand.

"Suffice?"

Starscream silently chortled at that, Shockwave would do anything to make him shut up, it was almost sweet.

"Whatever." Anyone would know that it was the seeker's way of giving permission.

Shockwave hummed, and got to work. He placed his cannon on the side of Starscream's waist to hold him still. It was a little unnerving to have such a powerful weapon so close to his frame, then again Shockwave in general was one of the most intense mechs a person could meet.

The buffer gently whirred as it was activated, and the effects were immediate. Starscream gasped as it was pressed down to the center of his spine.

He'd forgotten the last time he'd got a proper buff and waxing, Knock Out was the habitué concerning the latest decor and cleaning strategies, not he.

He gaped as the buffer was moved across his spine and around the wing joints. It was where most of the damage was, but that didn't stop it from being oversensitive.

Shockwave seemed aware of the little reactions coming from his commander, yet remain dormant. Not encouraging or distancing, just acknowledging. 

It was rather refreshing to have someone be so emotionless, the contrast between the two of them was laughable.

Shockwave was unforgiving in that he moved to the wings swiftly, making Starscream clench his derma to stop himself from groaning.

The behemoth didn't intend for it to be so sensual, somehow that fact gave Starscream a bit of humour.

Closing his optics, he simply absorbed the feeling of the buffer swiping away the hideous dents and blemishes.

It was a little too intimate, yes, but the attention was rather nice. Even from someone as deadpanned as Shockwave.

The Cyclops only brushed up on the joints and parts that would otherwise be too difficult for someone alone to pinpoint. Now and ever Shockwave relied solely on efficiency.

Before he knew it, it was over. Starscream opened his optics back to the dimly lit laboratory as Shockwave moved the dust off his armour with that same cloth.

"You can continue if you desire, I will be with my work." 

Said Shockwave, as he placed the buffer next to the smaller mech. Starscream shook physically and mentally to adjust himself back into reality.

He didn't really feel like buffing out the dents on his rotors and legs, despite that being that Predacon's favourite chew toy.

There wasn't much else to do though, so he proceeded.

  
  


-

  
  


Their Energon was depleting, slow and steady. Not of any concern at the moment, but at the rate it was being drained it wouldn't be long before they were running on fumes.

Despite Shockwave being the bigger bot, Starscream required more fuel. Thanks to his flights and the fact that flying frames need much higher quality Energon to function with ease.

Shockwave was also very careful with his Energon, being able to cut circulation when it isn't needed. Something Starscream did not, and never wanted to learn how to do.

And since he  _ was  _ the one going up to the surface and depleting their reserves, it was only just that he go searching. Again.

Another day, another flight. Testing the boundaries of both the planet and the speed limit, Starscream swooped through the expanse of bland metal nothings.

It was much more foggy today, the sun was blocked by a massive brown-grey cloud, making the planet even more gloomy than it had been.

Looking, scanning, that's all he could do.

Starscream huffed in exasperation, and boosted forth with high velocity.

He'd been moving so quickly, a jet stream had formed behind him. The seeker was a bit proud that he still had that fire in him.

The area he entered was much more industrial before it collapsed. His internal map told him that it was the outskirts of Kaon. Looking a little closer, some of the worn down structures did look familiar.

He hasn't spent that much time in Kaon before it fell, so it didn't hold much emotional weight on him. Though, he couldn't bear to see the wasteland of what remained of Vos.

He shuddered, and slowed down to maneuver properly along the rusty remnants of a living planet.

Some of the dust had been disturbed here, after seeing so much of it for the past week or so it wasn't hard to identify.

Something or someone had been here recently, best be on guard.

He transformed back to root mode, and landed gently on the hardened ground. Slowly and curiously he walked through the once thriving and chaotic civilization.

Kaon was always considered "the worst" out of all of the major cities of Cybertron, and Starscream had to agree. Upon visiting it for the first time he was absolutely appalled at it and it's civilian's nature.

You do miss even the worst of things once they are gone forever.

While reminiscing about the last time he'd been in this place, the cluttering of metal could be heard. Faint and distant, but it was there.

Starscream carefully strutted inwards where the sound was emanating. It really did seem far away, as the noise hardly picked up no matter how much further he went.

Then, he finally found the source. This area was much more clean then the rest, definitely activity.

Atop a large circular building were a few vehicons, struggling to repair as it seemed, the structure they were standing on.

Starscream watched with mild confusion, peering forth, only to look down a bit and frown.

The big green giant of an Autobot was down there, talking to some vehicons while carrying an unholy amount of construction equipment.

Were the Autobots really trying to repair, Kaon? Perhaps they would stamp a new city right on top of it, hiding the evidence of the horrific things that happened here. That was both genius and cruel.

Still, Starscream remain dumbfounded, watching from a distance while behind a metal slab.

He supposed it was for the best, he'd rather the Autobots main focus be construction than searching for any missing fugitives.

And he would like to see it finished. Not that Bulkhead was good at building or anything he was just, curious?

Said Autobot turned from his work and laid bright blue optics on the watching seeker.

Starscream flinched, and stow away, far from the newly formed worksite. 

He mumbled to himself as he flew away in rapid succession. It was probably best not mention anything to Shockwave.


	5. Onerous

He did not return with Energon as he had hoped, but with some valuable information to consume instead.

Inner Kaon was an Autobot red-zone for now own, with one Autobot sighted only means more will come.

As well as the fact that there was no surface layer Energon to stash apon. The Well had replenished Cybertron's life force, but the re-animating of something as valuable as Energon would take many long years.

Which meant the only way they could get more Energon was to steal it.

They  _ could _ possibly mine it off planet, however Starscream was the only flight frame among them, and chances are with the amount of energy needed to get to other systems simply wouldn't be worth the outcome.

Taking for now, was the only slightly reasonable option.

Shockwave had finished the stasis incubators, which meant the two of them could go long periods of time without any Energon, however that would mean no activity from themselves while they slept.

Starscream slumped thoughtfully on that crate, a servo cradling his chin as he contemplated what decisions could be made.

That Autobot doctor had perfected the Synthetic Energon formula as he recalled, stealing it before any other Decepticons could decipher the complex coding.

If they were to find and take that formula, the Energon problem would no longer be a threat.

"We could possibly negotiate for it." Said Shockwave, making Starscream realizing he was mumbling aloud.

He stuttered and cleared his windpipe, trying to ignore the embarrassment of an unknown ramble.

"I don't think the Autobots will be so willing to give something as prized as the Synth-N formula."

"Correct. Unless they have an incentive. "

Starscream raised his brow in curiosity.

"...and what would that entail?"

  
  


-

  
  


"Are you out of your fragging mind? What kind of idea is that?"

"One that will make the Autobots give up the formula."

"B-but, what if those Predacons are more powerful than Predaking?"

"That would be ideal."

"No, augh I-! No it wouldn't! What if they turn against us, we can't possibly fend for ourselves against those beasts!"

"Then don't give them a reason to turn against you."

Starscream huffed in exasperation and pinched the center of his faceplates. Predacons are powerful, otherworldly beings that could've easily swayed the sides of the war if given time.

But there was a reason that Megatron had shut the project down, and unfortunately, Shockwave was still salivating over the idea of creating more.

"Just, no! We are not going to remake the mess that you started, it's too dangerous. And especially with Predaking around, imagine if he had an army of Predacons on his side? What then?"

Shockwave leaned closer, the thing he did when he tried to prove a point. It always made Starscream shudder a little.

"Do you have any better ideas?"  _ Lord Starscream _ .

Starscream stuttered, a lie would be too obvious.

"...I do not.

-but, we just can't go through with that plan. I-

-as leader of the Decepticons, I order you to permanently disband project Predacon!"

It sounded less intimidating than it did in his head, causing Starscream to reel back at how stupid it felt coming out of his mouth.

And Shockwave stared back, that single red optic looking down with an unknown emotion, if there even was one to be had.

Only then had the most terrifying thing occurred.

Shockwave chuckled. It was quiet, and quite humourless, but it was there.

The deep alto of his voice mixing in with the estranged laughter was quite honestly one of the most bizarre things Starscream had ever witnessed.

"There is a reason Megatron makes for a good leader while you do not." 

Starscream frowned, he did not expect that.

"But, I will oblige. You do bring a fair point, and I do not trust myself to let you around a Predacon without it wanting to castrate you."

He turned away, thickly strutting to the monitor room of the laboratory, off to do who knows what.

Starscream was left staring into space, Shockwave knew how to make things hurt, it's why he was considered a mad genius.

Finally looking down to his worn out servos, he remain half-lidded in a strange mind limbo.

Eventually, he giggled a bit. Since when did Shockwave use a word like castrate?

Maybe he would grow on him after all.

  
  


-

  
  


He went a bit farther this time for his flight, marking out all of the areas that would be too unsafe to travel freely upon.

Eventually the whole planet would be too dangerous. But for now, this was his job.

The only Autobot sighting was the same one in inner-Kaon, he hasn't even found their old Ship the Nemesis yet, perhaps it was parked underground.

Starscream even went back to the warframe graveyard to retrieve that power core Shockwave previously wanted, the place Predaking attacked. There was no sign of that dreaded creatin, so the Predacon's hideout must be somewhere else.

Not that he wanted to find out where.

His maps indicated that he was nearing the sea of rust, an ugly liquefied place on Cybertron that probably wasn't changed that much through its destruction.

Starscream's hypothesis was correct, it looked all the same besides the beachside having a diseased texture, unlike the bright orange colour that usually occupied it.

He landed, and began scouting again

The sea had become too irradiated over time, swimming and searching would be suicidal unless you had the proper equipment for it. So, all he could do was wander the beach front.

The sea's sluggish waves were beating down on the ugly dust of a beach, it was a sign of activity in Cybertron's core, albeit a not very helpful one.

The ground was littered with charred metals and steel, dents caused by blown sand made the expanse of the beach feel much more damning.

Starscream sighed, his pedes were already getting mucked up by the polluted dust.

He instantly froze up when he heard that familiar screech come towards him.

Before he even had a chance to react properly, his wing had been bitten on by those massive jaws,

The flailing began as Predaking flung Starscream furiously while still running on the filthy ground, not nearly as frightening as the first time it happened, it still left him gasping for air.

He flew from the maw as Predaking roughly released him, landing a distance away with a horrid crunch.

This time he didn't have the will to crawl away.

Predaking transformed immediately as he stomped over to the downed seeker, kicking down a foot on top of Starscream's chassis again, making him vent sickeningly.

He stared again, and Starscream stared back.

"I-is this just your way of greeting me?" He struggled as Predaking shifted more weight on top of him, it was like he was being crushed.

"Perhaps. I don't really have a reason to do this besides seeing you suffer."

Starscream rolled his optics in a weird sort of fear.

"I'm flattered."

Predaking hummed with a sinister smile.

"You should be, you're one in a kind in that regard."

The small jet shifted a bit in his spot, he was utterly gritty now that the Predacon decided to roll him in the wet rust.

Predaking didn't enjoy the fighting, leaning down closer to Starscream's face, while keeping that jagged pede on his little chassis.

The Predacon seemed to enjoy staring into Starscream's very spark, that ferocious glare on top of those fearful red optics, like he was drawing desperation out with a sponge.

Starscream's brows creased in unease, looking back was becoming much more of a challenge, Predaking  _ wanted _ it to be a challenge.

But alas, Starscream one again submitted, turning his head away while closing his optics.

Predaking's smile was almost audible. He put a clawed servo around the little seeker's neck and jaw, drawing a whimper from him.

Eventually, he did let go, releasing his heavy pede while Starscream shivered in his place on the dirty beach. Predaking's diligence was still a true kind of horror for anyone who wronged him.

The seeker regained his voice once more.

"Why, why do you let me live?"

The Predacon widened his eyes just a little, considered the question with silence.

Though, he always had the answer with him.

"Your fear never ceases to bring enjoyment to me."

Somehow that answer felt like it was missing a critical piece, but Starscream would never get his proper answer, as Predaking had already flown away.

He really didn't feel like getting up, no matter how filthy the ground was.

Predaking became just a little less scary after that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry Predaking will be a little nicer (maybe) 
> 
> Comments kudos you name it; they brighten any authors day!


	6. Exaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, I'm not at all used to writing these mega stories, I prefer short stories with intricate word play and stuff. Please please please give some criticism or thoughts on the writing plus story!

"You're filthy."

Arriving at the laboratory with a now dried coating of radiated mud was not how Starscream would have wanted it to go. After being tossed around by Predaking like a lobbing ball, Starscream honestly didn't care if he showed up looking like a clay sculpture, he just wanted to get back.

Shockwave didn't seem disgusted, just annoyed. Which was understandable, even Starscream was visibly repulsed by the mucked ends of his heels creating comical footprints out of dust.

He'd thought that the flight back would cause the grimy substance to wash away with the wind, but the worst scenario happened and it dried. 

There weren't any washrooms or designated oil faucets in the lab, which gave Starscream another reason to complain to his scientist.

Shockwave handed him an acidic cleaning agent, supposedly it would wipe away the mud without the use of running water or any other cleanser. Starscream begrudgingly took it and headed back up to the surface, not wanting to dirty up the small area any further. Especially if he was sleeping there.

The refiner stung like Pit, but it seemed to be working. He had to stand up in odd positions in order to reach joints that were otherwise unconventional. 

Unfortunately he was unable to get extremely tight crevices and joints with the cloth, as well as his wings which were caked beyond recognition.

Whatever, Starscream was satisfied for now as his main appendages were no longer covered in that sickening rust substance. Hopefully he'd find a washrack eventually and get to his wings, they were starting to go numb from the sensation.

Arriving back sprung a fascinated interest in what Shockwave was doing this time. Even now, the behemoth of a mech seemed to be a little less annoyed at Starscream's presence.

He simply watched what the tank was doing from the other end of the work table with tired eyes. He didn't understand this particular contraption, which Shockwave was implementing the power core that the seeker recently gave to him.

Starscream couldn't help but stare at the single red eye, like a moth to a flame. There wasn't anything else his optics were capable of looking at for the moment 

"You're staring."

That snapped him back surely. Starscream averted his gaze with a long sigh, mind full with steel wool. Today was another day.

  
  


-

  
  


They _needed_ that Synthetic Energon formula as soon as possible, for their blue cube supply had minimized to only one more crate. Enough to last for a couple more cycles on full power.

Starscream had sucked it up and began running on half energy. He wanted to make the excuse that seeker's needed a steady stream of good quality Energon at full capacity, but Shockwave knew that was a farce. Seekers didn't _need_ full power to fly, but Starscream hated the feeling of a half full tank. Every mech did.

Flying through the wasteland of Cybertron was exhausting, Starscream had to slow every couple of kliks to adjust to the speed change. He'd ran on reserves many times in the past, but even Megatron made sure his troops fought with full bellies.

He had to go searching in less than pleasant areas in order to snuff out the location of the Nemesis, if that still were the Autobot's Cybertronian base.

Soaring over our Kaon was risky, but being equipped with a spark dampener had lowered his chances of getting spotted, now he just had to make sure he wasn't seen _physically_.

The area was still as bad as it had been the last time, flying silently while ducking in between and below the ruins of this once powerful empire.

There wasn't anything of note as he flew, Starscream sighed periodically when he looked down and saw absolutely no sign of the Nemesis' location.

He did however track down the same spot where the construction crew had been at work, still at it as the green giant assisted the Vehicons with the building process.

They had even made quite the progress with the build, that circular structure they had started on was looking near finished as the constructors began working on other nearby homes.

For some reason it made Starscream's spark swell with a strange emotion. Cybertron really was going to come back.

He made special care to not be seen by Bulkhead this time around, maneuvering past the sight and going even further into inner-Kaon. An Autobot danger zone.

This area was more clean, more visible tire tracks and footprints scattered the metal ground in orderly fashion. Starscream huffed nervously as he flew, silencing his rotors from time to time.

He was getting close, he could feel it. The air felt thick with unknown fields that had Starscream reeling at the intensity.

He transformed and landed in victorious pursuit, exaggerated as he preferred it. It would be better to scout on foot rather than attempt to fly and risk getting seen midair.

If he did happen to get caught however, surely he could outrun any Autobot. Well, maybe not Optimus now with his cheaty little jet pack. He wondered what the big oaf was up to now…

Starscream shook his mind palace away and continued through the expanse of broken buildings and shattered roads, filling his chassis with an uncomfortable squeezing sensation.

His optics widened, and he ran forward boldly.

There it was, their once beloved ship turned into enemy reins for the foreseeable future.

This was it, he could sneak inside and snatch the formula from the medic's servos and run like s misbehaving cassette.

Starscream thought for a moment as he ducked behind some steel plates. Was it a good idea to board now? Or should he report back to Shockwave with this valuable information.

They might need time to plan it out after all…

No, he had to do this now. The ship might only be temporally docked and will move before they have the chance to do a quiet ambush. He had the opportunity of surprise in his palm, now is the only time he will get to take the formula.

Starscream shakily sighed with fear and unease. This day might he his last if he failed.

That was alright, and he sprinted forward.

  
  


-

  
  


The ship was much more easy to access then he'd anticipated. There was only one lonely Vehicon posted as a guard on the main entrance, but it's not like Starscream was going to use that anyway.

He scaled the ship and found one of the designated escape hatchets, and carefully picked it open to avoid suspicion. The seeker had what the Autobots did not, the advantage of layout knowledge.

He'd been confined to the ship's interior for millennia, Starscream was forced to memorize the Nemesis like his life depended on it, who knew it would prove useful now in this odd time of crisis.

Stumbling about the halls, he noticed just how empty they were, absolutely no patrols of Eradicons jogging the floors with their pedes, and no Soundwave to watch his every move. He pondered as to how exactly the spy master was defeated, and what happened to him.

His footsteps were loud compared to the silent unmoving hull of the ship, it was grating on the audials, however no one was there to listen in on it.

Starscream found the Energon vault with ease, it wasn't the formula but snagging a couple extra cubes would be vital.

The little seeker gaped at the stash, both the blue wondrous Energon cubes stacked up with the intriguing lime coloured fuel. That _must_ be what Synth-N looks like.

Walking around the vault with an odd look at his face, he realized that maybe he didn't have to steal the formula.

Shockwave was a known scientist, but he was more or so a very talented geneticist, the proof of his genius was living alone on Cybertron right now. Maybe if he took a synthetic sample with him, Shockwave could clone in.

Oh, Starscream was practically writhing in his own evil genius right now.

He snatched one green Energon cube and stored it within his subspace, filling it to the limit with his sheer size. He'd wished he could take more along with him, but there simply wasn't enough room.

Sneaking out of the storage area, Starscream was dumbfounded at the lack of security this place had. What in the pit were those Autobots up to?

He retraced his steps through the slippery hallways, back to the little hatch he opened from the outside.

Before exiting the ship for good, he pondered a bit. What really did happen to Soundwave? And Knock Out as well? Were they being held prisoner, or had they been killed already?

The questions were aggravating in that they were convincing enough to lead Starscream to the brig.

This door was also unguarded, even that was annoying.

Surely if there were prisoners being kept they would have a guard on stand, or maybe the Autobots needed all the bot-power they could get.

No matter, it both worried and surprised Starscream, and he opened the cell door.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger but you guys know what gonna happen next


	7. Terrible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a shorter chapter, but it is an important one.
> 
> Thank y'all guys so much for the 20+ kudos! It amazes me that twenty people out there in the world enjoyed my story   
> And sorry if the ending of this chapter is a bit uprupt I hope it all makes sense

The brig was surprisingly empty upon first glance, only a few Vehicons grouping together in clumps of about three or four. These ones must have rebelled the new rule, unlike the ones assisting in construction and guard posting.

It only reminded Starscream sadly that the Vehicons were more than mindless drones. Of course, they were relatively compliant with their captivity, as if it didn't seem to bother them that much.

Besides that, the brig was very dark, not unlike any other part of the ship but particularly so here. It was a spacious area without any off rooms besides one, which appeared to be a singular washrack, unpleasant but acceptable.

He remembered occasionally being thrown in the brig as a punishment for disobedience, shuddering a little at the familiarity. It wasn't as dark as he thought it would be.

"...Starscream? Is it really you?"

Said one grey Eradicon, the others were already staring at the familiar presence of their once commander.

"Yes, it is me, I'm here to get you out of here." 

It was an oddly sentimental thing for him to say, but it was the truth. Shockwave and him needed all the servos they could get, whether out of selfish intent or a concern for the troops' wellbeing, they would be freed regardless.

"Where is Soundwave?" Was the first question Starscream asked, the Vehicons shared looks at each other, mumbles were audible among the large grouped prison cell.

"Didn't you hear? Soundwave vanished into thin air apparently, no one's seen or heard from him since the last battle."

Starscream frowned, his brows creasing steadily. Had Soundwave truly perished? He would've been a valuable asset, but it was hard to imagine a Soundwave without a Megatron. It's like the Third in Command worshipped the warlord as though his life depended on it.

Perhaps they bonded? It would explain why Soundwave disappeared at the same time that, Megatron's spark was extinguished. It would also explain why they were rarely apart from one another.

The same Eradicon that spoke earlier lifted a digit and pointed behind Starscream carefully.

"Our medic is still with us though. I'm not sure why."

That statement was ominous, but Starscream looked back anyhow, ignoring the urge to press with more questions. 

There he was, the red Decepticon was laying on the ground with his chassis to the wall, the bright yellow and black wheels extenuating out of his back like wings.

Either Knock Out was good at ignoring, or he was in a deep recharge.

It was the latter as Starscream pushed Knock Out on to his back roughly, attempting to wake him up with physical contact alone. That did not seem to work though.

"Hey, Knock Out! Get your lazy aft off the ground!"

The medic finally stirred, a tired optic lifting gently with the elegant red glow the physician always had, only to widen a bit at the sight.

"...Starscream?"

"Knock Out."

The doctor remain silent for a while, observing the small seeker as if trying to get a grip on what kind of situation, his face was both compliant and scrunched up.

"...you're absolutely filthy, when's the last time you bathed?"

Starscream was very glad Knock Out was the same, and also extremely annoyed by it.

"That's not important, come on, we're getting out of here." He pulled Knock Out's arm up to assist him to his feet, only to be stopped shortly.

"Wait, please wait a second." Knock Out sounded tired, his optics trimmed down in worry, and Starscream gave an odd look at his pleas.

"Where have you been? I mean, I thought you would have tried to take this ship over since Megatron was killed." Starscream flinched at how nonchalantly the medic mentioned his former leader's demise.

"Too risky. I escaped along with Shockwave and we are now in one of his old laboratories." Knock Out raised a brow.

"Really? I'm surprised Shockwave hasn't turned you into a lab experiment yet, what happened to the whole Decepticon thing you've been raving about since being second in command?" He asked, it sounded far too detached.

"...first in command now."

Starscream looked at the ground blankly after the aloof statement, Knock Out stared carefully, like he was trying to crack into that mind of his.

"Well, Lord Starscream, what are your current plans?" Starscream was glad he finally had a somewhat answer for that.

"I came aboard to take the Synthetic Energon formula from the Autobots, but I came up with a simpler method." He partially opened his chest plate to show the Synth-N cube crammed inside his subspace, Knock Out looked almost too fascinated by it.

"Taking one Energon cube and recreating the formula would be much more efficient."

"Smart, but what about us?"

Starscream put a digit to his chin thoughtfully, purposefully exaggerating the gesture.

"I had almost left without considering you all to be aboard, no offense." He heard Knock Out chortle at that.

"Offense taken!"

He finally lifted the medic up to his feet as the other Decepticons watched with a strange fascination. A wallowing pride began to rise in his chassis at the sight.

"We cannot risk a full on ambush, the Autobots outnumber and out-power us in every quality. So, we will have to sneak out the way I came in."

  
  


-

  
  


The hallway was empty yet again, no surprise. Starscream peered forward first along with Knock Out to lead their Vehicon caravan.

There were only about seven Decepticons not including he and the medic, enough to make a racket so they would have to be careful while making the next move.

He scouted forward, and they began to go.

It was still empty throughout the halls, it was downright  _ infuriating _ at how nonchalant these Autobots were, it's like they were begging for a prison break to happen.

Starscream almost wished that an Autobot would breach their safety.

"-hey! What do you think you're doing?"

In other words, Starscream wasn't even safe with himself, and the goose chase began.

The blue motorcycle began raining fire as the Decepticons scattered goofily, this was not part of the plan. 

He and Knock Out ran past the shouting Autobot and started to run nonsensically in order to shake anyone off their tale, but in reality Arcee had probably called her Autobot friends for backup, there was no way out of this.

Starscream lost track of where the Vehicons were, as Knock Out began to both laugh and scream weirdly.

"T-this is the best idea you had?!" Starscream continued to run with his lanky legs that were not meant for running.

"I-I'll admit there were some f-flaws in the plan.." He could hear Knock Out's optics rolling.

Pretty soon, they came to a panting stop in a hallway that was just like the rest of them. If he were human, he'd probably have a fresh coating of sweat across his entire stance.

"I think we lost them-"

"Hey! Stay where you are!"

It was the rookie Autobot, pointing an oversized blaster at the two of them while carrying almost scared optics. Starscream would pity him if it weren't for the predicament he'd lay himself in.

"S-stay where you are or I'll shoot!" Smokescreen had a forced angered expression as means to try and make himself look more intimidating, however Starscream did not have to put in much effort to make his optics gleam with an unprecedented glare, making Smokescreen try harder.

Starscream put a hand out to signal Knock Out to stay back, and he lunged.

Smokescreen fumbled with the gun fearfully as he saw the seeker snarl as he got closer. 

A shot was fired, and it skimmed Starscream's armour gently, barely a dent to be had, Smokescreen was sure he was dead.

  
  


However, Starscream reeled back in realization,

as the Energon in his chassis ignited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for another cliffhanger its just my thing now


	8. Unfortunate event

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for very graphic depictions of robot violence and gritty nitty, as well as some inaccurate medical descriptions, getting imaginative with robo anatomy can be a little confusing haha

It had all happened so quickly, shallowly running through those confusing halls for whatever reason the weird seeker had to offer.

It had all been so lighthearted too, like the good ol' days aboard the Nemesis. Despite how sour others would sew it, Knock Out had missed those times where he and Starscream would bicker and run away about nonsense.

And so inconsequential too, even if it failed the Autobots would just throw him back into a cell. But this was so much worse.

At first, Knock Out couldn't tell if the blood-curdling scream was his or Starscream's.

The origin of the explosion was slow at first, the seeker paused for a moment as the horrid realization began to flow amongst them. Then, a blinding lime green light flooded the room, and Starscream collapsed to the floor.

Knock Out figured out that the scream was his own, face contorting at the horrific sight of Starscream's stuttering body.

His entire chassis was blown off in jagged rivets, the remnants of the metal casing had either shattered or disintegrated into an ugly black powder, scattering the ship's surface like dust.

The majority of the internal organs appeared to be ruptured, and his venting system collapsed. The pool of Energon was beginning to form underneath the seeker as his body whimpered. 

A large portion of Starscream's spark chamber was decimated, revealing the erratic pulse to the air frightfully. The medic loathed the thought of what would've happened if any piece of shrapnel had penetrated the spark chamber, but it appeared to have been lucky this time around.

Knock Out nearly purged when he saw that Starscream was still awake.

The Autobot rookie looked to be taking the sight worse than he, the colour draining from Smokescreen's face rapidly as he gaped at the still alive frame next to him.

Knock Out felt like screaming at the Autobot, it's all he could comprehend as he stumbled towards the limp body of his commander. He didn't even like Starscream that much, yet a pang in his spark occurred the moment that stupid seeker's life was on the line.

"Get your doctor, Autobot!"

"B-but I-"

_ "JUST GO!" _

Smokescreen flinched back, and began sprinting away to alert his superiors. Knock Out almost forgot that  _ he  _ was a physician as he tried moving his servos across the broken body before him.

Starscream tried to breath in, all that could be heard was a pathetic jittering of failing motors, Knock Out frowned immensely as he attempted to regain his medical wits.

The rumbling seeker beside him looked up to Knock Out with wide, flickering optics, and the sight made him whimper. Starscream's chest stuttered weakly every once a while, his spark beating unbearably fast, the odds made Knock Out be unable to think.

_ Think, think! You're a medic idiot, what are you supposed to do?! _

He shook his head, and finally recollected. Starscream would have to be moved to the medical bay as quickly as possible to be put on life support, it was his only chance at making it.

Knock Out, as carefully as he could, began lifting Starscream off the ground while mumbling nothing comforts. The seeker on multiple occasions attempted to speak, all the while the bloody blue Energon was amalgamating in and out of his mouth.

"You're, you're gonna be okay herr commander, everything will be fine…" 

In reality, Knock Out didn't know if things were going to be fine, and that's what scared him the most.

  
  


-

  
  


"Where's the patient?"

Ratchet had subsequently been called from his post on Earth, there's no way in Pit Knock Out could have pulled off a miracle alone. The Autobot medic frowned at the sight of the Decepticon in the med bay, but his frown deepened into a surprised scowl when he saw what was on the medical berth.

Apparently from the stories, Ratchet had seen worse injuries before than what befell the unfortunate seeker. Still, his expression said all.

The Autobot didn't ask questions, that pleased Knock Out as they instantly got to work, ignoring the insignias of their groups just for this one slim effort.

Starscream was still awake, Knock Out couldn't risk inducing stasis or else it might permanently put the commander in a deathly sleep.

Ratchet observed with utmost caution, a fearful grimace came out when he saw that Starscream's spark was exposed and fading.

"Life support isn't enough to stabilize him, he will overheat if his vents aren't repaired in time, and a plethora of other organs that will need to be fixed in due time." Explained Knock Out, and Ratchet listened intently.

"I hate to say it, but, I don't think the small fry is gonna make it through this…"

Ratchet was surprised by Knock Out's pessimism, glaring down at Starscream who was probably in too much pain to even pay attention to the two.

"No matter what your unprofessional aft thinks, we must try to save him." Knock Out nodded shakily.

"Just do as I say, and we can assure he will pull through."

Ratchet knew he could not guarantee the lives of any of his patients, but the added servo of Knock Out's assistance would increase the unlikely odds.

They began instantly, no time could be wasted.

"Place the respirator in the port where the vent used to be, and then put on the mouth piece to drain the energon."

Ratchet already started repairing the ventilators that had snapped off their intended ports, while Knock Out did as he asked. The respirator would keep Starscream cool as well as clear the main lines of any spilt Energon.

He put the piece over Starscream's glossa and Starscream bit down on it when it reached the back of his throat, Knock Out shivered uncontrollably at the thought of Starscream being awake during the whole procedure.

The sparkpulse monitor beeped like a ticking time bomb for the seeker's welfare, making the two medics sweat non-existent bullets.

Ratchet instructed the red physician to fix up the main Energon line beneath the spark chamber that was still occasionally dripping the luminescent life blood.

It was incredibly stressful for Knock Out. He was a medic, yes, but not a field medic like the old fool was. If a Decepticon died on his table, no one would bat an eye. But not  _ this _ Decepticon. This kind of terror was a whole new experience for someone as self confident as himself.

His hands were shaking, it was immensely difficult to severe the Energon lines and replace them with his stupid servos getting in the way.

The spark monitor flatlined, and Knock Out felt like screaming, but Ratchet knew it wasn't over.

"Get the defibrillator! Hurry!" There was a strange urgency in the medic's voice for someone he despised as much as Starscream.

Knock Out fumbled on the edge of the medical berth, the defibrillator was located on his side, neatly against the vertical platform.

Ratchet lifted his servo up as signal while Knock Out held the two ports above the sides of Starscream's destroyed chest, there wasn't anywhere else to place them.

"Clear!" Knock Out pushed down and Starscream's body jotted up for a klik before the monitor jumpstarted up again. 

The defibrillator may have worked the first time, but it couldn't be assured the next, they would have to avoid any more flatlines in the next orn.

Starscream mentally was far gone at this point, optics lolled to the back of his head, flickering in and out of consciousness, but at least he was still awake.

The procedure went on for hours, kliks upon kliks of stress and the unbelievable workload you would have come to expect from any sort of medic (qualified or not).

Starscream had flatlined a total of three more times that evening, until eventually, the Energon lines were stabilized, and his vents were repaired.

He was far from functional, but Knock Out sighed in relief at the fact that he could finally put Starscream into medical stasis safely, ending his premature suffering.

Knock Out sat himself on a spare seat, his head in his servos.

He had never handled a job quite like that before, he almost felt like crying. To lose someone you care about, except they are on your own medical slab, while being awake for the whole thing.

He never imagined being a doctor could be so horrifying.

Ratchet, on the other hand, had seen everything.

Still, Knock Out felt the soft servo on his shoulder, Ratchet would know what it was like to lose someone under your care, even though Starscream had made it.

But he barely made it, he barely lived through it, Knock Out didn't know what he would've done if Starscream's spark was snuffed before he had the chance to save him.

He heard Ratchet stand up, the procedure seemed to be taking a toll on him as well by the sound of his voice.

"Come on, our work isn't done yet."

  
  
  



	9. Harbinger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I call the "fanservice chapter", viewer discretion is advised
> 
> Sorry if I haven't been able to reply to all y'alls comments but chances are I've looked at them and then began to smile profusely for the next hour. I jussed wanted to let u all know that I appreciate you for sticking by and leaving your thoughts :D

They spent the whole evening working on the seeker's disfigured insides.

Knock Out waved a jittery hand over his fins while looking down at Starscream, now finally asleep with a pained grimace on his faceplates.

Ratchet informed him that they couldn't afford to perform anymore surgery, or else the strain on his systems could lead to irreversible consequences. For now, Starscream's own internal healing would have to be exemplified, making it a matter of waiting.

It seemed like Ratchet could tell that the situation had deeply disturbed the Decepticon medic, eyeing him with a look of concern.

That didn't stop him from pressing the questions however. Knock Out wouldn't have suspected any less.

"Do you mind telling me how Starscream ended up in such a state? How did he even board this vessel?"

Knock Out stared down at the jet's restful frame, contemplating his resolve. He didn't want to betray Starscream's morale by answering for him, but Knock Out had a feeling he could do it more truthfully than the silvertongue seeker.

"You may not want to be the only one to hear this."

  
  


-

  
  


Knock Out was even surprised with himself for allowing others to hear him out. If he had told Ratchet, Ratchet would have to pass it along eventually. He was just making it easier he supposed.

  
  


The whole team had arrived in the medical bay with due time, even though Knock Out had only requested Optimus and Smokescreen to come. All their expressions leveled with varying degrees of concern, pity, or other emotions. Ratchet had to place a white sheet over Starscream's chassis, they didn't need to witness that.

  
  


An Optimus Prime with an unidentifiable expression, seemed to appear upset.

An Ultra Magnus with a blank face, showcasing that he had seen the unpleasant side of the war more times than he remembers.

A Bumblebee, saw some dried Energon on the edges of the sheet, looked more pale than usual.

A Bulkhead that began to experience memories best left forgotten when he saw the dark optics below him.

A Wheeljack that had put up a battle mask to hide his frown.

A Smokescreen who wobbled like he would pass out from shame.

Even Arcee looked stressed out by the sight.

  
  


"Knock Out." Optimus' tone was enough for Knock Out to understand. He cleared his windpipe, trying to find the right sayings to spout in front of this unexpected audience.

"From what I recall, Starscream had entered through one of the emergency ducts on the surface of the ship. He told me he came looking for the synthetic Energon formula."

The team members brows raised slightly, Smokescreen shifted anxiously at his feet. Ratchet was surprised by this though.

"There's no way he could have, the files are stored only with me, and I was away when, everything happened." Ratchet hesitated at that last part subtly.

"That's why he did not. He took a synthetic Energon cube in the hopes that it's code could be replicated by Shockwave." Now that peeked the other's interests.

"Shockwave is still up and kicking?" Said a dazed Bulkhead, still staring at the unconscious Starscream nervously, like the sight was familiar in a strange way.

"I believe the two banded together, yes. Starscream came by the brig and said he would help us escape, that being me and the Vehicons. They're okay, right?"

"Oh yeah, we wrangled them up again, no casualties this time." Said an Arcee with a tinge of pride in her voice. Knock Out breathed a sigh of relief, even though he wasn't that close to those troops he was glad they were alright. Ratchet huffed on however.

"That doesn't explain why Starscream had a gaping crater in both his chassis and spark chamber."

Smokescreen's door wings drooped as intook a sharp vent. Optimus, unfortunately noticed this odd reaction.

"Is there something you would like to add, Smokescreen?" The words weren't malicious at all, especially coming from someone as calm natured as the Autobot leader. Still, the rookie stumbled.

"I-I think I should go…" Said rookie covered his mouth with a shaky servo and escorted himself quickly out of the room. The others mostly assumed that maybe Smokescreen was squeamish since he was so young, but one of them knew the real reasoning behind his departure.

Knock Out continued knowingly, despite everyone being preoccupied with pondering.

"He stored the Synthetic Energon in his subspace as we fled the brig. I should've known it was an accident waiting to happen."

The gears were beginning to click in the Autobots' minds, Ratchet grumbled at the new information, but Knock Out wasn't done.

"We were stopped by Smokescreen during our escape attempt, within firing range, but Starscream was stubborn and tried to lunge at him like a cybercat. The shot only just skimmed Starscream's plating, it should've been nothing."

Knock Out was beginning to relive the experience in his head again, watching the lime rivets cascade over the seeker's chassis before imploding into a mixture of metal and bloody Energon.

"It should've been nothing, but the Energon ignited. The rest is history."

That concluded his story. Ratchet looked both repulsed and sorrowful after hearing the explanation for the first time.

"An Energon ignition inside a mech's own subspace. Do you realize just how lucky Starscream is to have made it out alive?"

The mood darkened for all of them, Knock Out loathed that. He spoke with a soft smile.

"Well, knowing him, he is too stubborn to die."

Knock Out stared back down at Starscream with that same gentle smile, his commander had gone through life and limb and an uncountable amount of near death experiences, and yet he was still here.

"...now I get why Smokescreen looked so upset, he must be blaming this on himself." Said Bumblebee, who was entirely correct. Knock Out wanted to hate that stupid rookie for all it's worth, but it wasn't at all his fault.

"It was both a mistake and an accident, don't let the Praxian bring himself down about it." Said Knock Out, surprised by his own kind choice of words.

Even Optimus was considering the statement, the attention from the big guy made him flush in a little embarrassment.

The awkward silence finally broke, aside from the quiet beeping of the monitor.

"Knock Out, do you happen to know where Shockwave and Starscream are staying?" He shook his head gently.

"I do not."

Optimus knew there was more to be said.

"Even if I did, I don't think I could bring myself to violate Starscream's resolve by speaking behind his back." Optimus's optics widened slightly, taking in this new side of Knock Out that no one had been able to witness before.

"You still feel loyal to him."

"I do.

He was never a good second in command, even while Megatron was still alive. But now he's gone, and I think a part of Starscream went missing too.

He is the leader of the Decepticons, and yet he's just, so  _ uncool _ ." Knock Out chuckled at that last part, he would've been the last person to spill their spark out to someone, let alone a whole group of them.

"He's the most lame leader you could ask for, yet, upon seeing him for the first time after the war ended, he looked like he wanted to be better. He could've just left us to rot in the brig, but he didn't.

I don't know whether or not it was out of selfishness or not, I don't think I'll ever know, but he defended me, and it almost cost him his life. It's like I don't even know who he is any more.

But, I think I like these new changes."

Everyone was stunned at the spiel Knock Out allowed to exit his mouth, all the while he looked down thoughtfully at the sleeping Starscream, gently holding a cold servo in his palm.

"I don't think Starscream is the only one who changed." Knock Out looked up to the Prime, a bit shocked. There was a small grin on his face, and the medic blushed after realizing the whole speech he had let loose seemed to have an effect on the big Autobot.

There was a collected ache within his spark that had finally been set free, and Optimus was the harbinger of it.

Looking back down at the healing seeker, maybe things could be better after all.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ME GRIMLOCK
> 
> ME GRIMLOCK
> 
> ME GRIMLOCK


	10. Goad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer because of the sheer amount of sex jokes I so do apologize for that
> 
> Prepare for da cheese my people

* * *

The red Decepticon had stayed beside the limp commander for longer than was needed.

Ratchet budged him about needing recharge many times, but Knock Out was just as stubborn as his patient, annoyingly so.

There wasn't much he could do to stop Knock Out from sitting next to that medical berth, field pulsing with an immense fear and care. It's not as though he would want to stop him, the physician at hand had done everything he could, for someone as abrasive as Knock Out, he seemed tired.

Ratchet too, was also tired, but at least he got his sleep in, as minimal and menine it was. 

He contacted the Earth base to let them know he was alright, seeing Fowler and the children was pleasantly reassuring for the old medic.

But, he left some important details out in a controlled white lie. They didn't need to know that the patient he mentioned was  _ Starscream  _ of all people, who knows what kind of albeit entertaining chaos could happen from the information.

Optimus was alerted by Ratchet that Starscream would make a recovery in due time. Their leader seemed more distant than usual, perhaps thinking too harshly on the could haves and would haves of Megatron's once second in command nearly having their spark blown to scrap.

Optimus did seem more enervated and fatigued lately, for reasons that many of the crew including himself share. It was so strange not fighting anymore, the idea of change was just so draining. But, to live peacefully, a little boredom would suffice.

He was happy to hear the news of Starscream's impending recovery, as happy as the semi could communicate with that stoic face of his.

But, the question still befell them,  _ all _ of them.

What was going to happen to Starscream when he recovered?

  
  


-

  
  


"I don't know, medic, can we worry about this later?"

Knock Out was still seated beside the berth, watching a restful seeker as its chassis rose and fell in an orderly rhythm. Apparently Optimus was not the only one hesitant to answer that question.

"I just need to know where your loyalties lie." Knock Out sighed at Ratchet's retort. He was getting more exasperated by the minute.

"Of course I  _ care _ about Starscream, but I don't care about the whole taking over Cybertron thing like he does. I don't even know if he's still interested in warfare anymore." He put his chin in a servo that propped against his knee casually, not even looking at Ratchet during the conversation.

"Even if I don't go, you guys will probably throw me back into the brig once you don't need my assistance anymore. Frag, might as well throw Starscream in there as well, at least he can't blow himself up with Energon in there." Oh, Ratchet did not like this tired attitude coming from Knock Out, not one bit, but he didn't blame him. Sorta.

Ratchet growled a bit, trying to call his nerves.

"Look, I don't know what you think we're going to do with Starscream, because quite frankly I don't know either. But YOU on the other hand…" Ratchet pointed a sinister digit at Knock Out's frame, the mech's optics widening slightly.

"...we've considered that you can go on probation.  _ If  _ you don't frag things up this time around."

Knock Out stared blankly for a moment, only for a scrap-eating grin to appear on his face massively. Before Ratchet could comprehend life itself, Knock Out wrapped the old medic in a purposefully tight hug. How loopy was Knock Out at this point?

Ratchet embarrassingly averted his optics away and Knock Out didn't even flinch.

"Will you get some recharge in now?" Knock Out snickered.

"Why? I thought you'd enjoy it." Oh, of course Knock Out had to act bawdy even now. Ratchet groaned miserably, especially with those filthy servos palming him like oil slick.

"Please just let me go and get some sleep before I prod your optics out with a driver."

Knock Out shrugged with a goofy grin, finally letting go of the Autobot physician as his pedes dropped to the floor aimlessly.

"Whatever you say, Autobot."

  
  


-

  
  
  


The Aston Martin looked like vorns had vanished from his frame after a well earned rest. Still, Ratchet knew it was not over for him just yet. He had willed it so.

"I want to see Smokescreen."

That made Ratchet raise a brow curiously, but he understood instantly.

"You want to apologize to him?"

"That would be oversimplifying it, but something of the sort, yes." Ratchet nodded curtly, they would just have to find the scout first however.

He opened up the com link to Wheeljack, Smokescreen had recently grown fond of the ridiculous wrecker, if anyone knew his location, it would be the explosive genius.

The reaction was immediate and Ratchet groaned in irritation.

"Hey doc, glad you finally answered, I was wondering if you were up for-"

"Oh shut it, I called because I wanted to ask if you knew where Smokescreen was."

There was a bit of silence on the line, like Wheeljack was either contemplating an answer or was upset at the interruption. Knowing him, it was probably a casual mix of both.

"I asked him earlier if he wanted to fling some of my 'inventions' off the landing, but said no through his door. In fact, he's probably still there.

"I'd warn you though, he seems awfully moody today." Ratchet hummed at the compliance.

"Thank you Wheeljack, the help is appreciated."

"And now that's out of the way maybe you could consider-"

"Goodbye Wheeljack." He cut the line abruptly.

Knock Out chuckled a little, Ratchet looked at him with a mean glare, the medic had been eavesdropping as always.

"So, what was that about?" Knock Out put his servos to his hips morbidly, making the gruffy Autobot roll his optics. The Decepticon was famously known for being too invasive with pretty much every aspect of life itself. Ratchet, stupidly, decided to humour Knock Out's curiosity.

"..Wheeljack has been making it a pastime of his to try and get under all the Autobot's modesty plating."

Knock Out grinned madly at that, because of course he would.

"..is he succeeding?"

  
  


-

  
  


Knock Out would never get an answer as the two of them walked carefully to Smokescreen's quarters.

The corridor was as ominous as ever, even without the presence of Decepticons. Ratchet would never get used to this place properly.

Knock out seemed to be acting fine as they strode, Ratchet constantly observing the physician with great care. It was that, or he was good at hiding his true feelings. Becoming a Decepticon required that in the job form after all.

"So, why are you accompanying me? Don't trust me to be alone with an Autobot yet?"

Ratchet grumbled.

_ Not for the reasons you think. _

There it was, the door to the rookie's quarters. It hadn't belonged to any previous Decepticons, or at least any that were publicly known. Not even he would completely process the idea of bunkering in a room that had once belonged to a now deceased mech.

A knock at first, that would be the easiest. There was no response.

Ratchet only was a bit frustrated, but if this kept up his Energon might begin to boil.

He then activated the doorside communicator.

"Smokescreen, this is Ratchet, I need to speak with you. Please open the door." He spoke calmly, nobody liked the medic when he was angry, especially someone who wasn't used to it yet like Smokescreen.

He did have medical authority, with the ability to open any door if necessary. But he didn't want it to come to that.

It didn't need to be, as the sound of a lock clicking echoed throughout the ship. A sliver opened, revealing a small Smokescreen, who then opened the door further.

His wings dropped instantaneously upon seeing Knock Out behind the metal door casing.

"Oh, oh Primus, i-is he..?"

Knock Out's optics widened as he realized what the sporty was implying.

"Oh no! Starscream is alive and well and making a full recovery." That seemed to calm his nerves a bit, as his doorwings stopped shivering.

"May we come inside?" Asked a Ratchet in a quieter voice upon seeing the state of his younger comrade.

"Yeah, yeah sure.."

He opened the door wider to give more room for the other two to enter. The area was rather sound, not too spacious to the point of being overwhelming. It was just the right size for the mech; and mechs.

The walls were lined with posters of different known warriors and activists from Cybertron's golden age. Ratchet recognized a few of them.

"Uhm.." Smokescreen fumbled, everything about this encounter contradicted the unpredictable nature of the scout. Then again, he was unpredictable. "There really isn't anywhere for you guys to sit-"

"That is fine, we simply wish to talk to you is all." Said Ratchet as he elbowed a Knock Out, who was dazing off as he stared at the posters.

"I'll just get straight to the point, no need to make this any longer." Knock Out stepped forward seamlessly, placing both servos on Smokescreen's shoulders as the rookie flinched.

"What happened to Starscream wasn't your fault, you hear me? If anything, it was that own fool's fault for putting the Energon in his subspace."

Smokescreen frowned, but mostly in confusion.

"..there was Energon in his subspace?" Knock Out was about to shout back at him, but Ratchet raised a dutiful hand.

"Indeed, he was attempting to steal Synthetic Energon by storing it in his subspace. The fact that a grazed shot ignited said Energon is simply put, an accident." Said Ratchet with a concerned look on his face, Smokescreen didn't seem to be comprehending it very well.

"B-but I still fired the shot! I'm the reason he's almost dead, it's because of me!" Smokescreen looked as if his optics would burst from how wet they appeared. Knock Out didn't like the guilt he was admitting.

"You were only defending yourself, it was Starscream's own irrational behaviour to try to take you on when you were armed and he was not."

"That doesn't stop the fact that he's still on that medical berth, he, he could've been snuffed forever man. I didn't know that feeling could be so terrible, I don't even like Starscream!"

Knock Out chortled loudly, and Smokescreen gave a look of pure disdain.

"How is that funny to you? I thought Starscream was your friend!" Knock Out looked back to the rookie, the tears were finally visible on his grey faceplates.

"You misunderstand. I don't like Starscream either."

Smokescreen just got more confused, even Ratchet became curious at the statement.

"Yet, with all his stupidity and irrational behaviour, he brings out a side of me I never thought would be. He does not forgive easily, but above all, he does not forgive himself.

"Even through all the strife, he always comes back, and he always finds a way to get people to hate him."

Knock Out straightened himself up, a weird pride beginning to swell in his chassis.

"While being asleep, I think even he knows it was his doing. I don't want him to wake up and finding out he ruined someone's life by his own accident."

The red medic placed a palm on the center of Smokescreen's chest, the rookie looking down cautiously with those creased saddened brows.

"Yes, you did play a part in it all, but I hope you'll find it in your spark to forgive yourself. Something that even I need to learn." He looked up back to the medic, instead of a warming smile, it was a concerned, and hardened expression. Even so, it brought forth a determination instead of a wallowing in self pity.

He nodded, the hand over his spark gripped tightly over the metal, trust.

"I won't let you down sir!"

Now after all the emotional strife he bore through,  _ that _ was what made Ratchet smile brightly.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> And I wanted to give a shout out to my best bro Qracko who made awesome fan art for this fiction, I love u man
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/B_J9asinvKJ/?igshid=1n3ikqscajdd4


	11. Thereafter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starscream wakes up!

_….beep….beep….beep…._

That insistent ticking had been playing on repeat for what seemed like ages, only serving to perpetuate the loopy nature of the downed seeker.

Primus, his helm hurt, and that noise wouldn't stop. The beeping was being drowned out by an obnoxious ringing in his audials, it felt like a knife was scraping down the sides of his face.

…. _beep….beep….beep…._

One of his digits twitched, and then another.

Out of annoyance for the sound, Starscream, slowly, began to undim his optics.

He had no idea how out of it he actually was.

The world spun as colours finally formed in his vision.

It hurt even looking at light, he shut off his optics the moment the rays hit the surface.

_….beep….beep….beep…._

Ugh, that noise was getting louder, the ringing being replaced overtime as, unknowingly, consciousness came back.

He could hear other things too, nothing that was very discernable. Even his own mind couldn't process coherent thought. Though unsurprisingly, he was still capable of getting annoyed.

Very annoyed at that, so he tried again to see once more. View fluttering like an excited spark, Starscream was able to keep from going out of it.

Life was blurred from the edges, spinning in dizzying circles. Even though his optics stay online, he couldn't actually see, not really.

_"..s--r---a-...."_

A muffling mumble peeked his dying attention, not even moving his neck or eyes at all, simply trying to pinpoint the chatter.

He could hear himself _breathing_ above all else, vents raggedy like a busted engine.

He could feel something warm wrap around his jaw, it felt like a servo that occasionally and gently shook him, and it seemed to finally rouse him from his slumber.

"Starscream."

The ringing stopped.

He blinked a few times, there was a red outline in front of him. Craning his neck to the left, he found the source of the annoying dinging sound. A blurred machine of sorts connected to the wall.

"Starscream, can you hear me?"

He moved his head back centerpiece of his resting place, and the blurry image of Knock Out began to focus.

Blinking more, the pixels starting increasing, a bright light shone into his optics. The Decepticon doctor was flickering it across the seeing screens of his patient, making him wince at the gleaming ray.

Knock Out pulled a face and put down the torch and went back to prodding Starscream's lids to try and find a response.

He let out a high pitched noise in an attempt to ask the doctor what was going on, which Starscream hadn't heard himself make in a millennia. The physician's optics widened, obviously happy at the rejoinder.

"Don't try to speak if it hurts, okay? Just wait for a moment."

Knock Out did, something. Starscream wasn't really paying attention as he continued looking at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the galaxy.

The pain started returning as his mind started repairing his will. Starscream groaned quietly as a horrid sensation filled his chassis, making his legs static with an electric sensation which wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

That beeping sound got a little faster, and a little less annoying as he pay less attention to it.

His digits twitched, instead of the shallow cold pain he had felt as he'd woken up, it was replaced with a seething white hot pain dipping into his blue blood in short rivets.

A port was attached on his collar next to the shoulder pad, instantly, a difference was to be had, his spark calmed down.

Knock Out conjoined some sort of anesthetic to his systems, Starscream managed to look up to him like a child looking for its parent's attention. The doctor was, concerned enough, from the little the seeker could make out from his bodily movements.

"We can't afford to turn off your pain receptors, otherwise your self-healing won't know what's wrong with your frame. Anesthetic is the only solution for now."

Yeah, Starscream knew the whole pain receptor ordeal. He remembered in a fit of his scared youth he had turned them off out of cowardice for pain. Within the next couple of orns, he was on the verge of deactivation without even realizing it.

He had gotten better at dealing with pain, but this was different. The sensation was _internal_ , like all the Energon left and came back paranormally, nothing like a flesh wound.

Even then, the small jet sighed in relief. The anesthetic did take the edge off. Shutting his optics, calming his worn out spark, he tried to bring himself back fully.

It took a while, but the memories came back.

Opening, he saw Knock Out standing next to the berth, which he assumed to be in the medical bay. The colour drained slightly from the buffer's nice paint, a universal sign of stress.

He opened his glossa to speak, but he didn't know what to say. Luckily, the red medic was good at filling space unnecessarily.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

That was a tough one to think about. Really, the last thing he could properly think about was meeting Knock Out in the brig, conversing in old times sake.

He clenched up and tried to relive after that point, tried to _remember._ Knock Out was surprisingly patient, like he suspected something was wrong.

Something was wrong with him, he was on a damned medical berth, he just didn't know why.

Going deep into his mind, he dug around looking for the memories that would lead to this very moment.

After several long minutes, Starscream opened his optics.

" _Pain."_

Knock Out's brow visibly creased.

"Is that all? I don't mean to press if it hurts to think about." 

"No, no, it needs to be said."

Oh Primus, he _remembered, everything._ Everything after that explosion was nothing but a blur of pure adrenaline inducing panic.

His spark swirled anxiously at the sheer thought of what happened.

"I remember, dying. That's what it felt like. But you were there, you looked scared, for me of all mechs." He paused cautiously, trying to choose his words carefully.

"There was the Autobot medic, at least I think it was. The operation you pulled hurt more than the explosion did, from start to finish I mean."

Knock Out this time got the chance to wince painfully, Starscream peered curiously back at his doctor.

"Is something the matter?" He asked in that slightly egotistical tone of his. Unconsciously, it was his way of comfort, reminding Knock Out that he was still with him.

Knock Out looked down, his face contorted to that of pure anguish, to anger, back to sadness, to terror, and so on. Starscream swore the medic's optics looked wet.

"You were so close."

Starscream tilted his head, what did that mean? They had almost escaped the ship into freedom's loving hand, perhaps.

"..you were so close to dying.."

Oh. That's what he was implying.

Oh, _oh no._

"..I don't know what I would've done if I lost my only living friend."

That reminded Starscream with a heart-wrenching pain. A new pain unlike both the internal and flesh.

He had heard Makeshift was one of Knock Out's old acquaintances, though his death seemed to not hold much weight on the medic's spark, but a difference in his personality began.

Breakdown was Knock Out's other half, losing him was like losing a limb, or losing a _soulmate_. The worst part about it all was that after hearing about his gruesome demise, he was perfectly fine. Starscream had never seen a denile perpetuate so deep in a mech's spark.

But Dreadwing's death was the last string before Knock Out had gone mad. No wonder he joined the Autobots, it probably seemed like the only way to stop himself from snuffing his own spark out of insanity. Seeing Knock Out torture Silas in the dead frame of Breakdown's body should've been rewarding, a good thing, justice for the one who grounded him. It did give him some satisfactory, after everything he'd done. But after the fact, only then had they realized what a crime they'd committed.

Knock Out especially, seemed more horrified in himself for doing such a thing, no matter how justified it seemed.

The pain ran straight home, as Starscream's biggest regret was not being there for his medic.

He had lost so many friends, family, so many good mechs gone forever. He assumed Knock Out could handle it like he could, be emotional for a few days before returning to regular duties with a new motivation.

But Knock Out was different, he wasn't as sparkless as a Decepticon should've been.

He reached out a servo from the berth, grasping his medic's palm gently as Knock Out widened a gasp at he.

Starscream didn't know what else to do but smile slightly.

"I'm so glad you're alright."

Those words carried too much meaning in them then was necessary for the barely living seeker, but he'd meant it, more than anything in the whole universe.

Forfeiting for life, those words broke down Knock Out's walls as fluids began to drip down his face like a girl in a human soap opera.

"..you're, so stupid.."

Just like a soap opera, Knock Out wrapped his arms around Starscream's shoulders and neck, and began to cry.

"Y-you almost died and I'M the one you're worried about? I-I hate you so much.."

Knock Out choked out with a sobbed chuckle. He was more glad then upset at the point, and that was what Starscream was searching for.

He gently draped his own arms around Knock Out's heaving body, maneuvering past the shivering tires that popped out the back of his frame.

It was a quiet moment thereafter, and a quiet Ratchet observed from the door of the room.

He didn't believe it was possible for such sentiment to be shared between two Decepticons, yet, the striking intimacy left him dumbfounded. He learned something new that day.


	12. Senses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say to the people that reoccurringly post comments on this fic; its so amazing to think that there's people out there that look forward to what you make, and actively support you through it, I just wanna thank y'all for sticking by my amateur writing skills, even to those that don't comment I still love ya :)

For once in his life, he found it easy to sit still.

Not for very long of course, but the stinging of his chassis was a good incentive to sleep on time.

A seeker's internal healings were specifically programmed to be fight orientated, meaning speed and repairs came before everything else. Unlike a simple Vehicon which focused on sheer firepower.

So being, it meant Starscream was able to make a speedy recovery, somewhat.

He was still confined to the berth, even after complaining to Knock Out that he was fine. And he especially didn't feel like complaining to the Autobot medic, whom of which he was not entirely comfortable with yet.

The more worrying thing was that Knock Out slowly stopped coming to visit the medbay as often, with the grumpy old doctor taking his place. As if he were trying to assimilate him subtly by making him more accustomed to the unfamiliar presence of an Autobot rhetoric.

Guess Knock Out really  _ was _ serious about the whole defecting thing.

It didn't matter too much, Ratchet did help save his life. He was forever in his debt, as painful of a realization it was.

They really didn't give him any sort of entertainment options either, besides just sleeping, which would've been a benefit if it were easier. Starscream asked for sleeping agents but the old doctor said it would only slow down the healing process. And Knock Out _ agreed _ with him!

It wasn't as though there was anything of entertainment value on the Nemesis, but anything would've been better than this.

His new favourite past-time was counting the spark kliks audibly and through the annoying monitor that still played, as well as watching and guessing when the overhead light would flicker on and off.

But his boredom wasn't the main concern in his mind.

Starscream after all the time spent on Cybertron, as well as almost blowing up in a spectacular blaze, felt very  _ unclean. _

His wings still had crumbled radiated mud on them from his fun little playdate with Predaking, dust and sand were stuck in places they shouldn't have been. He swore it must've gotten stuck in the forbidden plating because he felt itchier than he had been in his whole life.

As well as the cosmetic damage. The medics, as talented as they were, repaired internally and externally so there no longer was a massive crater in his chassis. But the clean up had yet to arrive. 

Which he didn't blame them for, it wasn't exactly top priority, but he would be damned if it wasn't uncomfortable as pit.

He wiggled around in the berth very often, not because of the itch to move as a seeker usually had, but because of the literal itch of cleanliness that Starscream begged to swoop down and grace him.

_ Ring! _

The entry bell played. It was Ratchet, as Knock Out never used the doorbell before entering the medical facility, which is the one thing Starscream likes more about the Autodoc.

The metal entry panel slid by, Ratchet walked through with ease over to the desk next to Starscream's bed, placing some holopads onto the steel surface.

"Another physical?"

"Correct." Said Ratchet professionally, making Starscream groan inwardly.

"I keep telling you I can walk just fine, it'll only be a matter of moments before I can fly." Ratchet lifted his brows slightly, only paying attention minutely while looking at one of the holopads. He was very good at being passive aggressive for an Autobot.

"Or so you say. Up up, we'll get started." Starscream rolled his optics, but if it meant getting out sooner, he would oblige.

Starscream maneuvered a little to get his legs kicked up off the bed, hurting less than the last time. Ratchet kept a hand over his chassis and back, balancing him while also checking for spark fluxes caused by the sudden movement.

"Steady…" said Ratchet as he helped the seeker continue his pursuit, sitting up as he pushed himself off the bed with wobbly nimble arms.

Finally, he stood up, flexing his wings that protruded elegantly off his back when he tilted them high into the air. Ratchet held him still, which Starscream wished he hadn't. He wanted to prove to the stubborn doctor that he was fit enough to no longer be bedridden.

"Walk to the console and back without my assistance." 

Ratchet didn't request so much as demand for Starscream to do so. Which he didn't care for, Ratchet was straight to the point, and that's all that mattered at the moment.

Stretching his aching limbs a bit from all the laying down since his last check-in. The actual limbs hadn't been damaged so much by the injury, however the internal backing of the joints were among the many things that were ruptured.

It wasn't pain that stopped him from walking to his full capabilities, the joints and ball endings simply had trouble keeping up with his head.

Venting in hesitantly, Starscream took a step. It was slow, and he swore he could hear the groaning of the exhausted hydraulics. 

It was, easier than he anticipated. It appeared he was indeed better than he had been in a while, swiftly strutting to the control panel with only a few tilts and bobs that slow him down. The sensation of nearly falling on hit him just as he made his way back to the berth, popping down his arms on to the warm metal to keep himself upright.

Ratchet seemed pleased, offering a servo to bring him back into a stand, which Starscream shrugged off stubbornly and managed to get up with minimal effort.

The doctor did something with a holopad, set in down back to the table, and clasped his hands together.

"It does appear to be that you are able to walk well without my support, so, I'll allow you to get up whenever you wish to." Starscream mentally fisted the air in glee, finally!-

"-however you'll need to use a crutch." 

Somehow that sounded worse than being stuck in bed. 

"Ugh, doctor, it was only a minor inconvenience. Please don't burden me with something as humiliating as, as that!" Starscream moaned in frustration, pointing to the metal crutch that was stationed next to the desk. The seeker did not like the fact that Ratchet found enjoyment in him begging to not use the tool.

The Autobot hummed, eyeing the way Starscream struggled to stand just slightly.

"Fine, whatever you want,  _ Starscream. _ Follow me." Ratchet walked away casually while signalling for him to follow, as if he were sizing up the claim Starscream made.

He shrugged, and slowly followed the medic on weak heels.

They went to the back area of the medbay, the space which conjoined from both Knock Outs quarters and the medical wash area. Ratchet split the fork, and Starscream trudged into the washroom along with him.

"Your surface level damage has completely recovered, so I thought you would appreciate getting sorted up. You didn't exactly arrive on the cleanliness of terms." Starscream typically would've retorted back with another insult, but the medic did not lie, as he agreed with him.

He was absolutely filthy, and he could finally get that shower he'd been salivating over for the past whatever it had been since-

This part of the Nemesis was just as dark as the rest, however the very slick tiling that lined the walls and floor were extremely reflective, trapping light in them like a solar cage.

It wasn't damp at all, no-one had used the showers at all for a long while. Which surprised him, Knock Out couldn't stand being unclean for more than a klik, where was he doing his routinely wash if not here?

The medical washroom was the biggest and universally accepted nice washroom aboard the ship, besides Megatron's quarters, which he had the displeasure of seeing. It was nice being back here, even though all his memories within the medbay were painful ones.

Ratchet stood by one of the overhang faucets expectantly, which he complied to.

The singing of the oily water was music to his receptors. Instantly as the cool water hit his body, he sighed calmly.

It was a bit weird having the medic beside him, though only because he was a supposed enemy, a great one at that. Seekers commonly cleaned together, it was almost a tradition among trines family and mates.

Still, the looming idea remain in his peripheral vision as the water began to warm a little.

Ratchet began with the spinal center piece, the port that connected the wings to the rest of the system. One of the places he had a hard time reaching on his own.

Starscream's wings drooped as he absorbed the feeling of the dirtiness washing down the drain, Ratchet observed the behaviour curiously.

It was immensely ticklish as Ratchet scrubbed the sharp sponge across his neck and back of his head, back scrunching up and loosening simultaneously.

There was one weakness from him that Starscream was too shameful to admit even to himself. He  _ loved _ being touched.

Not necessarily in any intimate way, but the feeling of physical contact was easily the best way to subdue him into a passive state. Even the thrill of battle only got it's kick when he could fight off his enemy hand to hand.

It didn't even have to be from someone he cares about, they just had to know the right places to strike.

It wasn't a secret among Seekers that they liked it too, but somehow Starscream got it worse than the others, it felt that way at least.

Ratchet was a damn smart mech, Starscream wouldn't have been surprised if he'd already caught on to his oddly submissive reactions from the strokes of the sponge on his metal.

It was only fair the doctor clean the wings next, they were the most dirty. Ratchet's cleaning was entirely professional, somehow making Starscream relax more under the shower's spray.

His brows were aloof as the wings were swiped of their grime, not even stopping himself from sighing occasionally.

Eventually Ratchet stood parallel to Starscream in order to reach his chassis and such. 

Even though he stand about two heads over Ratchet, for some reason his presence was more overwhelming than he'd anticipated.

He averted his gaze to the side as the medic began washing up his chest plate, his spark beat weirdly in it's casing. The pain was minimal, mostly due to Ratchet being unbelievably gentle, but it was still noticeable.

The doctor was nothing but efficient, brushing up all the crevices and being careful with the more sensitive areas. It was still strange presenting himself like this.

"That should do it, you feeling okay?" Starscream reverted his optics again, Ratchet's own burned into his frame like a heated flame.

"Yes, I am fine."

The faucet was turned off, and Starscream instinctively shook himself like an avian, wings and all. Ratchet mumbled angrily at getting splashed, despite also being under the spray, which pleased the jet at being able to bring annoyance to him.

"Come, let's get you dried."

He was taken to the designated air blower of the washroom, which was more of a commodity as not all had the same equipment.

The box made a silly  _ shwoop! _ sound as the vacuum sucked all of the liquid off his body in one swift air blast, stepping out while stretching his limbs to their painful maximum.

Finally, he was refreshed after the absence of it. How nice it would be to fly without the muck of seven seas coating it.

Which, unfortunately, brought another thought to his mind.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, is something the matter?" Starscream tried to word it better, fumbling with his now clean digits.

"What's going to happen to me, after I recover?"

Ratchet was unnervingly silent as they walk back to the main medical room, the seeker eyeballed him with a tinge of worry, hearing a small sigh.

"I'm, unsure."

Starscream didn't expect more than that for now. Still.

He went back to his berth and had the most difficulty recharging since he arrived here. There definitely was a lot to think about.

  
  
  
  



	13. Gesture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone is confused cycles are equal to one earth day and orns are an hour :)  
> This chapter feels a bit filler but i have a terrible idea for the next one e.g. something bad happens to Starscream AGAIN stay tuned

He had been having a dilemma as of late.

Starscream received the go from Ratchet that he could walk around without assistance, in fact the medics were hardly in the medbay at this point anymore. So, horribly trustworthy of he.

He did not want to betray that, not yet at least. Healing was a lengthy process after all, and being back on the Nemesis would entail that he reap its benefits.

But, he could not bring himself to exit the bay.

There weren't any physical barriers preventing him from making that leap, yet he stared at the door for orns without doing a thing about it.

They hadn't said he  _ couldn't _ leave, but was it a good idea? Autobots might be patrolling the ship, and he isn't exactly on the friendliest of terms with them.

He wanted to go to his room once more, not having time in the rushed escape spiraling from the demise of their dear warlord, though he had the opportunity now.

So why didn't he take it?

Shockwave would have.

…

He was always assertive, acting more of the leader between the two of them.

…

Starscream fidgeted in his seat, an uncomfortable dread beginning to well.

What happened to Shockwave?

He had gone out to get the Energon formula because they were running low on reserves. That part made sense, though what Shockwave was up to was a mystery.

Was he still waiting for Starscream to return? Or had he lost faith in him coming back.

That last thought hurt, but it was the hard truth. Starscream  _ had _ failed to get the formula and was now spending his days getting coddled up by the Autobot medic, or medics if he dared include Knock Out.

Still, the looming feeling did not go away. He needed a resolve.

Shifting his optics around the empty medbay while listening for anything nonsensically, he opened up the private com he had for the scientist.

Luckily, his communications system hadn't been damaged in the injury, waiting to ping.

_ Shockwave. _

He pulsed through the silent com, no response.

_ Shockwave! _

It was a little more urgent this time, waiting a bit longer. Still nothing.

"Shockwave? Do you read?" 

He attempted audibly speaking through it, still no response besides the occasional muffle of static.

That left him worried, forgetfully so.

Anxiety welled up in him, and he got up and started pacing the room.

Surely there was a reasonable explanation for Shockwave's absence, he wouldn't just ignore him, that wasn't the cyclops' way, not stubborn like himself.

Shockwave was excellent at cube management and Energon statistics, and didn't mind running on extremely low power for large periods of time. But Starscream really didn't know how much time had passed.

Maybe he'd gone into stasis or something worse or-

Right, the stasis incubators. Remembering that science project lifted an invisible weight off his soul. Any smart mech would use them to conserve power.

However, that left him vulnerable to scraplets, or certain other beasts that roam Cybertron's crust. Being in stasis isn't exactly the most conscious thing to experience after all.

Who was he to worry about one of the smartest scientists in Cybertronian history, let alone a deadaft like Shockwave!

Still…

He ceased his pacing, standing in front of the door. Time to make that leap he'd been contemplating about.

The door was locked, making Starscream snort.

Of course the Autobots wouldn't dare be  _ that _ stupid.

  
  


-

  
  


"Doctor?"

"Yes?" Said both Knock Out and Ratchet simultaneously, causing them to glare bullets at each other.

Starscream did the fidgeting again, tapping his foot to the ground as he sat on the overused medical berth.

"How long have I been here exactly?"

Ratchet continued sorting the tools recently messed by the other medic, there seemed to be a positioning preference war between the two of them. 

Knock Out placed a digit on his pointed chin thoughtfully.

"Well, let's see. Since the time I saw you in the brig till now, it took you about seven to wake up-"

Seven orns?

"-so I'd say you've been here about twenty cycles."

Starscream gaped, his face contorting with a strange looking anger.

"T-Twenty cycles? I've been here for twenty cycles?" Knock Out huffed at the over-exaggeration from his once commander.

"It's not that long, it's certainly not the longest recuperation you've had, but we have the injury to prove it!" Said the red medic dismissively, and Starscream scoffed.

"That was before you had the Autobot to help you, who actually has a medical license unlike your forged aft!"

Ratchet perked up from his excessive sorting.

"You forged your medical license?" Knock Out chuckled at that, finding it funny that Ratchet didn't already understand his incompetence.

"I'm flattered you think I'm certified, but no, I'm not a real medic. Most of what I've learned has been from patching up old screamer here!"

Starscream huffed and folded his arms densely, Knock Out smiled at the show. Ratchet wasn't very amused by something unlawful like that, but he didn't dare say he was impressed out loud.

"Though, I must admit. The medical practises I did before I had a seeker test subject would make even a beginner med student want to tear their optics out." He said it rather dismissively too, surprising for something with such a pride as big as Starscream's, if not worse.

Ratchet spoke up, a new curious thread began to sew itself in his spark.

"Why would the amount of time bother you, surely you would've appreciated getting to stay away from Shockwave." Ratchet spoke rather genuinely, as if he was actually intrigued by the aspect.

"I cannot imagine him being a good houseguest, wherever you two stowed away."

Starscream met his optics to Ratchet's, with their gleaming blue they almost seemed surreal.

"Shockwave hasn't attempted to kill me if that is what you were implying." He paused for a moment.

"He's, actually not bad company, once you get used to him."

Knock Out perked a brow, because of course he would. Ratchet did have more personal experience with Shockwave from what he understood. The behemoth was polite when he needed to, aggressive when he wanted to, and a reputation to prove it. Even then, he hasn't hurt Ratchet unless Megatron wanted him to.

Now, without a Megatron to guide the scientist, Shockwave keeps his impulses at bay only for himself. Starscream knew what an angry Shockwave entailed, and he did not want to repeat that idea.

"Really now? I find it hard to believe he hasn't at least  _ attempted  _ to slag you over. No offense but he hates loud bots more than the planet's worst scraplet infestation." Knock Out didn't have much personal experience with the scientist, well, knowing that mech anything is possible. 

He'd not known him enough to know Shockwave's differences, and how things had changed.

"...things are different now, I suppose." It came out quieter then he'd intended, well there was the end of that.

…

He decided the silence was aggravating.

"Am I able to leave the med bay yet?"

Knock Out and Ratchet looked at each other with amusement, it did sound too childlike than he'd anticipated. Ratchet finally replied for their collective agreement.

"Yes, but you will need to be escorted."

He hated the way his wings perked up at the confirmation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love u guys thank you for sticking around my un betad thought bubble 😭😭


	14. Permission Granted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: medical things involving electricity and some non-violent but still unsettling descriptions of illness

"Is this really necessary?"

"Absolutely." Said a smiling Knock Out.

Starscream shrugged comically. The medic had put one cuff on his servo while attaching the other to the seeker's. Truly marvelous.

"You could at least use stasis cuffs rather then, this!" Exclaimed an upset Starscream, Knock Out chuckled at it dismissively.

"Now now Screamy, I thought you liked my company!" He couldn't tell if it was a trick question or not, so he just sighed and went with the ridiculous duel cuff idea.

"It wasn't exactly my idea either, the Autobots still don't fully trust me yet. I suppose this is their way for a final trial of my allegiance."

Starscream frowned as they began to walk out of the med bay.

"...You're still going with the whole Autobot schtick?" 

"Sorry dear Starscream, my mind has been made."

Starscream was about to shout a derogatory "traitor!" to Knock Out, but he stopped himself, and he was glad.

Really, the Decepticons were just him and Shockwave at this point, and that scientist's persuasion was not something he currently had in his grasp.

He realized at this moment that he could end the Decepticons forever if he defected.

Which is why he stay quiet as Knock Out pulled him around by the linking cuff.

Where they were headed? A place Starscream personally requested before he go mad from cabin fever.

It was interesting walking around these halls again, it hadn't been very long since he last done so, but now from a captive's perspective. And it was quiet as well, as if the ship was begging him to speak in order to fill the silence.

But, he learned against that. There was a time and place for everything.

It took a while before they made it to the top floor, or in other words the flight deck. Cybertron's air was dry and windless at the moment, but it was still air.

Starscream unknowingly pulled Knock Out with the cuff at the sight of sky, amusing the medic a bit.

"Ahh, finally some fresh air. Though Cybertron's skies are currently, lacking. What I would give to go for a drive back on that lovable mud-ball."

Starscream ignored his quip, staring up in solace as his wings shivered noticeably, trying to feel any sort of wind speckle his frame.

He pulled Knock Out along again, the medic already regretting the choice of restraints.

"Hey! You better not jump off the ledge and bring me with you, I'm not exactly built for flying you know!" Starscream played with that fantasy in his head.

"Hmm, tempting, but no. I just want to sit."

And there they stand, the edge of the ship, though not exactly. The nose of the vessel protruded further than the deck itself, like a mountain of technology.

You could still see Cybertron through the crevices of some of the taller buildings, taller than the Nemesis being quite a feat! 

Starscream's internal map pointed at a specific location, Shockwave's lab.

He stared at it for quite a while, trying to see if he could spot the entrance from his far viewing lenses.

He could hardly thanks to the bulge of the planet, but he noticed a building that was close by the laboratory, barely sticking up in his vision.

"Whatcha looking at Screamy?"

Starscream stunned himself out of his observation to look at the smug medic, who already seemed to understand at what he was viewing.

"I really despise that nickname, _doctor._ " Knock Out's smile became less full of it and more gracious.

"Now see, you can't come back with that retort because I like it when people call me doctor, it very boosts my ego!"

"You're insufferable."

"You're beautiful."

Starscream groaned, making Knock Out laugh obnoxiously loud.

"Why is every little thing that comes out of your mouth an insult or an innuendo!?" 

"You don't think I'm being genuine?"

"..can we go back inside now?"

Knock Out rolled his optics, very much so. Starscream wouldn't admit he found the medic to be one of the most entertaining bots around. A much more different kind of company from Shockwave, but it was a nice change of pace.

The doctor held his hand to stop him from yanking the cuffs around. It seemed to work.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"Why are there fleshies in here?!"

Said Starscream pointing a restrained servo at the human children who were gathered up on one of the consoles.

Knock Out led him into the control deck, probably to torture him in some way. Only four Autobots, Ultra Magnus over the main console, a Wheeljack sitting next to the kids with a Smokescreen beside him, and a Bulkhead moving crates full of unknown items around.

And only two humans this time, the little one and the annoying one. He wondered where the eldest was.

"Why are you here screamer?! Shouldn't you be in robot jail by now?" Said the loudest of the group, the one called Miko. The seeker scoffed, placing the side of his free hand on his chest to slack his long digits. Bulkhead pried with concern.

"Miko.."

"I, robot jail?! What am I, a refrigerator? I'll let you know that-"

"Didn't ya hear?" 

Starscream looked over to Wheeljack, nonchalantly polishing his swords while somehow making it seem threatening only to him.

"Screamer blew himself up with Energon, I'm sure it was as stupid as it sounds."

He lifted his non-existent nose in the air at that, though looking back, the fiasco was more embarrassing than he'd like to let on. Knock Out winced barely, Starscream only noticed because their hands were still interlocked by the obnoxious cuffing.

"It's not my fault I didn't know I would be in a firefight! Surely your _rookie_ is quite aware of that." Smokescreen shifted uncomfortably, the tension had began. The medic laughed humourlessly.

"Settle down Starscream, you know it was entirely your fault for igniting the Energon."

"Hmph, whatever." Starscream was surprised with himself that he did not argue much.

The humans, or human if you only counted Miko, gave a completely befuddled look at the conversation, after having no context with it. The smaller one was curiously examining the terminal, which worried Starscream that he may break it somehow.

"So, you're like a prisoner or something? Or are you a good guy now?"

"Miko, it's probably not a good idea to rile up the Decepticon-"

"Come on, I was just asking questions!" Ultra Magnus, Rafael and Smokescreen pay attention with minimal interest, it was rather hard to ignore a Decepticon, and Starscream especially at that.

Starscream rolled his optics at the human and mechs bickering about nonsense, beginning to drown it out for no apparent reason.

Knock Out tugged on the cuff a little, as if wanting them to leave. The seeker understood.

As he was about to comply and walk with his accomplice, something didn't, feel right.

He stared at the ground shallowly with wide optics, trying to figure out what felt wrong, like a single gear that refused to connect.

"Starscream? Will we go?" Knock Out spoke with his usual tone, observing Starscream's behaviour carefully.

No, no something definitely was off.

Starscream clenched once internally, then visibly, something was starting to hurt, still staring at that spot on the ground.

"Hey, Screamer?"

Knock Out's voice was now concerned, drawing eyes from his deminear.

He pinpointed it, his chassis hurt. No, the inside of his chassis hurt. Not normal stinging pain, it wasn't normal at all.

"Come on, this isn't funny anymore.."

His optics began widening and contracting randomly, something in his chest had stopped moving. For the briefest of moments, he felt a cool chill wisp his body away. And then, searing white hot pain.

Starscream instantly put both servos to the center of his chassis, bringing Knock Out's to as well. He began wheezing without drawing in breathes, the metal plating there contracting madly with each ruse.

"Starscream, will you speak to me? What's happening?"

Starscream opened his clenched optics to see Knock Out's absurdly worried face. Spitting out a retort at the doctor's annoying blabbering.

"Will you stop talki-"

He couldn't finish the sentence before he dropped, knees giving out, Knock Out following with a clang.

His wings flew and then rose uncharacteristically, heaving madly while his servos clenched his chest even though there was nothing there.

Knock Out was about to rile once more before he made a decided effort, and pulled up a com link.

"R-Ratchet, please come quick, something is wrong with Starscream!"

Ratchet had received after being in the medical bay still, where he last was.

_On my way, do you know what happened?_

"No, he just, collapsed in front of me! Bring a defibrillator or something, hurry!"

Knock Out strained his voice until it cracked on that note, that dreaded worry seeping into him again most likely.

Starscream still remain kneeling, his head close to the floor as he doubled over in pain. The Autobots remain dumbfounded at the sight, but Knock Out turned to one of them.

"Magnus, uncuff me!" The commander was startled by the sudden request.

"I can't do that without Optimus' permission-

"Please, I can only perform miracles with free servos, _sir!"_

Magnus sighed, contemplating his options.

"Alright, but this have better not be a trick."

"Wouldn't dream of it commander."

Ultra Magnus strutted carefully past the seeker and unlocked the cuffs with a key attached to his makeshift hand.

Knock Out flexed his servos a bit, glad they were now free, only to turn back to the one before him.

Ratchet arrived with the klik, carrying a rectangular container with him. He eyed around until he spotted the seeker wheezing harshly on the ground.

The human children watched with interest as Knock Out lay Starscream on the metal floor, the flyer still clenching up at every turn, always keeping a palm on the Decepticon symbol.

Ratchet watched as he opened the package, wires a plenty attached to a large slate.

"He must be fluxing, Knock Out make sure you hold him still." Knock Out nodded, everyone staring shamefully at the scene unfolding.

"Fluxing, what's that?" Asked a young Rafael. Bulkhead carefully picked up the kids, one reluctant to stop, and moved them further away.

"Please don't look, especially you Miko..."

Starscream's chest spasmed as he couldn't carry out a single proper intake, servos shaking horribly.

"Starscream, I'm gonna need you to move your servos off your chest."

The seeker barely opened his eyes to register the request, however complying. Slowly, he moved the arms away, planting them tightly at each side.

The Autobot medic took the defillibators and placed them on each side of Starscream's chest, who was hardly paying attention anymore. The other medic cupped Starscream's head as of means to comfort him, holding down the top half of the chassis by the neck lines to keep him steady. Knock Out found himself whispering nothing comforts to the seeker.

Ratchet shouted 'clear!' After the machine had readied, pressing down the electrical current, making Starscream's body jump up.

Observing for a moment, Starscream still responded the same, sparkpulse still completely spastic, the current hadn't worked.

Another waiting game, and Ratchet rang again as the defibrillator pulsed through and Starscream's body shot up. It still had no affect.

"It's not working doctor!" Knock Out began to hyperventilate, if Cybertronians could do that.

"I know, we have to keep trying!"

Again he tried, it hadn't worked. Again, and again.

Starscream's spark just wasn't working!

Knock Out felt like he were to break down again, just like the last time they operated on the seeker. It had worked then, why wasn't it working now?

Ratchet stared carefully, trying to figure it out in his head.

Suddenly, in a quip of thought, the medic began putting the defibrillator back, making Knock Out scowl.

"What are doing? You can't just give up on him!"

"We're not giving up. Knock Out, open his chassis."

Knock Out was too far gone in his concern to question the order, looking down to the still alive and still awake Starscream, heaving as always.

"Starscream, I'm gonna need you to open your chassis, can you do that?"

Said Starscream opened his optics into little slits, in too much discomfort to care.

"I c-can-t d-"

"Please, I need you to open it!"

They stared at each other, and Starscream began to cry gently.

In a swift movement, the casing of his chassis swept to the side, revealing his recently repaired spark chamber and other goodies.

Ratchet instantly got to work, shifting around with the container and pulling out too large jumper cables, placing each one on the major bottom arteries connecting to the outer spark.

"A-Are you out of your fragging mind? That kind of direct voltage will kill him!"

"And it is the only thing that will save him!"

Knock Out didn't have any better ideas, so he begrudgingly went with it, watching the cables snap in place.

Ratchet carried a switch next to him, connected to the high voltage cables.

"I warn you, this part will _really_ hurt."

That was the only warning Starscream got before the jumpers activated, and the room filled with a bright blue light.

Electricity shot out directly into Starscream's spark, and besides the static of electrons in the air, the only thing that could be heard was the seeker's Energon curdling scream.

Even if the humans wanted to watch, couldn't or would be blinded by the horrific zapping invading his systems.

Eventually, Ratchet had to stop the current, and the jumpers ceased with a deep hiss.

The Decepticon's eyes were wide open with shock, threatening to roll to the back of his head.

The Autobot medic checked his pulse counter, and sighed in relief.

Starscream didn't have time to celebrate his survival before he succumbed to the pain and fainted on the spot.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I just can't resist  
> (This will have plot relevance later i swear)


	15. Bolted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels so filler to me bleh- get on with the show I say!- As I direct the script
> 
> More inaccurate descriptions of medical things because i operate on neither bot nor bod

Knock Out too felt like he were to pass out after the events unfolded.

An intense relief did initially blanket over him comfortably, seeing Ratchet calm from checking the unexpected patient's sparkpulse meter.

The comfort was refreshing, so much so that it hurt.

They "escorted" Starscream's limp frame out of the command deck, he was definitely heavier than he looks. Leaving the room with a temporary dread and confusion.

Why had the seeker just, collapsed out of nowhere? Surely it couldn't have been a side effect from his speedy recovery? Knock Out didn't remember a single time Starscream fluxed or made a spectacle like that, unless to try and get the boss to feel sorry for him.

Now there was no Megatron to roll his optics at the manipulative and bratty Decepticon, there was no one Starscream needed to harm himself for.

The little human, Rafael he was called, wanted to know what happened most out of everyone else in the room. Not particularly out of concern, but curiosity. The physician grinned at the idea that he would make an excellent evil scientist, too bad the human was too genuine for that.

Ratchet was stubborn, of course, saying it's dangerous this and I can't expose you that. Unfortunately for the Autobot doctor, Rafael was also stubborn when it came to knowledge.

Knock Out would admit, for a little vermin that human was rather intelligent, especially for being a sparkling. And he was kind of cute when he pleaded with those puppy eyes.

Apparently Ratchet thought so too because he sucked it up and allowed the kid to come along to the med bay.

But he refused Miko, to which she stuck her tongue out at him with exaggerated puffed up cheeks, a very comical gesture he'd seen in movies. Ratchet could make excuses about how the femme human would be a disturbance to Starscream's health, but everyone knew he would just be annoyed by the constant questions the girl brought out.

None of them made a sound as they walked, not even little Rafael made even a peep as he held on to Ratchet's shoulder, the two medics hoisting Starscream like he was floating on an invisible stretcher.

Setting him down on the central gurney of the medical bay, Knock Out instantly got to work hooking him back up on the familiar machinery, the other set Raf down on the side table gently, already fascinated by the scene.

"So, what's fluxing?" And already asked a question too.

Ratchet processed his answer as he observed the vital monitor to see if it functioned properly, and if his patient functioned properly as well.

"It's, a biological error among Cybertronians. It's generalized as fluxing when the spark appears to be 'not working' properly, I'd get into the specific cause but I don't wish to bore you-" the doctor looked back down to see the pleading eyes of Rafael, of course he wouldn't be uninterested.

"Fine. It typically occurs when one or more of the main Energon lines next to the spark chamber reroutes suddenly, or stops all together. Sometimes this happens in other Energon lines but those are usually caused by physical injuries, which can clot the direct current." Explained Ratchet, the human giving his unwavering attention.

"That kind of sounds like cardiac arrest." That confused the medic a bit.

"Do explain?"

"Well, it's a human condition when blood flow to your heart suddenly stops. The way Starscream reacted reminded me a lot of how a human reacts to having a heart attack. Sometimes it just happens to people randomly."

Ratchet took in this new info, researching silently on the web, which surprised Knock Out despite him not knowing either, all the while checking his patient's system and rolling an amplifier over Starscream's abused chassis.

"Well, human and Cybertronian systems are very similar despite us being so different. Two legs two arms, a universal standard among species.

"Unlike human conditions, Cybertronian symptoms and ailments don't just  _ happen _ . Our internal systems are built for perfection, spark fluxing seemed to disprove that for so long. But the idea of using the human anatomy as a reference for the unknown is not actually a bad idea."

Ratchet paused, still thinking of his options with a scrunched look on his face.

"However, this specific scenario, I fear the worst has come to fruition."

Knock Out looked at the medic nervously, what did he mean by that?

"Starscream's spark chamber was damaged, and fixed. But it is a small possibility that he did not come out as unscathed as we thought."

The deceptive physician's brows shifted, Raf looked precariously between the two mechs, a strange tension now forming, feeling the need to speak.

"What does that mean, this isn't like the T-Cog thing is it?" Ratchet shook his head at that, but not in a simplifying way, dread now spreading out of his field.

"No, Rafael, this might be worse. Having the inside of a mech's spark chamber be damaged would be enough to cause these symptoms, but if shrapnel or a misstep in surgery were to occur, the fluxing may be a permanent fixture. A damaged T-Cog can be fixed, but a damaged spark? Fixing that would be a farfetched dream."

The nervous red mech looked to the Autobot and back to an unconscious Starscream, listening and watching with the metal device on the seeker's chassis, accompanied by a brand new family of wires.

"W-well let's not get all doom and gloom about this! I'm sure Starscream's spark is fine, it seems normal enough right now, maybe it's just an inconvenience of his recovery?"

The mood became more sad after that, as if Knock Out knew that his hope would only end up hurting him later on. Ratchet implored however, this would not go unsolved.

"Knock Out, open up his chassis and spark chamber, I want a closer look." Said Ratchet, already removing some wires after they acquired enough data. Knock Out reeled though, he thought only the recipient could open their own spark chamber?

"Uhh, how do I do that?" 

"By accessing his direct network."

"That's something you can do?!"

Ratchet was about to shout at Knock Out for the bad joke before realizing he was being one hundred percent serious.

"Of course, that's something only Med school graduates can do, move over!"

The stubborn Autobot switched sides with the physician, who was now standing by Rafael who nonchalantly waved at him, making Knock Out's insides stutter a bit. It was like the child didn't think him as an enemy anymore.

Ratchet tilted Starscream's head to the side to gain more access, and transformed his servo into a very unsettling needle like appendage, reminiscent of something Shockwave would make.

Knock Out stared in contemplation before realizing Ratchet had stabbed an open helm port with the needle, making the physician verbally recoil, blocking his faceplates with pointed servos. How did the human not flinch at that?

The doctor's optics were blank as he collected data from the helm's medical port, silent and unmoving as the first firewall was dispersed for his accessibility.

"Let's see here, I may as well run a diagnostic while we're at it."

A quiet thrum was heard, and Knock Out found himself weirded out by the fact that Starscream's optics were offline and open, occasionally a little red dot would light on the optic screening. As if signaling that a medic was intruding his systems, an Autobot nonetheless.

It made Knock Out wish he'd actually studied for this kind of thing, how useful it would have been to have a medic's powers. A Physician's skills were the biggest known secret on Cybertron.

"Systems are normal, the recovery stage is nearly over so only a little tiredness. No physical ailments besides the electrical burns, we'll have to get that checked. And his spark chamber is, fine. I don't understand what could have gone wrong for him to flux so violently."

Knock Out watched with intrigue and a tinge of unknown coursed through him, the little human was sitting on a bot sized wrench, seeming captivated by the way Starscream's optic beeped silently with that tiny red light.

"I'll open his chassis now."

Just after saying that, the metal slid by in a nanosecond, showing the charred insides once more, the physician observed cautiously, he'd seen enough in his life to not be too phased by it.

Ratchet's optics brightened again to look if it was successful, seeing that it was he immediately blanked out again into Starscream's processor.

"Next is the spark chamber, tell me if anything goes wrong."

The Autobot seemed a bit hesitant to do so, and Knock Out understood, but he equally wanted to figure out what was wrong with the downed seeker, he  _ needed _ to find the key.

With a drawn out hiss, the crevices and locks of the spark chamber opened, like puzzle pieces being taken apart with a strange gentleness. Knock Out couldn't help but take a part of the Human's interest and stare at the transformation, it  _ never _ got old, no matter how many times he took witness.

Just as the rivets cascaded behind the spark to show its full glory, one piece did not follow the rest, and was stuck behind another, refusing to click with its family. Knock Out panted out a sigh of relief, thank goodness it was just an alignment error.

"I believe we have found our problem doctor."

Ratchet exited his standby mode and removed his servo from Starscream's medical port, once again ready for duty. Peering down into the seeker's chest cavity he too felt the smallest percentage of relief, as well as confusion.

"Huh, that's much more simple of an answer then I would have expected. I'm worried as to why the monitor didn't pick that up."

The Autobot medic leaned down to give a closer examination to the misaligned spark chamber corner, careful not to touch the spark accompanying it. It really was a very obvious wronging in his frame, protruding out of the rest of the spark chamber casing just slightly.

"Fixing that will be a very delicate procedure, but a quick and again, quite simple one. I trust you have more gentle servos then me?" Said Ratchet who was already preparing himself with a penlight. Before Knock Out could make his exemplary innuendo for the day, Ratchet interrupted.

"Don't say anything. Let's make this efficient and swift, his spark shouldn't be exposed much longer." Rafael tilted his head as though he wanted to further question that new statement, but he remain well-spoken and would wait until after.

Knock Out grabbed a pair of very small and sharp tongs, not usually the kind of tool he would prefer but it was perfect for this specific job. Using his rotary saw on anyone's spark chamber, let alone Starscream's, would probably not end desirably. 

Ratchet held the light over the misplaced piece, Starscream's spark provided enough light externally but it didn't cover all ground needed. He held the backing in place with his own metal forceps, allowing Knock Out enough room to slide his into place.

It was slow starting, Knock Out became stressed even after only a few kliks of carefully moving the pliers to the chamber wall. He'd hoped Ratchet would give further instructions because he was starting his slope. The pliers touched and then gently grasped the protrusion.

"Good, now, as carefully as you can, place it into the visible backing with the other chamber locks." Knock Out saw the backing, easing his stride a bit in confidence. Starscream's spark fluttered even in his sleep.

He began moving, paying attention with such precision just to make sure he didn't accidentally break anything with an unsightly movement.

Knock Out almost jumped back when he swore he felt Starscream move.

Unfortunately, his little thought creep was about to become a reality.

"Ratchet? Please don't tell me he's waking up…" Knock Out wasn't very happy when all he got from the medic was a shocked and frustrated face.

Ratchet held the light still, worry spreading harshly over his field, desperate for Knock Out to hurry it up.

Knock Out though couldn't force himself to rush the procedure, he didn't wanna hurt Starscream because of his recklessness. But he  _ couldn't  _ stop now, not when he was so close.

That didn't help much at all when he looked up to find wide red optics looking right at him.

Well, this day certainly couldn't get any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune into next chapter where nothing bad happens


	16. From Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's out already. I want to further along the plot but there's only so much human (or robot) suffering you can write before you get blanked out. After this chapter, ill make some more "happy" stuff, but no promises 👀
> 
> Feedback is appreciated :)

Those optics stared straight forward with a horrid fear looking underneath them, Knock out remain as still as the unliving.

Starscream didn't make a sound, only watching from his short distance, noticing that his chassis was propped open and shivered slightly. It was nerveracking for everyone. Ratchet took the penlight out and carefully took a step back.

"Whatever you do,  _ don't move _ ."

Knock Out complied to that just fine, but he was worried of the one underneath his servos, who was beginning his enlightenment on what was going on.

The Autobot quietly scooted over, back to the seeker's helm, transforming his servo into that syringe again, making Starscream whimper at the sight.

He was surprised by Starscream's lack of words, too shocked to think of anything to say most likely. Even then, the quiet was absolutely dreadful to go through within the Decepticon's company.

"This will feel strange for a moment." Said the doctor before plunging the needle into the medical port once again.

Starscream's eyes widened as if he were to shout, only for his optics offline and go back into the stasis-like mode, that red dot flashing dimly in his once bright eye. His spark did not slow, Knock Out still remain delirious.

"Is he out of it?" Asked him quietly, as if there were audials he was not aware of. Ratchet shook his head with equal reticence.

"Within this state, Starscream cannot move, see, or feel sensation. He can hear us loud and clear however." Knock Out swore he could hear Starscream shrug angrily at that, despite being downed as the dead. Even in stasis the seeker couldn't hide his emotions very well.

"Well, can't you just put him back into recharge? I can't imagine this is pleasant for him."

"Doing so would activate his recharge safety line, closing his spark chamber with your servo inside it, possibly damaging it further than it already has been." The racer grimaced at the thought, but then again, this wasn't as bad as the last time they'd operated on him. All Starscream had to suffer through was their ugly banter.

Knock Out scrunched his faceplates, looking back down to his half finished work. With Ratchet's hand current implanted into Starscream's processor, he would have to handle it alone.

Carefully he weaved around the chamber wall pieces with his lone own, without the additional light it was a near blind attempt.

"How could I have been so stupid to not administer anesthetic? Nobody would wake until next sunrise after those shocks."

Knock Out didn't have the luxury to roll his optics at the medic's perpetual shame, busy playing operation with the chamber bolt with his miniature pliers.

"I suppose you were right about him being stubborn." Said Ratchet with that same regret. Knock Out had to lift himself from the open chassis to admire this weird side of the doctor, was he even aware of it?

After all, the only thing Ratchet got in reply was the gentle flashing of the red light within his optic.

"Now now, don't talk about Screamy like he isn't in the room with us. He absolutely  _ hates _ that." Replied Knock Out, cowering his worry in his humour.

Ratchet stuttered and mumbled a bit, now knowing his well-sown flaw after a bit of thinking. He too was deep within Starscream's surface level processor. Even a medic was incapable of going into the mind of anyone without their undying resolve.

He was almost done, the kliks going by as his vision was swamped by the glow of Starscream's spark glistening over the necessary handiwork.

Knock Out sighed, and with utmost care, snapped the chamber piece back into place. It was a sickening sound, making him almost reflex away in fear of what he had created. But, it was correct. The chamber walls were aligned in their open positioning behind the spark, Starscream was safe.

The tension evaporated in an instant, and Knock Out dropped his pliers on to the desk with a clank, making a hiding human startle.

He dizzily wobbled up into a proud stand, venting different than usual.

"I think I'm going to go recharge now."

With that, he walked off tiredly, leaving Ratchet and Rafael to their own with the estranged Decepticon.

The human was hiding behind a desktop system, observing carefully after the knowledge that Starscream might have woken up.

But now, it seemed much more unusual then that.

"Why did Knock Out leave like that?" But even Raf could not know things he had not seen.

"I imagine, this has been incredibly taxing on him."

Ratchet shuttered his optics, focusing to close the spark chamber and chassis, happy that no complications occurred. Knock Out really  _ had _ done it.

Removing his pointed servo from the helm port, Starscream immediately shot up and put a hand to his chest, stilled like ice.

"You could have at least told me you were going to sift a servo in my spark chamber!" His exaggeration was an appreciated change of tone, but Ratchet wasn't in the mood for it.

"I will admit, that is a fault of mine. But we couldn't risk you waking up all while knowing there was something inside you that could make you flux at any moment." Starscream grumbled at that, apparent that he was trying to find a reason to be angry.

"Ugh, Knock Out could've at least cleaned the ash, it feels sickening on my circuits." He moaned out the complaint, making a nerve inside Ratchet crackle.

"He needs his rest. Anything involving you is tiresome."

"I don't care about how he feels about me, it's the shocking my spark that I'm upset about."

"Starscream…"

"And WHY is that human here!" He pointed to the Rafael who was leaning behind the desktop, only to hide further around, concealing himself fully.

"He wished to learn more about us and our ailments." Ratchet's patience was beginning to run dry.

"Like a human would ever understand, even Knock Out can't get a grip on common decency."

" _ Starscream… _ "

"I'm surrounded by a bunch of bumbling bafoons who don't care about my wellbeing! How dare he not-"

" _ STARSCREAM _ !"

The seeker looked back up to Ratchet, at attention in fear of the shout he'd made. The doctor glared down at his patient for a while, before sighing and giving up a portion of his anger to his voice.

"Do you realize, if Knock Out wasn't with you? Do you realize if he never called me when you collapsed?"

Ratchet's optics seethed with anger and determination, Starscream glared with a dwindling come back, uncertainty. He was so damn tired after everything he'd done.

"You would have died, you were about to die right in front of our optics. If your spark vanished with us, Knock Out would never forgive himself.

"He's been nothing but grateful that you're still with us, and willing to give up everything to fight for your wellbeing. Isn't that enough for you?"

Starscream's will diminish, finding it difficult to fight back. He looked back pitifully, seeming to have a fight inside his own processor with the weird way his eyes flickered.

Ratchet wasn't finished however, the seeker needed to listen for once.

"Look. You've only been through slagin' pit and back since you arrived here, to disregard your suffering would go against everything the Autobots stand for. 

"But maybe it's time you finally suck up your pride and begin to understand that you're not the only mech who feels pain."

The seeker could do nothing but stare, a frown had formed unknowingly on his faceplates. He had been nice to Knock Out, he always was! Starscream didn't understand why the medic thought that way, only angry about his feelings.

He was Knock Out's friend, he always was! 

Then, why did he feel so wrong inside…?

"A friend? He only keeps me around because there is no one left for him. I'm all he has now." Starscream intended for it to sound derogatory, cruel to further his breaking argument. It only made him clench up sadly, an awful unbridled feeling boiling in his Energon.

Thinking that only furthered the doctor's point, Knock Out really  _ did _ care for him.

Ratchet could have responded with an obvious retort, but this was a moment he could not abandon.

Not only Knock Out, but Shockwave too. He'd taken advantage of their kindness to him, when he'd been nothing but a cowardly scumbag. He had believed that his life was on an impenetrable string, that somehow his will and luck was what kept him going.

But really, it was the people in his life that had hope in him.

Even Megatron didn't give up on him, despite his treachery and snide plans to overthrow the crown.

Even when they hated him for all his worth, they still had hope for him. Something he never shared the same.

Starscream's optics warbled a bit, a manic shiver went down his spine. He felt like he was going to purge.

Ratchet observed cautiously,  _ something _ was going on in the seeker's head, just unsure as to what. The stutters probably weren't good, wings drooped deathly low.

A while of the insistent panic that seemed to bubble within Starscream, he slowed, intook shallowly. Like he had soft rebooted his emotions to a halt.

"You know how much I hate admitting being wrong."

He spoke it with a strange sort of solace, as if his voice were to give up at any moment.

"You're right, doctor."

Ratchet widened his optics a tad, remaining unsurprised by this acceptance.

"I, I loath to be like this, like an emotional Autobot whelp. Knock Out knows that most out of everyone. Yet, he brings that out of me time and time again.

"To watch him on the brink of insanity, and do nothing, that is a mistake I will never make again. For anyone for that matter.

"That, stupid doctor was always there for me. Even now he has saved my life with no explanation. It felt so normal to have him help me with nothing in return.

"I, I don't know what to do doctor…"

Starscream inexplicably, felt very fatigued. Speaking from the spark was a pain he didn't want to relive again. Ratchet watched with a saddened gaze, the undoing of a mech so twisted by spite and lies right beside he.

The medic sighed, he wasn't built for this thing. Despite how it made his spark twist in regret.

"You could say thank you."

  
  
  
  



	17. Phantom Sensation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I did it finally! Willed it up to start the next event of the story and, well, you'll see 👀

They awkwardly walked along in the Nemesis' halls again. For some reason, Knock Out didn't feel the tension that he did.

Ratchet was the one who was most worried about Starscream's condition, almost certain that an alignment error couldn't have been the sole reason for him to flux so violently.

He researched, recorded, asked many questions, seeming to sweep away his words under the rug for another time. Not in the way Starscream had taken them. He felt different, and not because of his injuries.

Ratchet explained this to that human as well, if an unknowable accident or rupture had happened to his spark it could be near unidentifiable, yet the symptoms would possibly remain. The child seemed shaken by Ratchet's outburst, but even then absorbed the anomalous information like succulent candy.

It was a small chance, Starscream didn't think it was likely, but the Autobot didn't appreciate the risk, and gave the seeker a portable sparkpulse monitor. And he  _ hated _ it.

It was a small black and flat device that was fixed to the top-right side of his chassis. The disproportion was killing him, but that wasn't the most annoying thing about it. The device had a small but very visible screen on it with the numbers, as if Ratchet had put special consideration into his displeasure.

Though, he could hardly blame the doctor. If his words didn't have truth, something else would.

There was a separate piece that was placed on his neck as well, less invasive in nature but Starscream so desperately wanted to scratch it with his talons at how awkward it felt on his Energon line.

A little black monitor wouldn't hurt him though, but he did occasionally find his servo covering it whenever he was around others.

Like now, in fact.

Knock Out didn't use the cuffs anymore, no restraints for that matter. The amount of trust he put into the seeker was infuriating, but he did not say much about that, it wasn't something he wanted to appear to be taking for granted.

It was completely silent as they paced the dark halls, and for once, Starscream found himself more fatigued than the red physician.

Fortunately or not, it wouldn't stay that way.

"Soooo… any specific reason you wanna check your room out?" Said Knock Out, his voice relaxed while in question.

They simply kept walking, Starscream's optics found their way to the ground, dimly. The doctor stared, a little confused by his dismissal.

"Hellooo, Screamy? You in there?"

Starscream hummed and perked up, aroused from a daze he didn't know he was experiencing. Even then, all he did was stare back.

Knock Out seemed, sad. Not so obvious with his little grin, but the doctor's optics held a worry beyond words in them. It only made Starscream feel worse about what he'd done. And how he could never bring himself to apologize.

"I'm fine."

They stopped at the door after kliks of meandering, Knock Out unlocked it for the seeker and there was no wisp of cool air brushing out of the frame. Just distilled, dry air that was left alone for quite some time. Home.

The medic eyed the room a bit while Starscream walked in carefully. It was his first time seeing the second in command quarters, at least Starscream hoped that was the case. It was clean, no dust after being airlocked tight, not a thing was out of place. 

Except, there was an Energon cube on the ground next to the hard berth, it must have fallen off at some point. It was empty, as if there wasn't any Energon in there in the first place.

"Huh, I expected this place to be bigger."

Knock Out sweeped his optics around carelessly, Starscream felt like he should have scoffed, or shrugged at least. For some reason it felt better to stay silent at the retort.

He vented in deeply, his room did not smell unique, not anymore at least. Just another doorway among the thousands on this titanic ship. Being so simple made Starscream feel safer in a way he hated to admit

"Surely Megatron would have given his second a much more spacious quarters, everyone knows about your claustrophobia." His wings kneaded a bit in their ports, he had time to speak now.

"You get used to it, doctor. There is nowhere on this vessel that doesn't make you feel trapped."

Knock Out hummed, but did not proceed on that quota. Starscream strutted to his desk, the largest piece of "furniture" that resided in his room. There weren't any holopads on the platform, all stored away in the drawers on either side. 

There was an electronic frame containing a picture, he had turned it off a long time ago. That wasn't what he was looking for anyhow.

Opening one of the desktop drawers, he shuffled around with a bunch of doodads and useless gadgets, setting his servo on something flat and pulled out.

He subconsciously blew on the holopad he discovered to fan away the dust that was not there. Knock Out circled behind him at the sight, intrigued slightly by the mysterious booklet.

"That what you came here for?"

"No, actually. I just wanted to be here again, it  _ has _ been a while since I last slept a normal night on that berth."

Knock Out rolled his optics, considering that it was just another white-lie by the seeker, but for once he did not act as the silvertongue. Starscream needed to remind himself of some things, his room had many checkpoints in that regard. He needed to be reminded of what it was like to be a Decepticon.

Turning on the pad, the blue LEDs of the screen lit up dimly. Starscream smiled after finding out the document was from one of his Teachers in University, his class grades.

He never got the chance to graduate, the war made sure of that. But one of his teachers stuck by his side despite his overall dismay. Skids was a bit of a nut, but a damn smart scientist if he'd ever seen one.

Skids wrote the note for Starscream, there wasn't exactly any specific reason as to why, it was attached to one of his assignment gradings which just made it more peculiar.

_ "The tension around here has been growing forever. Whatever you do, I'm sure he will be proud of you!" _

Now, looking back at the letter again, filled him with a dim sadness. He didn't want to throw it out, it was too valuable for that, but reading it always gave him a helm-ache.

It was only a few vorns later after that assignment was completed that Iacon fell victim to an attack and, well, you can guess what happened next. Starscream wouldn't have been surprised if Skids was still out there somewhere, torturing some poor alien life with his baking soda volcano experiments.

Though, should he ever keep his hopes up, it would only end in more anguish. Skyfire gave hope a more horrific meaning.

Starscream shook his helm gently, it wasn't the time for nostalgia. 

Then again, what he had hoped to accomplish by being here was loose on both ends. There weren't many positive things about his life as a Decepticon, even if he is now their leader. "Their", not many of them were left anyhow.

He shut the pad off with a hard click, and softly began to place it back into its drawer, only for something to occur.

Frozen, he felt a cold, ghost like sensation shiver through his body, like there was a servo placed on his shoulder made entirely out of air.

Quickly he turned around, only to see Knock Out a few meters away, examining his claws while not paying attention to the seeker at all. He seemed entirely perplexed.

_ Strange _ , that was the first thought he had in mind, but the otherworldly feeling remained, fixated close to his neck plating. His nerves rattled, maybe it was just the temperature, the door had been left open after all?

The ghost's palm left him alone, and Starscream breathed an unknown sigh of relief, rousing Knock Out from his mind field.

The medic didn't say anything, just the rustling of metal could be heard as he looked over to the weird seeker. Seeing as nothing was off, went back to slouching into admiring his fine digits.

Starscream shut the drawer and moved over to his berthside, there was another picture frame. This one though, the cold glass of the windowing was cracked, the picture was turned off as well. He did not remember that being there, though it reminded him of his angry bouts. It wasn't unlikely to think he had destroyed it.

But it was still active, turning on the frame proved so and Starscream was greeted with a photo of them.

He couldn't find the will to smile down at the image of his trine, as much as he wanted to. Starscream got over them at this point, they were nothing more than an agonizing memory, but that wouldn't mean they would be forgotten.

It was troubling to think that he may be the only one still living that remembers them.

Again, placing down the frame left him more dissatisfied than happy. There were plenty of things within his helm that could only be brought back through reminders like those.

He keened, only to shiver again, that phantom sensation was back.

It was different this time, resting on his spine like the chilliest of nights on a tundra planet. He should have been concerned, or frightened by the horror that filled him, yet it was all to familiar to disregard.

The ghost's palm grabbed his spark, a series of chills circulated through his frame. That definitely wasn't normal at all.

"I-It's rather cold in here is it, Knock Out?"

The doctor looked up, raising a brow just slightly under the ruse of confusion.

"Not particularly, you really should build thicker plating if that's the case Screamy!" Starscream finally chalked a scoff at the joke, humour in his most disconcerting of hours.

It really did feel as if there was a wispy and smokey current inside his body, almost if not identical to the sensation you get when you are sure you're being watched.

He looked to his many drawers, stocked with holopads and other documents, and back to the door. It looked more inviting to leave instead of coming in. But, at the same time, the dread he felt was almost, alluring.

Slowly, he clenched his hand as if he were holding another servo in it, his spark slowed. Coming to his room seemed like a sound plan, but now he realised there was more strife and bad memories here than useful tactitioning and layouts.

Perhaps another time he would, but for now, his shackled circuitry begged him to leave the confines, speaking ahead of his processor for once.

He asked Knock Out if they could leave, to which the medic moaned and complained about his poor decision making. Starscream was confused at how Knock Out did not feel the tension that he did.

Perhaps another time, but for now, his fear ruled out his better judgement. A fear of the unknown, and how desirable it looked, like a baited hook.

The ghost did not follow him, not yet at least, feeling a strange emptiness and relief at how warm the ship felt suddenly.

Another time, he would go back.

  
  



	18. Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for slightly innuendos themes in this chapter, but nothing to extreme. It's probably cleaner than knock outs sex jokes

Before he had longed to finally be set free from his medical confinement, it wasn't as if his own room was any bigger but, it was home.

Now, he wasn't so sure anymore.

Starscream was set to finally leave his berth in the medbay just the day after his little accident in the control room, extended accordingly of course. Ratchet was the one who insisted on it, Starscream loathed that at first, but now he was contempt with the decision.

He'd found himself pondering that feeling he had experienced back in his once quarters. It's not as if he didn't try  _ not _ to think about it, but it was like some part of him was goading that thought on.

Laying back on the medical berth, Starscream cusped his servos together over his abdomen, looking up at the ceiling absently. A plethora of wires were strapped across his chassis and helm, Ratchet being at the forefront of this display.

The seeker pay no attention to the doctor, so little notice of his actions that it concerned Ratchet wordlessly. 

Before he knew it, Starscream heard an elongated sigh coming from the physician, already taking off the wires and tubing that connected up to the terminal. It couldn't have been that long, had it?

"Well, Starscream, for now the misalignment in your chamber is the only possibility for your fluxing. I hate to admit that I might have been overextending from your injury, but it should still be kept a close optic on." Ratchet spoke while putting away the taped wires, looking up from the pullout desk to see Starscream staring at him. In an ominous quiet.

Too quiet for the doctor to comprehend, even. Ratchet hadn't known Starscream that well before he landed a spot on the Nemesis' medbay, but he did compensate for his insufferable attitude.

But, without that, it was like Ratchet was staring at nothing.

"Oh will you stop doing that?"

"Stop doing what?" Said Starscream genuinely.

"Stop being so, so silent! It's unsettling!" Ratchet peered forth with confusion at the daunting and calm face of the seeker.

"Do you want me to be louder, doctor?"

"Well, no, I just-" 

Looking back Ratchet realized Starscream wasn't paying attention anymore, optics flushed down hazily. Knowing him, leaving the Decepticon in his labyrinth of a processor wasn't a solid idea.

But, peace and quiet was nice. He'd let it go just this once. Perhaps it was alright to let Starscream settle things within his own mind, as twisted as it seemed.

  
  


-

  
  


It'd been orns of him laying on that metal medical berth. Starscream didn't even  _ realize _ he was thinking about anything half the time. 

He lifted his stilled servos and placed them softly on his shoulders, or the area beside his neck scuff. His servos felt colder than usual, not the pleasant kind of cool either…

Did he seriously call that sensation from earlier pleasant? It was not! It was terrifying, or something. That was how he felt he should feel, bots weren't supposed to like the cold.

More specifically,  _ he  _ wasn't supposed to like the cold. He hated those frozen days on Earth, lurking about in the horrid tundras. Even chilly forestal mornings grated his nerves.

But, he so wanted to experience it again-

Starscream bonked his head with one of the servos cradling his neck. What was going on in his processor to think such a thing? Thank goodness the medics had left, to think they would see him in such a state.

Even so, Starscream compared the feeling to taking a cold shower, except it was on the bare protoform and systems exposed to the world. Imagining that scenario made the seeker clench up queasily, cold showers were uncomfortable enough.

Why was he even thinking about it so much? It was just a cool sensation in his internals, like a wispy wind, it meant nothing. It didn't  _ feel _ like  _ anything _ .

Why was his processor thinking things he didn't want to think?

He sat up on the berth and cradled his helm in his palms. It began hurting a few kliks prior, and Starscream for once, knew why.

Too much thinking, too much pondering, and too much self doubt. He could hardly trust his own mind, let alone frame anymore. Especially if he got worked up over a little breeze.

"Am I going insane?" Starscream mumbled it out loud knowing that no one would hear him. 

It was an over-exaggeration of course, but even then Starscream swore he was being tricked again. He shivered a bit, recollecting his nerves with the aware action. Now was not the time for this, he should be thinking of more important matters! Like his next move after everything concluded.

...yet thinking about that made him feel worse. Starscream was ashamed at his maze of a head, just process one thing and stick with it!

He would be assisted in that regard, as the phantom came back to haunt him.

Frozen, again. Optics widened just slightly, as his brows creased down, giving an expressive fear to his faceplates.

It started on his helm, the back of it, like a sheet of ice being placed gently on the surface, unmelting. No, not ice, it wasn't that kind of cold, it was more- _ stop _ .

He stopped, dropping his servos to his knees, looking forward at the door in the distance. 

The fog rubbed his neck, making him crane. It made Starscream shiver uncontrollably, but he took it, because he was supposed to.

It reached deep into his helm, and Starscream intook sharply. His optics began to fall back into a calm gaze, servos unclenching and resting on his lap, spark loud in his audials.

His whole body seeped with frozen Energon, the fog a pleasant knack to his metal skin. Starscream's body hissed, not even realizing it was letting out steam from the vents.

No, it wasn't cold anymore, it didn't feel cold anymore.

The phantom's palm touched his spark again, and he arched backward unknowingly, letting out a pleased sound.

He stopped arching, he was supposed to stop. But it wanted him to feel it, and listen to his lesson.

A blissful kind of pleasure gently flowed through him, as it spoke to him. Starscream did not react, because he was supposed to. Absorbing it's attention, it's oh so wonderful attention.

It was like the calmest of sensations, a beautiful chill to urge someone to an endless sleep, as the ghost's servos did the unthinkable, rewriting history in a matter of moments. 

A pointer, a message, Starscream rose from his bliss with a muffled groan.

The door, not just the door. He examined it closer, the crease of the slide. There was a card lodged in it, stopping the system from locking entirely.

Starscream did not question why it was placed there, a serene surge of energy pulsed through him for obeying his will.

Immediately he stood up from the berth, too easily without assistance. Walking over to the door frame in silence, he got a closer look.

It told him what to do without him needing to ponder, jamming his thin digits into the door's rivet, over the emergency sensors, and it slid open.

He caught the card before it fell to the ground, placing it quietly to the floor. For the briefest of moments he thought it would be better to keep it, but the wispy wind engulfing his mind was unhappy with his questioning. He apologized within, he didn't even know what he was sorry for.

The halls of the Nemesis stretched on as Starscream paced swiftly, not even hearing the sound of his pedes clicking on the ground.

_ Hide. _ He did, ducking by a fork in the dark hallway, heavy and shallow footsteps echoed loudly in an instant. Watching carefully, the figures of Optimus and the little femme strutted by. Their mouths were moving, he wondered- _ irrelevant _ . 

It was upset at the sight, a miscalculation. Starscream lolled back with his optics, unhappy with his lack of attention.

Knowing they were gone, he proceeded on, going a little faster this time. 

Good, he spotted it. His room.

He shivered in gratification, happy he made it. He now knew what he was missing, it enlightened him.

The door was already open. No questions, just the arousal of knowing his job would be easier now. A delightful job, it would be perfect, it would bring him the ultimate satisfaction.

He found himself opening a safe, one that was away from the others. One he had forgotten about, until now.

Slowly, he pulled the safe out of its hiding place and into the middle of the room. It was rather large, and secure. It was meant to keep outsiders away.

His servo reached for the electronic lock, the code bar. Starscream didn't understand, but he was okay with that. The chills down his spine were enough to incentivize his will.

Placing a code in, the safe clicked, loud in his head. Opening it, there were a few things in there, but he was only allowed to pay attention to one of them.

Pulling it out, Starscream examined the groundbridge remote. A ghostly puff of feeling zipped through his body, like little electrical currents filled with liquid happiness were being injected into his blood.

_ Good. _ It told him.  _ You've done wonderful, Starscream. _ Starscream smiled, optics closed in contentment. The wordless praise sliced into ideas for his consuming, he was built for this.

_ Your job isn't finished however, there is much more waiting for you. Then, you will finally feel complete, I'm proud of you _ . 

Starscream acknowledged silently, his pride slaughtered with his will. He was built to serve, now, and forever.

"I won't fail you, master." 

It pulsed with satisfaction after being called a title it never was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starscream what are you doing find out next time on dragon ball z


	19. The Happy Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH YEA I UPDATED IM AWESIME
> 
> It's not that I've been procrastinating (kinda) its just that i have so many gosh darn fic ideas I can't focus on a single one
> 
> I might actually put up some ideas as prompts or something just so I can get them off my chest because I wanna write them but im scared ill butcher the ideas with my rudimentary writing skills

Knock Out had always been the center of conversation, even as they stalked the Nemesis's halls.

Ratchet remain bemused as he discussed what he hoped the new era of Cybertron would be, saying that he would hang up his coat for medical study and pursue a career in cosmetics.

To which the old mech countered. Knock Out was a very capable physician, having just recently performed life saving surgery on Starscream, and probably on countless other Decepticons within the war.

To which Knock Out countered back. The medical field was his mild interest, but a mech's finish was his passion. That part was easy for Ratchet to believe.

He was surprised at how well spoken the once Decepticon was, sure Knock Out knew his way around sweet talk and many other flirtatious endeavours, but this was different. Holding a genuine conversation with the bot was, he hated to say it, a very pleasant experience.

However, it took an unpleasant turn when a certain seeker was brought up.

"I wonder what Screamy will do in our planet's revival."

It got quiet suddenly, besides the clicking of metal feet against the also metal surface. The mood dampened into a sad kind of stew, all the wrong ingredients to make something delightfully unhappy.

Knock Out lifted his helm, looking back to the medic yearnfully.

"We never really discussed what would happen to him, have we?"

Ratchet vented roughly, spark sinking in his chassis while his optics tried their hardest not to stare.

"It, is not an easy thing to discuss, Knock Out."

"Maybe not, but we can not hold back forever. Starscream is growing impatient, you know."

Ratchet nodded gently in acknowledgement. An impatient Starscream was a reckless one, and a reckless Starscream was untouchable. Knock Out proceeded, despite their directions.

"He is getting better, hasn't tried to slag one of us at least. But I know giving up his Decepticon life cannot happen overnight. I don't think he'll ever get over it."

"That is why we all worry about him." Spoke Ratchet softly. His comrades worried about Starscream in their own unique and fearful ways, but Knock Out was different in that regard.

"I'm almost certain if we give Starscream his freedom, he'll fly off to wherever Shockwave is hiding and we'll never see his face again for vorns. Starscream alone can't boost Decepticon moral, but Shockwave is cunning, who knows what trouble that one can cause..."

The mention of the Cyclops put Ratchet on a different kind of ice. Shockwave fathered the greatest threat currently on Cybertron besides himself, and it is not unlikely that he would create more predacons in the future.

That scientist was a force to be reckoned with, not malleable or easily contained like Starscream, no. Shockwave was a true threat to look after. Ratchet complied.

"Without Megatron, I am unsure if Shockwave has an incentive to pursue us anymore. He certainly doesn't trust Starscream, he isn't stupid. Yet, he never mentioned insubordination coming from him, I wonder if Shockwave is actually taking orders…"

It wasn't unlikely, the scientist didn't follow moral standards and went wherever his work was. A mutually beneficial relationship between the two was an odd concept, but a sound one. 

Shockwave wasn't as deadpanned as many would hope to assume. He was a real mech, with real feelings and thoughts that still produced results like his many unorthodox experiments. And that is what terrified Ratchet.

The conservation led them to the hall holding the medbay, and instantly, something was terribly off.

The door was open, making light leak into the hallway sharply. Ratchet's optics widened as they got closer, beginning to rush into a sprint while the other medic followed dutifully.

"Oh frag all.." Hushed Ratchet, making Knock Out smirk a little but not enough to grow oblivious of what was making the old doctor so upset. They reached the door frame in due time.

Starscream was missing, and the automatic door controls didn't activate properly upon entering, meaning he'd successfully broken into the emergency bypass system.

Ratchet cursed under his breath, how did he do it? Was it possible they underestimated the control Starscream had on the ship still?

It was terribly quiet, besides Ratchet's unfriendly language. Knock Out grimaced at the idea of Starscream roaming the ship,  _ if  _ he was still boarded, which was probably not the case.

"How could he have gotten out? There's no feasible way he could have accessed those codes!" He paced the room, trying to think of a possible solution while contemplating how to get through this breakout, while Knock Out observed him and the room he trot.

Ratchet however, had a trump card, one that he remembered in the nick of time. The sparkpulse monitor he'd placed on Starscream had another more invasive purpose, being equipped with a GPS signal in case something like this were to happen.

He thanked his apprehension for doing so, and checked his internal tracking monitor for Starscream's current whereabouts.

_ Heading towards the Spacebridge _ . Ratchet frowned in his own dialect, the Spacebridge was a distance away from the medbay, Starscream might've been long gone before they got there.

_ Vent _ . He did, and thought of a new method. He checked the Nemesis' own tracking system, which was just recently calibrated for all the Autobots. Who was the closest to Starscream's location?

"Optimus, do you read?"

_ "Yes Ratchet. You seem distressed?" _

"Indeed… I need you and Arcee to get to the Spacebridge immediately, it appears Starscream is attempting an escape."

_ "Understood _ ."  _ Click! _

The COM hung up, and Ratchet could only pray to Primus that those two got there in time. The overhead light flickered rhythmically every so often as the room fell cold.

"Hey doctor, I believe I found our culprit."

Ratchet had almost forgotten Knock Out was still present with him, tilting his head back to see the red medic kneeling on the floor, holding something small in his palm.

Slowly, he paced over, crouching down to see what Knock Out was yapping about.

In all its glory, was Ratchet's own  _ Hero's of Cybertron _ trading card.

"Oh that bastard…"

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"What'd he ask for this time?"

Arcee peered curiously at the Prime who'd just hung up his communicator, still holding a soft servo to his antenna.

"We must hurry to the Spacebridge immediately." He said in his usual calm, though you could spot a tinge of agitation if you listened in close enough.

"A mission?"

"No. Starscream is making an attempt to escape."

Arcee's smile dropped in an instant the moment she heard that name, only for it to return with a whole new purpose. Pumping her fists together like a strange human chant.

"What're you waiting for? Let's kick some seeker tailpipe!"

They both transformed in shuffling of parts, and accelerated forth to their latest objective. The chortling of motors filled the hallways with the buzzing sound for miles on end.

The Spacebridge was not far from their location, that is why Optimus was called most likely. That however did not stop the engines from running on full throttle.

Even with the loud motors, Optimus noticed quiet emitting from Arcee's usually bountiful field.

"I apologize that we will have to reschedule our luncheon, but do not let anger cloud your vision for this battle."

Arcee huffed, in mild amusement as well.

"Yeah, yeah I know Optimus."

They began to close into the Spacebridge deck.

"...that does not mean you should go easy on him."

"Ha! Would I ever?"

Clanking and rustling combined together as the plating mesh transformed, both skidding to a halt at the entry way. Starscream was there, standing oddly straight over the main control panel.

Whirling to life, Arcee and Optimus readied their firearms, pointing them at the estranged seeker.

"Hands up or get shot, Con'!" Old habits, she supposed.

Starscream didn't budge, still patiently prodding at the bright keys, wings aloof in a midframe slack. Arcee growled, not sharing his enthusiasm, and fired a weak warning shot at his helm.

Seamlessly however, he dodged the energy beam like it wasn't even there, hardly paying attention to either of them.

Arcee only remain weirded out for a klik before charging at Starscream with mighty force, while Optimus grew a suspicion for the behaviour and an extensive worry for their outcome.

"Wait, Arcee! Something isn't right here-" Arcee did not hear as she pounced at Starscream, only for her face to smack into the control panel as he sidestepped. How did he know she was going to do that?

She recovered, kicking a leg out to trip up her adversary, who jumped back like he was walking on air, head faced to the ground.

Shaking her scowl adorned helm, Arcee questioned while Optimus took his turn. Slash with the blade, Starscream elegantly backed from it, an almost unreadable punch, Starscream read the attack.

Arcee was almost impressed until the Decepticon now went on the offense. Taking that punch from Optimus and pulling him off his pedes, and planting him into the floor with a bang. 

There was a certain mastery to his movements, his paries. Starscream already was an excellent fighter, but this was different. It felt  _ wrong _ .

The motorcycle could only do so much as the two go head to head in combat. For what Starscream lacked in strength, was made up for by his sly body and maneuvering, easily overpowering the Prime.

A snap, and heavy cough, and Optimus was in a heap on the ground in a matter of minutes, just from Starscream alone. They really were out of practise to be bested by someone like him.

Now she realised it, as the seeker stared at his work lying dormant on the metal floor, as Optimus attempted to get up only to be kicked in the helm again.

She now saw it, as Starscream shifted to look at his next target, neck craned a good ninety degree angle. His optics were  _ black _ , completely darkened. Not just shut off, but utterly empty, like she was staring into a void.

It was mildly terrifying, giving Starscream enough time as she absorbed a strange sense of fear, strutting over to her quickly.

She didn't have enough time to react before he was on to her, grabbing her ankles and repeatedly slamming her against the metal floor silly.

With each crunch, Arcee got more disoriented, trying to shoot with her blasters, but never getting a clear shot as she thrashed around periodically.

_ Wham! Wham! _ Over and over again until she felt like either purging or passing out, but fortunately, he ceased after what felt like enough. Enough to keep her down for the time being.

He threw her scratched up frame over to the other discombobulated mech, skidding to a halt after hitting Optimus torso first.

She tried to get up in earnest, but was so dizzy and nauseous to the point of it hurting to even online optics. All she could do was sit still and watch.

The Spacebridge opened, Arcee wanted to shout at Starscream, say anything just to spite him and stall as she sent an alert to her comrades. 

But, he did not go through the portal, just standing there with something in his hand. It would have confused Arcee if she were not already.  _ Isn't he just gonna leave? Why wait around and gloat? Starscream is vain, but not if it means risk. _

It was revealed, a portable groundbridge remote, and he was using it even though he had a Spacebridge open right in front of him?

Simultaneously, they collided, a firework worthy display showcased itself brightly when the two combined to form a monstrosity.

Optimus groaned beside her, beginning to stumble back to the living, but she simply watched as the air current directed itself to the light show.

In the blink of an eye, it was over, and only the groundbridge remain open.

Starscream stood absolute in front of the console, waiting diligently, unmoving, as a figure rose from that single portal.

Optics widened as she saw who it was that came out of that portal, spindly spine of a frame that screamed danger in all directions. The black and violet coalesced together into a deadly sort of malice, sharp thorn like digits that complimented the finish.

Soundwave stood proud as a warrior, and Starscream kneeled before him, as if he were in Megatron's place. 

  
  


" _ Oh frag. . ." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn you jojo another cliffhanger
> 
> Oh and 100+ KUDOS?? NO WAY 😭 the fact that over 100 people read my fic and enjoyed it enough to give it a kudos baffles me, thank you all for the encouragements and views, it makes me so happy ❤


	20. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't keep saying ill make faster updates because it never happens, im slower than a sloth in that regard 😭

Gratification was in abundance for the little parasite, heels digging into the metal ground, begging to quiver as his spine sparked with a wonderful electricity.

He'd defeated the enemy, the ones who were out to stop the overbearer, he'd done it with mighty resolve. Helping him, bringing him to the living. It was a satisfaction that words could not fully describe.

Now, kneeling forth before his ultimate saviour, he placed a clasped servo over his chest in salute.

Soundwave stood silent, watching, listening. It was tense for those who witnessed but to Starscream it reckoned a beautiful eagerness within him.

Finally, he willed up his might, looking up to Soundwave with desperation and wanting, seeking the acknowledgement he so ever craved.

The blank face of his leader bore down harshly, it was, wonderful.

"I did what you asked of me, Master."

The silent mech spoke nothing, remaining still as a statue on the Spacebridge's platform, staring.

Starscream winced without ever noticing, field begging beyond reason. This was his chance, this was the way things were meant to be. So why..?

"Aren't you pleased with me, Master?"

Silence again. Much more uncomfortable, but the seeker hardly pay attention to that.

But, before he knew it, the Decepticon leaned forward, striding in deep takes towards the kneeling flyer, making Starscream grin madly, like he had won a prize.

  
  
  


_Thank you, Starscream_

  
  
  


This was it, this was his purpose. His will to serve, all for this praise. It made his wings protrude high in the air, frame quiver in anticipation. 

  
  
  


_Truly, thank you_

  
  
  


Soundwave now stood before him, looking down with an odd tilt adorning the mask. _Stand._ He stood, meeting his Leader's height in even, awaiting.

Then, he felt a gentle, nimble servo on his shoulder. Tempting him to lean into the touch, but it did not feel right. It was not welcoming like it should.

Starscream began to tremble earnestly, his Master's field didn't feel right. Why did it not feel right?

"M-master? I don't understand."

Still again, the tension was allowed to sink back into the seeker's core, like floodgates being opened.

The dark aura coming off of the spy-master welled deeper and deeper, true intentions beginning to rise to the surface. Voices could be heard in the distance, getting closer, more threatening to Soundwave's goal.

  
  
  


_Your help has been of the greatest importance_

  
  
  


An intense sensation warped around Soundwave's fingertips and entered into the lithe seeker's body.

  
  
  


_Truly, thank you._

  
  
  


It was not right. He'd done everything good but it was not right. What did he do wrong?

  
  
  


_But your assistance will no longer be necessary._

  
  
  


Starscream stared back with a forced smile, the hand on his shoulder getting tighter. More powerful.

All his help and strife, to lead up to this single moment. The ultimate satisfaction.

In a fleeting moment, the bond Soundwave had placed on the seeker had severed, electricity bounced metaphorically between them.

His sensation return to him in brief, all the pain and anger that was held back finally arriving on time, his shattered will being pieced back together again in a frightening fashion. Soundwave's hold on him was gone, and all the wonderful things that came with it. It was a pain beyond his imagining.

Starscream was silent as he fell to the floor with a vicious clank, optics dead as night.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


"There he is!"

Shouted the Autobot medic in breath, running into the Spacebridge complex with the other tailing him.

Arcee had proven reliable again to alert them of what truly was going on, being prepared for the worst when it came to facing the deadly spy of the Decepticons.

She sounded aloof and dazed, proof that an unusually difficult battle had been wrought before their arrival. Upon that, it was proven to be the case.

Optimus and Arcee were still recovering in a heap near the corner of the room, the motorcycle seemed to be a little more alert than her more heavy comrade. It just wasn't possible for Starscream of all people to get those mechs to that point. He may have been witty, but lacked in physical maneuvering, it just wasn't feasible at all.

Knock Out huffed madly, seeming to not appreciate the chase, even if he had the chance to ride around the halls in alt-mode.

Though the mood changed drastically when they witnessed what happened.

Starscream, in all his glory, standing in front of Soundwave like an old friend.

It made Ratchet growl angrily, prepping his blades in retaliation, but chose to observe a little longer. Knock Out already seemed disturbed without knowing it.

A servo on Starscream's shoulder, a gesture of accomplice, of acknowledgement. Yet everything about the way the field set in the area screamed danger in bold letters.

When Starscream collapsed however, that was their moment to strike.

Before Soundwave could open his own portable bridge, Knock Out did the unthinkable, and revved up his engines and charged to Soundwave in an attempt to confuse him.

Unfortunately for him, Soundwave saw it coming, catching the hood of the car with his sharp digits, proceeding to fling him across the room.

"-hhey watch the finish!" Of course, that is all he cared about in the mits of battle. Showing that he was fine.

Ratchet followed through, charging up to the Decepticon with his knives in hand, preparing for the predicted attack.

He was correct, as Soundwave slithered his cables out to lash at him aggressively. Though the bot wouldn't risk them to get snapped, leaving him a bit more open.

Ratchet tried to take advantage of that, getting closer and closer while slicing to steer the tentacles away. He got a little too cocky, and Soundwave suplexed him forcefully, grabbing his ankle and throwing him to the ground.

He skid into Starscream's corpse-like frame as he hit the surface, tumbling in a frenzy off of the Spacebridge platform.

Regaining his thoughts, Ratchet looked down to the seeker below him when they scuffled. His optics were offline, no sign of life whatsoever, not even the telltale lifting of the chassis as he vented.

Even more concerning was that the spark-pulse monitor was offline. Not flatlined, just blank, which should be impossible as it runs on an eternal battery. 

Every medical sense in him screamed to look over the mech, but it would have to wait until after Soundwave was dealt with. Knock Out couldn't hold out much longer, he wasn't exactly warrior material.

_Goodness, I hope backup arrives soon. Soundwave can defeat even Optimus but he can't take on all of us._

In a quick glance, Ratchet peered down to the supposed dead frame of Starscream with concern, before returning to the fight.

The red medic looked less for wear, already getting tired out from the persistent battle strategies of the intelligence officer. He wasn't that title for nothing.

Ratchet yelled uncharacteristically as he jumped the Decepticon, gripping on to the Lazerbeak fins as Soundwave furiously shook him free. 

For being so spindly, the mech was strong, Knock Out was on the floor with another jab of the cable, electrifying him in an instant. Ratchet persisted, trying to wrap his arms around the neck but was misaligned just enough to be thrown off once more.

Soundwave turned to the medic and snaked a cable towards him, wrapping it ever so gently around his neck wiring. Pulling him into the air as it tightened periodically, Ratchet clawed at the tentacle profusely but it was no use.

In a strange sort of vengeance, the tentacle continued it's grip. Ratchet shut off his oral venting to let tension up but it wasn't enough, already feeling his spine begin to snap.

His vision began to cloud, lubricant foaming from his mouth painfully as he choked. Ratchet almost grinned that his last thought was going to be "what a stubborn bastard".

Fortunately, it wouldn't get to that point, as a sudden bolt of light hit the back of Soundwave's head, making him loosen the grip but not enough to let go.

"Did someone call for backup?"

Soundwave looked back to meet the running forms of the other Autobots, terrible timing for him.

Smokescreen fired a volley of shots, raining down to disorientate him, finally making the con let up and free Ratchet, falling to the ground in a coughing fit.

Before Soundwave could retaliate, a hammer swung and hit him rock hard on the faceplate, cracking it slightly as glass flew.

It was too quick for even the brilliant mind of the Decepticon to comprehend, too many variables as Bulkhead's clobber pushed him to the ground, or Wheeljack's unnaturally useful explosives, or maybe even Bumblebee's careful firing.

Soundwave groaned a little as Ultra Magnus tackled and straddled him to the floor, hands behind his back as more powerful stasis cuffs were placed on them. It took a team effort to effectively clamp down the cables into their sockets, immobilizing him.

The Decepticon went limp under the gaze, being rendered powerless in a matter of seconds.

"Soundwave, I hereby put you under arrest for, a lot of things."

The tension dropped once it was all finished, making Wheeljack actively laugh against it all.

"Magnus, even you have to admit that sounded completely stupid."

Magnus sighed, before carefully lifting the Decepticon up by the cuffs to his feet. Soundwave stopped fighting against it, seeing that his defeat was imminent.

"Let's just get the prisoner to the brig."

Wheeljack accompanied the commander to get Soundwave in a cell, Bulkhead following his friend dutifully. While Smokescreen and Bumblebee stayed to check on those who downed in the struggle.

Optimus and Arcee would be fine, just a bit banged up but no serious injuries that would impair them in the long run. Smokescreen smiled like it was his party at seeing his leader okay.

Knock Out got up, visibly upset at the new scratches as usual, trying to find his medic friend. Bumblebee helping him up but the doctor shrugged it off, still a bit dazed and stubborn.

He saw Ratchet eventually, off the main platform and kneeling by Starscream, seeming agitated or distraught by the sheer presence of the seeker.

Knock Out walked over, looking over to the mech with some worry.

"Will he be okay?"

Ratchet shook his helm quickly as if in some sort of trance, looking up to the red medic swiftly, before peering back down to Starscream's body.

"He appears to be in some sort of deep stasis. When or will he wake up, I am not so certain."

The Autobot cupped the underside of Starscream's frame, carrying him with only a tinge of struggle, hefting into the air against his chassis. He was lighter than he thought he would be.

"But, rest assured. When he wakes up, he will be asked many questions."

Grasping Starscream's body with trepidation, the remaining Autobots left behind the mess that now was the Spacebridge. What a day it was.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave in robot jail:
> 
> Soundwave: heheahea *pulls out comically large cartoony looking key*


	21. Indulgence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized this is written in mobile and formatted for mobile view, im sorry pc ao3 users you're probably suffering through this

There was that ringing again as he began to open his optics.

Harsh light bore down on top of his faceplates, making it difficult to consider the possibility of sight. But the idea of awakening was insatiable, even if he wasn't entirely aware of it.

He groaned slightly, chest rising slowly to meet his drowsy tempo. Optics feeling like glue had been wedged into the crevices, it almost made him more tired to put in the effort of opening them properly.

Again, his audials rang like a bloody flow, cursing him into finally rousing awake. Mind too blank to argue, he complied, like he always did.

He blinked a few more times without paying much thought to the suffocating light, before attempting to lift a servo from wherever he slept, only for something to stop it.

That was the moment he began to relay awareness. Panic welling deep into his core as he struggled against what seemed to be metal restraints, holding him down to a somewhat cold surface.

His mind was too fogged with confusion to process reality for the moments that followed, wallowing in an undisclosed fear of what was going to happen to him, not bothering to listen to the voices beside him.

Struggling against the lapels that held him, unintentionally whimpering to sooth his appetite for a normal voice. It broke everything he was taught about hostage etiquette, but in the moment he hardly pay thought to a single thing.

Spark swirling dangerously, vents huffing madly, it was,  _ anything but ideal _ .

  
  


_ "Starscream." _

  
  


That appeared to pop the bubble of insanity clouding his judgement, the world coming back to him in an instant.

Starscream looked around cautiously. Knock Out was there, but he wasn't the one who spoke, the voice belonged to the other medic beside him.

Acknowledging them briefly only to peer back down to his restraints, cuffs patched to a steel medical gurney as he lay slightly elevated, testing the shackles' power.

"Urgh-, why am I restrained?!"

The two eyed each other, like they knew something he didn't, making Starscream both nervous and angry at them. Ratchet was the first to speak up, seeing that the other was too placid in the moment.

"We couldn't risk you escaping."

Starscream gave a shocked and humiliated look at the reply, daring to tempt their fates with such a comment.

"E-escape? Why are you worried about such a thing?!"

He thought they had trusted him, and he trusted them. What had he done wrong? Why were they doing this to him?

The two still did that look between each other again, it aggravated Starscream, making him tug at the bolted restraints once more unsuccessfully. It probably only made them more distrustful, but he just wanted to get out of there.

Eventually, Knock Out coughed a little, not enjoying the unhappy field of play.

"Well. What is the last thing you remember?"

They both stared wide eyed at each other, the sentence was terribly familiar, bringing a pang to his chassis.

The truth was, he couldn't remember a single thing. All that mattered was the now, and getting up off this damned surgery table. His processor ached too much, forbidding passage to his memories.

He wanted to bring a servo up to his face to block out the not so bright light, growling and shutting his optics didn't feel like enough. He just couldn't  _ think _ about  _ anything! _

Knock Out noticed his intense distress, and stepped forward to save the day once more.

"Okay, I see,  _ he seems to be experiencing temporary amnesia…"  _ he muttered that last part to himself quietly, Ratchet observed carefully as well, taking mental note of the symptoms.

".. _ kind of expected after being wiped for so long- _ Say, Screamy, do you remember the first time I operated on you?"

That made Starscream freeze from his struggling, finally seeming to process deep thought, pinpointing a single file that could repair his head.

He grinned just a bit at the memory.

"Heh, wish I could forget.."

Knock Out smiled back, and didn't seem to be offended by the answer, slacking now that Starscream calmed from his processor breakdown. Well, in the qualms of cooling off.

"Do you remember what you told me? After I finished fixing you up?"

His field quieted to look forth at Starscream's contemplation, hoping that it would solve the issue beforehand.

The seeker's grin got a little bigger, still a bit drowsy but in the process of recovery.

The Decepticon stopped moving entirely to recollect, wings only twitching against the metal every so often at their uncomfortable placement. Starscream looked into the eyes of the red medic to fulfill his request.

" _ Let's never do that again. _ "

He sounded strangely out of breath despite the lack of physical movement, motors chortling gently under his regular voice. His distress was apparent, but fading.

Of course, Knock Out was his doctor. They would do that again, and again, for every injury that befell him.

"You know, I don't think you got any better at fixing me, I just got more used to the pain."

Knock Out stare happily, a tinge of sorrow leaking from the depths of his optics. He wished Starscream didn't say that.

Ratchet looked less patient for Starscream's mental madness, pinging the other doctor to start asking proper questions. He would be the only person the seeker would listen to, thought Ratchet sadly.

"Do you remember when we visited your room? The time after we left?"

"Of course." Was Starscream's immediate answer, though he hadn't quite sorted that out yet. Just giving his processor more time.

The doctors expected that trick somewhat, waiting for their patient to bring up his final appeal.

Closed optics within deep thought, Starscream began sorting.

Yes, he did remember going to his room. He had been there many many times, but only one time had he with Knock Out, that was more recent. He remembered that.

He remembered the tension between the two of them, how still the air in his quarters were, and how  _ cold it was. _

Starscream made a face of immense horror upon recognising the cold in his memory. That was all he needed to think about to truly  _ remember _ what actually happened that day.

Instantly, his face scrunched in anger and mortification, fists clenched in their place stuck to the metal, wings shaking more intensely.

"H-how  _ could  _ he! How dare he do such a thing to his  _ commanding _ officer!" Snapped Starscream at no one in particular.

"Woah, Screamy, what are you talking about?" 

Starscream was too drowned in utter humiliation to really pay attention to the faces in front of them, but his inner monologue guise fell for it, indulging their curiosity.

"Oh that FRAGGER! He couldn't have just  _ asked _ me to free him from whatever pit he came out of?!"

The doctors exchanged glances once more, having a vague idea on what Starscream was going to start nonsense lecturing about.

"When I get out of here, I'm going to make him FOURTH in command and replace him with a drone-!"

"Are you referring to Soundwave?"

Starscream raised a brow from his sermon, almost ready to give up, still frolicking in the idea of an audience.

"Who else would I be referring to?! Only he has the scrotum to do whatever voodoo processor jambling he cursed upon me!"

"...Woah buddy, slow the frag down and start from the beginning. I'm pretty sure the old doc is starting to get confused."

"Don't call me doc."

So Starscream started from the very beginning, silencing all questions for the end, letting his intricate storytelling skills take the lead. 

Despite his salivating over the chance of a good show, Starscream's words felt stilted, and sad. He was getting worse at it.

He talked of the cold chill, how odd it seemed in a room with no draft. How mysterious it felt, how disturbing it allured.

He spoke of the ghost that haunted him, before he had realised it was his colleague giving him a scare.

And he reluctantly recollected the moments when he lost control, or part of it. He would be giving himself too much credit if he said it was entirely Soundwave's doing.

"It, was like I was giving into an age-long desire." 

Oh, he did not just say that. Embarrassingly, he looked away from his interrogators, scared they would mock the poor word choice, as accurate as it was. But they did not, instead listened in with a morbid and otherwise disturbing fascination.

Then, he concluded with the last thing he remembered, Soundwave himself. Taking a part of him with it. The questions were now allowed much to his own displeasure.

"It, does not make much sense to me. Soundwave was in the shadowzone until his emergence yesterday-" Starscream balked that it was only a cycle, but remain silent for the doctor's testimony. "-there is no possible way he could have communicated with you, let alone control you…"

It was obvious Ratchet was still skeptical, though was composed and neutral, not seeming to mind the idea of a traitorous Starscream if the situation ended up being that.

The seeker clenched his teeth together in odd patterns, trying to find the right things to say, trying not to twist the truth, now was not the time, even for his boisterous retellings.

"It truly felt like he was present with me, I could  _ feel _ his servo on my spark, if I were blind I would have believed him to be right beside me."

The medic took that into consideration, a hand on his chin while in deep contemplation, starting to pace in the way Starscream did.

"Hmm, well, I do recall wireless signals and human reception being able to go between dimensions. Clearly this whole Shadowzone situation has not been studied enough."

Starscream would have agreed if he hadn't been pretending to know what the Shadowzone was this whole time.

He blinked as he felt his limbs being detached from the gurney, flexing his digits while bringing the hand up to caress the sore wrist. Knock Out sighed as he unraveled the legs lastly. Ratchet gave him a dirty look, which was responded to with a toothy grin.

"What? I believe he's proved his innocence,  _ as innocent as a Decepticon gets… _ "

"What was that?" Spoke Starscream, keening into Knock Out's mutterings with mild amusement.

"Oh, nothing you needn't know."

With a good long stretch, Starscream got up off the metal slab and landed wobbly on to the floor, heeled feet clicking gently against it, sounding lighter than usual.

He just stood there for a bit, taking in his surroundings uselessly, yawning and putting his servos on each hip.

"Well? Did you capture him?"

It took Ratchet a while to process what he meant by that.

"Yes, he is in our custody. Are you concerned we are incapable of handling a Decepticon?"

"Hmph, well, last time you tried capturing me that failed quite miserably." He sounded rather proud while saying that, making Ratchet more antsy.

"Last time I checked  _ you _ were the one who surrendered to us."

Starscream balked and hid his face away with a scoff, forgetting his silvertongue once more.

Hopefully things would be a little more normal after this event. Anything including the screwball seeker was anything but. There would always be another.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Soundwave's interrogation! (Unlike his canonical capture, he'll actually start talkin. But not unlike his canonical capture, he'll still be cool and sexy doing it (if my amateur writing skills can compensate for his awesomeness..))


	22. Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm awfully aware that this story isn't my top notch stuff because of the short and sporadic updates. I hope its still tolerable :P

"Optimus, I just got back from the medbay, Starscream is awake."

  
  


"I'm glad to hear that."

  
  


"He makes a compelling case for himself, one that we cannot truly confirm until Soundwave's testimony."

  
  


"Of course, old friend. Is he stable enough to accompany us?"

  
  


"I would advise against it."

  
  


"Is he still unwell? It would be prudent for another Decepticon to be present with us during the other's interrogation."

  
  


"Yes, I agree with that. However, I fear Soundwave's hold on Starscream may be stronger than we anticipated. We can't truly know until he gives us insight, if he is willing."

  
  


"The last thing we want is to take drastic measures for a proper answer."

  
  


"Well, knowing Soundwave, it may be the only way."

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The door slid open loudly, loud for the barren room the prisoner occupied in, echoing for what felt like ages. Ratchet stepped in with caution, eyeing that same spot in the center like it would pop out at him if he averted his gaze.

After seeing the dormancy, Ratchet pushed forward, allowing Optimus to hulk behind him. The panel closed once they were both inside, in complete darkness besides the glistening of their optics. Ratchet switched the light, a haunting _clang_ settled in as the overhead turned on, casting down harshly on them.

Soundwave was still, he had to be still anyhow. A bright X-shaped yellow alloy restraint covered his chassis, keeping both Lazerbeak and his retractable cables at bay. The colour contrasted the Decepticon's faded blue, in an almost pleasing way. Yellow cuffs were placed on each servo as well, holding him down to the table in complete symmetry.

The interrogating table he was on, perhaps Soundwave in a million stellar cycles would have ever known it would be him that lay trapped in its unforgiving grasp. Ratchet almost wished they could have used a more humane way of restraint, but the spymaster was too cunning, too powerful for anything less.

He made not a single noise as the two Autobots got closer, sharing the silence. Ratchet knew of his unwillingness to speak, even in a hostage situation like this one. It irked him how they had to get answers out of the most hardened bot in the Decepticon fold. Not even the most torturous and skilled interrogator in the galaxy could ever make Soundwave talk.

Optimus spoke first, that is what they had planned before entering, voice rumbling the silence with ease.

"Soundwave." A greeting, for a start.

"I understand your devotion to Megatron and the Decepticons is above even your own spark, but we do not want to resort to drastic measures to ensure your compliance."

Straight to the point then. Ratchet prefered it to be that way, even if Optimus' statement was a glorified version of 'do as we say or suffer the consequences'. The last time they tried getting anything out of Soundwave, all he relayed was a cryptic saying, and escaped easily, dragging Ratchet out in the process.

"So I ask of you, do not make this harder for us, or yourself. Answer our questions, and I can guarantee that no harm will befall you."

Soundwave remain in complete and utter silence, Ratchet found it impossible to tell if he was ignoring Optimus' words, or perhaps considering them.

Still, no response, a gentle buzzing from their systems thrumming in the quiet. Optimus sighed, strangely emotive. Ratchet could see his reflection in the visor, as if there wasn't anything underneath it.

Before they could consider their next less fortunate move, static filled the still cold air. Ratchet's optics no longer rested on his reflection, a sharp, now sporadic blue line fuzzed on to the screen.

_"Soundwave; will comply."_

_"Soundwave; will answer. Any questions."_

Ratchet gaped. He'd never- Soundwave never-

The Autobot leader almost cracked a smile, but held it down. He looked over to his medic, who bashfully realised his mouth was slightly open in awe and confusion. With a reaffirming nod, vented deeply and walked a step closer to the restrained figure.

"Thank you, Soundwave." _Old friend._ Optimus had sounded like he really meant it, further expediting his dumbfounded mind. The Autobot leader recalibrated, staring down at Soundwave with finality.

"What did you do to Starscream?" 

The sentence was loose, making it obvious Optimus was desperate to know more, and Ratchet hardly blamed him. Static usurped once more, leaving the two wondering and waiting.

Soundwave almost seemed, _hesitant_ to answer. Blanketing his field in black and white fuzz, seeming to think more than anything. Choosing his words carefully.

Eventually, the spymaster rolled his neck, one of the few limbs not held down by the restraints. Strangely eccentric, but an also comfortable sign of life and willingness. Digits twitching and grasping the air, Soundwave sighed deeply.

_"Starscream; helped Soundwave."_

Ratchet remained irritated, though Optimus simply nod, covering his frustrations he supposed.

"We are aware. We want to understand his strange behaviour, and whether or not you are behind it."

From the accounts of both Optimus and Arcee, as well as the nearly convincing argument held by Starscream, it was obvious Soundwave was behind it. Whatever _it_ was, had them reeling. Prime was being too soft, Ratchet knew it wouldn't last long.

Soundwave took a vent and held it indefinitely, body stilling with the movement. Whatever he had to say wouldn't come through bodily language, he wasn't emotive like Knock Out or easily manipulated with words like Starscream. Locking himself up like a safe, holding dear to his true intentions.

_"Persuaded; to be."_

Optimus and Ratchet exchanged looks, a dangerous sort of curiosity sprouting forth.

"Persuaded, how exactly?"

Soundwave remain silent. He seemed unwilling to answer, almost unsure as to why himself.

The two bots waited for ages, Ratchet's agitation chipping on the other's field like a grater. Optimus' patience was something the doctor never understood. Even then though, the Prime acknowledged the silence as another opening.

"Why Starscream?"

Ratchet peered at his leader in total confusion, what kind of question was that? Soundwave too appeared a bit dumbfounded, for how much a mask could allow in terms of personal reflection.

Optimus just kept staring at the Decepticon, optics pinched down in a nearly angry squint. If Soundwave realized some secret meaning behind the words, he did not show it. There was something between the two that put Ratchet on edge. Optimus' voice rumbled, startling him unprofessionally. 

"Why did you make him assist you in your escape, when you could have used any one of us?"

More staring, Soundwave spoke none, until he finally exhaled that vent he was holding in.

Something reverberated in his chassis, like a chuckle or engine sputtering. Whatever it was, made them uneasy.

_"Starscream; the weakest."_

Somehow, that surprised Ratchet. No one, not even the Decepticons thought highly of Starscream. But the weakest? He did not want to spill names dryly, but Starscream was one powerful bastard if he wanted to be.

But, Optimus did not seem surprised, never wavering his gaze from the black of the mask. He breathed in, then out, morbidly so. It left him horribly curious. 

_"But; not weak; enough."_

That managed to get the Autobot to widen his squint up, finally hitting a dead end, letting Soundwave take over.

_"Needed; incentive."_

The spymaster shook gently, as if recalling a memory.

_"Needed; correction."_

. . .

_"Needed;_ pain."

Ratchet gaped, a puzzle repairing itself in his processor. Anger boiled in his Energon, riling up an old part of him that any Autobot only dared to think of.

" _YOU!_ You are the one that made Starscream flux!"

Soundwave dipped his head down, almost embarrassed, or bashful. Either way was startling, confirming it without words. Optimus' optics alternated between his medic and prisoner.

_"Indeed."_ Ratchet sputtered aimlessly at that, totally unsure of whether or not Soundwave was just toying with him.

"T-That could have offed him! How could you have freed yourself if he were dead!? Let alone tamper with his spark, possibly leaving him dysfunctional for the rest of his life.."

Static befuddled again, the spy tilting his head occasionally in robotic jolts. Ratchet didn't know if Optimus was intrigued or angered, but the doctor did know what _he_ was feeling. He needed answers, especially regarding a patient's well-being, even if they were Starscream of all mechs.

Soundwave collected, absorbing the useless words like tracks on a highway. He seemed prepared already, a servo taught and digits angled, pointing at the two Autobots with its best capabilities.

_"You; misunderstand. Starscream; the weakest._

_But Starscream; not weak. Not enough. Never enough."_

Soundwave sighed, near miserably.

_"He would live. He lived. He would; help me. Find him."_

Optimus finally perked, realizing this had to do with a subject matter close to spark.

"You want to find Megatron?"

Silence, the answer was already apparent. It made Optimus shift uncomfortably, not ready to share details he assumed the spymaster already was aware of.

"...if you would like, we can retrieve his body, and give him a proper resting place."

Ratchet was about to object to that, like pit they'd give Megatron a funeral after everything he'd done. Let the warlord rot on the planet he tried to kill, for all he cared. 

Of course Optimus would be happy to oblige. A part of the Prime wanted to give a proper goodbye to his oldest friend, even if he couldn't hear him.

He never got the chance to spite the dead, Soundwave profusely shook his helm, dipping it down like a bird as he did.

_"You misunderstand; You misunderstand."_

Soundwave breathed in harshly, struggling against the yellow alloy for the first time since his capture, a button must have been pressed. Optimus genuinely looked with stupor, ignoring Ratchet's quiet prattling.

"...I'm afraid we do not follow."

It sounded as though the Decepticon was _laughing_ at them, or maybe crying. It was so unruly that deciphering it was impossible. The alloy clanked against the metal of Soundwave's body, moving on its own.

He laughed, fearfully. And then, quieted.

_"You misunderstand._

_Megatron_ lives _."_


	23. Destination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless plug but I was hoping people could check out my other story Shady-8's, I'll say it again here that its one of my favourite stories I've ever written, and it isn't the kind of fic to be favoured by search results
> 
> Okay bad plug aside here is a new chapter! These don't actually take too long to write but I constantly think on chapters wayy more than the actual writing process, its annoying but I really like this chapter because of it, enjoy!

"Soooo-"

Knock Out finally broke the silence. He'd made the consideration that the medic could only start conversations with that long drag, or sometimes a compliment depending on how he wanted it to go.

He tapped his sharp toes at the ground mindlessly, chin in his hand and pointy elbow jutting into his thigh. Starscream had been sitting on the side of the medical berth for a long while now, not really sure why they were waiting around for Ratchet to come back. With the ominous presentation, he assumed Soundwave's interrogation was on the doctor's plate, wondering how successful  _ that  _ could go.

"-how have you been holding up?"

Starscream turned his head in his palm, now resting it against his cheek as he looked over to Knock Out, who before turning his head had guess a dumb smile would accompany the words. He was wrong, he wasn't sure what emotion was on the medic's face.

"I am fine, it is over now so stop pestering me!" He grumped about, knowing his medic would keep talking, and how nothing would stop that oncoming barrage.

"Well, nothing personal, but you look like slag."

"-Oh zip it you hot rod. Not everyone can be as obnoxiously glossy as your red behind." Starscream grouched, a very unamused look sprouting outwards as he huffed, not quite sure where his agitation was originating from. Knock Out simply stared, on his chair with his servos tucked in his lap like a pompous king. 

It was very awkward, and not in the almost entertaining way. Pure uncomfortable silence, now he understood why the sporty wanted to speak so much, anything to cover up the missing ambience. Still, pride was a key factor, not giving in to his frustrations with both hands on his jaw as he sat on the side of his berth. It was awkward for many reasons, and it was definitely Knock Out's fault, and only so, yes. 

Sighing, he moved one of those cradling servos to the center of his chassis, occasionally moving to the side to slide over the smooth black monitor. Ratchet had rebooted it, tapping into his reserves just to show the public another indicator of his hubris. All of the Autobots were smart enough to not fall for his words anymore, as much as he convinced himself that was not the case, all they needed was his voice to find his lies. 

He found himself thinking about what Soundwave did. For reasons he could not explain, the memories ceased being sour, not hanging on to the emotions with an eagerness to hate. It was anger inducing thinking about all the possibilities, wondering  _ why  _ Soundwave communicated with him in such a strange way, puppeteering him like a broken mannequin. Yet the actual event was no longer within his close memory, perhaps trying to cope with the reality.

Though, if he was being honest with himself, if he were in Soundwave's position he would have done the same thing, if not worse. The spy could've done so many things, out of spite for Starscream's existence, or distressed from Megatron's demise. It confused him more than angered him, but it was stressful. Thinking about it made his spark ache, and in a childish fit of thought, just wanted Soundwave to say sorry.

In fact, the mech might have been the last chance to reignite the Decepticon cause in finality. Now that chance was probably locked away in the Nemesis's interrogation room, and might never reanimate itself again. He wanted Soundwave on his side, Soundwave  _ was  _ on his side, maybe. But that didn't stop himself from fearing him, respecting him, and loathing him for being loved more by Megatron. 

"How's Shockwave doing?"

Woah- Starscream suddenly peeped from his mind palace to look back to Knock Out, who appeared ready to start a new back and forth of conversing. 

That was an odd question. Not that it was, actually, it was something to be expected. It felt odd because he did not have an answer, or any way to readily do so. Knock Out must have been assuming he was keeping contact with his scientist, and right to assume so. Starscream would've, in fact, maybe a demonstration was in order. In the moment, there was no reason to lie.

"Shockwave has not been answering my coms."

The medic's smile deterred, he possibly considered the response but perhaps did not think it would be said. Instead, he sat on his little stool, leg propped on the other and pointed digit on his chin with his next words.

"Is there any reason why that would be the case?" He thought about it for a moment.

"No, I don't think so. Shockwave isn't the type to ignore calls." Quiet followed after Starscream relayed his thoughts. Really, he was unsure, Shockwave made him unsure about everything. It didn't make sense, and it made even less sense at how much that mystery bothered him.

The mystery did not bother Knock Out, however. To prove so, a perked up smile began forming on his white faceplates, kicking his crossed legs in a gentle sway. 

"Are you worried about him?" Something about the way it was said made his reaction even more exaggerated. Optics widened and mouth alay, giving the medic the dirtiest look his tiredness could muster.

"W-what? Why would I ever be worried about that deadbeat!" Spoke he, flexing his arms in storytelling.

"You are upset he is not answering you, while you present a logical reason that he should. You are worried about him." Starscream huffed at Knock Out's horrifically professional response, folding his arms together angrily.

"Oh great, now you're beginning to sound like Shockwave."

He peered over to see the way Knock Out would respond physically, but there wasn't any reaction at all, just, Knock Out.

It grated him, an annoyed grunt escaping him as he slouched on the side of the bed, kliks away from wanting to get up and avoid talking to the odd medic.

"What are you afraid of?"

_ That's it,  _ he thought as he stood up abruptly from the berth, giving an angry glare to the other. Knock Out flinched just slightly, he could tell. Optics gleaming, he wasn't sure why it upset him so much, but he was ready to defend himself.

"Stop acting so intellectual just to make yourself feel better around me! I am not afraid of anything!"

Knock Out was a bit in awe of the loudness, but it was quickly dissolved into a sad expression. He just lied, and it was obvious. Still, his wings hiked and servos clenched, trying to goad him into a stare-down, anything to prove he was better, and anything to save his pride.

But the medic did not take it for a challenge, wheels dipping against his back and face stern. Then, the smile came back. It was small, and no longer arrogant. Comforting, reassuring, soft like the mech's over-polished skin. It left him reeling.

"You don't have to be afraid to admit you are worried about him." It was as if Knock Out interpreted Starscream's words completely differently, into what they were supposed to mean. He hated how he was being figured out, weakness popping up in his eyes as his brows raised momentarily. 

A part of him wanted to walk over to the mech and hit him, scratch his finish and make it hurt. His spark constricted painfully at the thought, shaking his helm indecisively. Damn grounder. He sighed again, reigniting in hopes to win, something.

"I'm not worried about him, I'm sure he's fine, Shockwave is strong and capable." He couldn't remember the last time he complimented one of his subordinates, it made him feel intimate and caring, he didn't like it.

"..but you do want to find him, just to be sure?"

_ Frag.  _ He was absolutely right. Putting a servo over one of his optics, he paced around the room, feeling Knock Out's ever permeating gaze. It brought forth,  _ frag,  _ worry, and  _ damn him,  _ fear. Eventually, he stopped, standing over a tool-table without really examining the contents.

"...why are you saying this to me?"

"You want to leave." Silence thereafter, thinking intently at those short words. He realized he was the one who lied, and decided it was enough.

Vent in, then out. And things became a little easier.

"...I, I just abandoned him without any warning. I have to find him, I need to know."

The gentle thrumming of the ship's interiors swayed the silence into a deep solemnity. Or perhaps it was so quiet that the only sound was their own systems, making his words even louder as they echoed in his mind, over and over. He could not believe he just said that, even if it was to Knock Out.

Said mech, somehow looked more sad after he spoke. He did not understand the reaction, Knock Out did not like looking sad whenever he tried, besides garnering pity. This wasn't one of those moments, and still he  _ didn't understand. _

No answer, besides the mech getting up off his stool, hands propping himself against his knees. Watching and wondering, Knock Out walked past Starscream and over to the door to the medbay. The warmth from the near touch was instantly evaporated as he saw the physician prod at the keypad, poking in a code and letting the door slide open.

He wasn't seriously- but it did happen, the door was open as Knock Out's posture failed, looking into Starscream's eyes with a sorrowful little smile.

"...Knock Out."

It's all he could think of saying. Despite switching alliances, was allowing him to escape free of charge.

They simply exchanged those stares, him being unsure of Knock Out's brave facade and honest earnestness. He had the desire to hit him again, to tell him how stupid of a decision he was making at the moment. That thought as well, made him sad like the other, what was wrong with him?

He strutted carefully over to his medic, a deep instinct making him wary that this might be a trick. Knock Out tilted his head as they were now parallel to each other, heights feeling more distinctive and bold. His wings twitched, drooping ever so slightly.

"I do not understand…"

Knock Out's optics pinched in a strange sort of happiness, amused by his naivety.

"What more is there to say? You are free to go."

In contrast, his brows folded oddly, disappointment following with his dismay. Tiredness overtook him again, another confusion to add to his pile of confusions. It hurt, but not in the stinging way. It made him feel things he did not want to feel. He tried to free himself from those negative connotations by indulging in one of Knock Out's own tactics.

"Your Autobots won't be happy to hear you helped me escape."

The medic shrugged, doing something not quite bizarre and taking Starscream's hand, soft to not disturb. He wasn't sure if it was to reassure he or himself. 

"Maybe, but you can always stop by and free me later if it comes to that."

Now for the first time, he smiled back, accepting the servo under his fingertips eagerly. Knock Out furthered his quest by shoving him forward and forcing him into a hug. He wanted to protest, but that need slowly dissipated, allowing his medic to indulge in this specific comfort.

They stood there like that for a good while, Knock Out's head resting in his shoulder and arms curved around his lanky body, while he too awkwardly placed his own on the mech's red glossy metal. It turned out to be a Decepticon trick, as Knock Out pulled him down by placing servos on his shoulders, kissing his cheek before he could even react to the movement.

Starscream groaned and Knock Out laughed obnoxiously loud, letting him back away from the embrace. Of course he would do something like that, the least enjoyable part being how flushed he now felt. The medic beat him to the response, him sighing and readjusting his mood.

"..please don't get yourself killed out there."

It sounded too caring, he rolled his optics all while knowing that Knock Out was genuine, hiding the warm feelings his concern brought out of him. 

"I won't be killed that easily."

"Yeah? I'm the reason you think you're immortal, dumbaft!"

He grinned, pursing his lips together and not ready to say goodbye. It felt too unnecessary, he knew they were going to meet again, one day. He walked to the doorframe, peering out to the long stretch of hallway while still feeling that looming presence.

It came at him so quickly, the thought waiting to communicate its ideas to him, all while knowing that Knock Out was still watching, and waiting for him to leave.

In a sudden moment, he remembered something Ratchet had told him.

"Thank you, Knock Out."

With that, he ran down the halls of the Nemesis, Knock Out still standing by that door, hoping he would come back.


	24. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! My new year's resolution? WRITE BETTER! also try to make more frequent updates (oh yeah)  
> Thank y'all for sticking around and here's the latest chapter. (Do not fear, tank man will return after these messages)

"What did he mean by that?"

Promptly, after exiting the room and hearing the door seal shut, Ratchet could not contain his curiosity.

Optimus was in a deeper contemplation, brows furrowed and optics staring at wherever his mind was at. Soundwave's cryptic message was the last thing he was willing to say, even going as far to power down during their questionings. His leader made no attempt at force, they knew what they came for, and got another mystery in turn.

_ 'Megatron lives.' What did he mean by that?  _ Despite that repeating phrase going about his processor in never-ending loops, the world was quiet, and they began walking back. Soundwave would need rations, and maybe repair the crack flowering on his mask, an incentive like that might make him more willing to talk. 

"...do you believe he was bluffing?" Ratchet finally asked again, footsteps echoing in the dark hallways, they would really need to light the place up eventually. Optimus hums, the matrix of his adding to the reverberation. Even with their past together, Ratchet didn't believe Optimus had the entire psychological profile of their prisoner, enough to comfortably assume.

"It could be possible." Spoke the Prime, looking down to his medic. "However I do not feel he has a reason to lie, if only to distract us from something else more important." It made a bit of sense, even if the connotations were less than favourable. 

"If he is trying to move our interest away from him, what would he be able to do? I know he's smart and all, but I don't think anyone would ever be able to escape those restraints." Ratchet was indifferent now to the intense alloy they had to use. Remarkably, any sort of lock based trap and Soundwave could probably break through. A brute force restraint however, there isn't much problem solving that can get away from that.

"I believe he is aware of that. In our ignorance he may make another attempt to control or manipulate us." Said Optimus, making him grimace in turn. "Bah, that room is one of the most highly isolated in and contained sectors of the Nemesis. Even he cannot communicate outside of it.”

"Do not be so sure…" replied the Prime. "His presence and command of this vessel is still entirely unknown. He may have complete autonomy over multiple functions of the ship as of now. However, he has not made any attempts or force otherwise, leaving me to be curious of his intentions." Ratchet was glad they agreed on that.

"Maybe he has no intentions at all, perhaps he was telling the truth." He did not believe it even as it came out of his own intake. Commanding Starscream, farfetched but still within reality. But Megatron being not offline? Any medic would dream of the day they could save the life of someone who was stabbed in the spark, but it is incomprehensible and  _ impossible. _ It is something that will be impossible  _ forever,  _ no matter how hard you wish it would be.

"Soundwave is not a liar, that much I know, unlike his Decepticon others. Despite how improbable what he told us is, I think we must be on high alert regardless." Spoke Optimus with an almost nervous caution. Soundwave's presence would have garnered high alert anyways, even without the riddling. 

"A warning perhaps?" Implored Ratchet, trying to gain a better understanding of Prime's thinking.

"Of a sort. He was known to fortelling certain events in the past, whether out of luck or not. As well as how close him and Megatron's relationship was, it is not unlikely he would be the first to feel him offline, and to feel his revival." Ratchet's brows perched forward in an attempt to collect what had been said, only to widen a few kliks after.

"You don't think they've-" Optimus answered before the question was finished. "It is entirely possible they are bonded, to whatever extent. Any level of bondage and surely Soundwave would experience some sort of closure after Megatron's death."

His lips fell to a frown, he hadn't considered the possibility. Usually the act was reserved for lovers or the bestest of friends, the idea of friendship between the fiercest Decepticon around and the group's creator was so foreign, but it was one of the more well documented parts of the war's history (per Orion Pax, a historian at spark mixed in with a romance novelist. It left for some dis/tasteful representations of many historical figures of Cybertron). 

If it were true, it might've been a play by Megatron, to keep his top lieutenant in check by having literal access to his emotions and, if gone far enough, his thoughts. But, that did not make much sense either. To have Soundwave's loyalty but not Starscream's, despite one of them obviously needing more discipline than the other. Starscream never mentioned any sort of tactics done by his leader, he would have by now with that mouth of his. 

"Whatever we speculate-" Ratchet snapped out of his thoughts to peer back at Optimus, who looked lost as well. "-this situation leaves me with unease, and I feel a great responsibility for a resolution." 

He could tell Optimus wanted to continue on whatever would follow up that last phrase, however they had already made it to the medbay door.

They stood for a moment, Ratchet emptily forgetting he was supposed to open the door for them. He blinked, a swift shake of the helm only to stare back up at Optimus, who was idly looking at the closed frame, as if not paying attention to the cue. "You know, you don't have to escort me to the medbay. If you want to talk you can always ask."

Oh, he hadn't intended for it to sound so unprofessional. Optimus peered down and gave him a knowing grin, causing his faceplates to heat up slightly. The smile shifted back to a more stern and calm gaze, sighing deep enough that the air around him shivered.

"Actually, I had something I wanted to discuss with you. I hope I have not come at an odd time." Ratchet smiled at that, getting ready to signal the door's opening. "It's alright, just an annoying seeker to deal with. You can stay if you're up to having your audio receptors blasted."  _ Not to mention Knock Out's rat habit of sorting my tools different than they are supposed to be…  _

The metal panel slid by, and they were greeted with the sight of, Knock Out. He was leaning against the central medical berth, head dipped down marginally and servos folded into one another.

He looked akin to a child that had just done something worthy of getting into trouble. It was a mild distraction as well as instigator to him thinking of a newer development. Ratchet's optics swarmed the rest of the room, spotless and lonely, like it had always been, before a certain Decepticon had been willowed away between its walls.

"Knock Out." Spoke Ratchet, voice gaining an edge as Optimus walked inside to join him. Knock Out's eyes continued looking at him, unmoving and guilty, digits fumbling together in an almost anxious way. "Where is Starscream?"

It was silent for a while, Ratchet could notice the medic's mouth tug, bending its shape in that same anxiety. Optimus looked at him for the most part, observing Ratchet's reactions as the truth was revealed.

"I let him go." Said Knock Out.

Ratchet's face widened in disbelief, only to shift into anger. Knock Out continued his guilt ridden look, but confidence was layered within his disdain, in a near defiance. He slowly walked towards the other, optics scrunching and field wild with many different emotions. 

"I'm sorry?" He spoke with dubiety, observing Knock Out carefully. He seemed to be forcing himself to stuff his pride down, sticking up for his actions in a presentable way.

"I let him go." He repeated. It left him floored, speechless for kliks following.

"You, you just let him go?!" Half-shouted Ratchet, doubt and frustration filling his circuits, noticing Knock Out flinch slightly at his words.

"Yes." All he could do was stare back aimlessly, an expression of utter incredulity covering full force. Stubborn quiet mixed in with the boiling emotions that made the room hotter, only getting worse as the pauses in between words extended. Ratchet didn't understand.

"Why, in the name of Primus-" he closed his eyes briefly, "-would you let Starscream go?!"

Knock Out's small frown was most apparent now, the hypothetical beads of sweat rolling down his painted body. His breathes were laboured, gradual but wavering. Servos tightening on one another, his brows did not furrow in anger like the medic berating him. They stayed solemn, and quite honestly, depressed.

He finally broke their gaze, red optics looking away with a turn of the head, given up on the mental battle. "He had business to attend to, his time was being wasted here."

Ratchet had all the reason to yell at the former-Decepticon (if at all) but held it down. Instead, he was left baffled and drought. "Business?" He asked, trying to sound more angry but it came out as a more genuine question. Knock Out pursed his lips together, still looking away. "More than you know."

He came close to growling before hearing the reverb of Optimus's footsteps, near forgetting he had been there in the first place. Startled briefly, he stopped just to watch as Optimus walked past him and up towards Knock Out. It was unspoken, but deep within the fields, he could feel it resonating with the other medic, the slightest bit of fear.

Optimus observed, towering over them both, but Knock Out especially. The fear was second to the impossibly shy look that was on his white glossy faceplates. Ratchet too was a little nervous, unsure of anyone's intentions.

"What is the real reason you set him free?" The wording made Starscream sound like a bird, befitting in some ways. Constant need to fly, incessant voice in sing-song that played every waking minute of living. Knock Out now stared up, gaining confidence again in the face of someone as both frightening and comforting as the Prime.

His hesitancy did not go unnoticed, but Optimus's patience seemed to ease him somewhat, ready to speak once more.

"He was guilty, of leaving Shockwave behind. It's not certain whether or not he's still even online." He smiled somewhat while talking, probably amusing himself in the memory of learning such pivotal information. "You should've seen his face, he was so embarrassed just from me mentioning him." 

A humourless laugh followed, somehow, it made Ratchet less on edge. Knock Out cleared his windpipe, taking the silence as a given to keep it up. "Don't get me wrong, I didn't want him to go either, I was worried he'd hurt himself again, or _ get _ hurt by someone else. But I realized, there wasn't any point in him staying, besides just being a grumpy prisoner, or to help me feel less lonely." 

I think it was for the better to let him leave. He poses no threat, not yet at least. As well as something we forgot to tell him-" Knock Out's face ceased its solemnity and twisted into a more devilish smirk. "-his spark monitor doubles as a gps, correct?"

Ratchet took a moment through the awe of his spiel, the realization hitting him harder than the worst of hangovers.

"Knock Out, you idiotic genius." Said mech bashfully rubbed his fins, the attention from both him and Optimus probably getting to him. The gps had been reactivated, Starscream was never alerted of that function. Not only would it tell them of Starscream's whereabouts, but Shockwave's as well.

"What can I say? I'm a professional, standards and everything." The unforgettable damp mood had left in favour of something more hopeful. Optimus too, despite his unbelievable sterness, was in on the idea as well. "I take it you want us to leave him alone for the time being?"

Knock Out nodded gently. "Of course, I only meant to use the device as of means to check up on them. Call me biased, but I think we should wait to deal with them once they actually begin to cause trouble." A moment later, he sighed and added-

"-as well as the fact that I don't want to hurt either of them. I think I'm going to hang up my go-to violence towel for now, I want to solve all of my problems civilly." Both Ratchet and Optimus were left surprised by the sentiment, sharing a glance as the other leaned harder against the medical berth, a bit more comfortable in their presence.

"That is very noble of you." Said Prime, making Knock Out audibly cough and grasp his hand over his helm in a seemingly "random" way. "I, ehh, well, I'm special, or something. I've always been noble what are you saying haha, ehe!"

Ratchet had to roll his optics, the mech loved his looks but the moment he received a compliment everything broke down. Still, besides the irritation of all his hard work leaving the Nemesis to most likely go and get broken again pushed on him like a cold.

But besides that, an immense relief filled him.  _ Finally, I'm off work!  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This chapter was a bit longer than usual, and I'm gonna try to keep it that way


	25. Dragon Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever cried writing a story before? im probably just a wuss but take that as your warning, and I apologize that this one's shorter, the next one will be a lot more plot heavy

He had planned to fly for most of the journey, something ticked within him, speaking that he was not entirely ready to do so. He had not transformed once in his stay aboard the Nemesis, but in his mind nothing mattered more, ignoring his body's prolonging warnings. In the adrenaline rush of getting the slag out of there, the transformation shock had got to him.

He  _ did  _ fly out of the vessel, taking a larger but necessary risk in going back to the Energon storage and stealing the aforementioned synthen cube, slightly humoured at the idea that everything could happen all over again. Escaping was unbelievably easy, but at the time it was one of the hardest things he experienced since his injury. 

_ Transformation shock,  _ he wasn't aware of it's medically accurate term. That same phrase applied to many different symptoms, but it was most commonly in reference to changing shape after a long period without doing so, and having casualties due to it. He jumped out of an emergency hatch and quick-second made the decision to transform or plummet to the ground in a spectacular frenzy, most likely landing him right back in the medbay. It hurt like  _ pit,  _ but his mindset prevented him from fully recognizing the pain signals.

Rarely did he think in those few moments, sometimes wandering to irony or fear, Knock Out's sad expression bombarded him only to leave thereafter. He couldn't feel properly, funneled vision towards his goal.

It took a few kliks of panic flying to realize his speeds were not as efficient as he'd hoped, going down to the dust ridden surface to park, far away from Autobot optics. Changing back to bipedal, only then did the most excruciating pain erupt throughout his entire body, feeling like he was engorged in flames.

Starscream walked for the rest of the journey, not hindered by that fact as Shockwave's laboratory was not very far from his landing point. He found himself running occasionally, half-minded autopilot and desperation immerging. Even when he fell from tripping on rusted debris and cried from the agony, he kept on running. As if the Autobots were right on his tail, which they might as well be, not paying close attention to his sonar in the slightest.

Nothing except for the red dot on his mini-map mattered, following it like a moth to a flame in a hypnotic flee, venting uncontrollably. The sound of dusty and scratched metal echoed against nothing within the bland expanse of Cybertron's surface, clicking faster as his heels scraped the edges. 

The sun was blocked by a plum of dust and pollution, the whole world was brown and red under its caste. It went unnoticed, despite the impact it was having on his sanity. Like doomsday was about to come if he were to stop his flee. 

In the distance, he saw it. He could not bring himself to smile, but his immediate relief was increasing by the klik, watching the counter go lower as his destination neared. 

He dropped to his knees, the sharp tips skidding violently against the rusted metal from the velocity of his pace. Coming to a slow and audacious halt, he stared up at the dark cumulus clouds looming overhead, huffing with every vent that still had function. His arms lay at each side, unmoving as he began recalibrating his processor.

Silence for a moment, leaning his head down with a sigh after his spark stopped making attempts to jump out of its container. On the ground was a rectangular crease, his mini-map zoomed in greatly to show he had reached his destination. He exited it's view, seeing what was right in front of him only. A coating of dust covered the panel, showing no one had accessed it in a while, he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. 

He hooked two digits under it, cranking open the hatch as the small panel opened and revealed a keypad. Shockwave had a ridiculously complex password put into the system, knowing that a code-break could easily bypass something lesser. He had it picture memorized, but he could not stop his servos from shaking, constantly messing up the symbols and having to start over, movements completely manic. 

Eventually, with deep breaths and a heavy heart, he punched in the correct code. The hydraulics on the flat plain of metal right next to him hissed, feeling the ground vibrate as the mechanisms worked underneath him.

The ground rumbled gently, until the surface cracked and split into two panels, opening up and leaving a large square incision. Starscream always thought the elevator to science hell (as he put it personally) was a tad unnecessary, but Shockwave explained that the entrance needed to be large in order to accommodate the giant pieces of "equipment" he would need to transport in and out. 

An elevator was an irritating and long way to enter the facility, but it was a secure and logical one (as Shockwave put it personally). He sighed and got up off the dirty floor, pushing himself from his knees and shakily walking on to the indented platform, beginning its descent once it felt his weight.

He would admit, he never liked this elevator in particular. It's large size was overbearing on his minisculity, standing in the center and grasping at himself anxiously. The lack of floor lights gave the illusion that he was not actually going down, wondering when it would pause and jolt his metal skeleton out of its armour. It was the most uncomfortable of emotions at how lonely this single compartment made him feel.

That moment came, flinching as the elevator line came to a halt suddenly, the door opening smoothly in succession. It took a while before he took his first step out, standing still as a jagged stone while looking at the hollow and dark expanse of the laboratory.

His spark wouldn't slow at all despite his silent wishes, for just the horrible mixture of apprehension, fear, exhaustion, and relief he experienced. It was the only sound in the dim room, echoing in his mind if only to remind him of how lonely it was. But it didn't have to be, he felt relief for a reason.

"Shockwave!" His voice was screeching in comparison to the dead atmosphere of the laboratory, it made him wilt in anticipation, something had to have happened. 

No response. Nothing at all, not even the humming of machinery or whining of Cybertron's plates in perpetual motion. 

"Shockwave…?" Nothing again. Starscream panicked. He switched on the central lights, no longer relying solely on his night vision to see. It was the same as it had always been. He emptily walked by Shockwave's work table, there were a few tools lying around a small square contraption, it looked like his work. He peered to the crates, they were even in the same order he remembered them to be in. 

He went into the storage room. Some of the lids had been propped open, though none of the equipment was disturbed. The metal crates no longer had any Energon.

He walked to the console area, the monitors were blank now that he switched main power on. They were not in use, like they hadn't been before. The incubators. He hastily went to the incubators, breath catching in his vents in sporadic wheezes. There were only two of them, Shockwave had fixed one just for him if the situations were dire enough.

They were both closed. He pressed his servos and faceplates against the glass of one of the lifeless containers, hopelessly wondering if someone could be in there. The glass was room temperature, he went to the other, and still there was nothing. No one was here but him.

"Where are you Shockwave?" It came off more stricken than anything, going back into the central facility and pacing listlessly. He found himself looking all around the laboratory, even in places the prodigious tank could never fit himself. He looked everywhere, it went on like that for kliks without him even fully realizing what he was doing. "Where did you go?!"

His vents went hyperactive again, standing in the middle of the room while clasping a shaky servo over his mouth. Wings hiked as high as the joints would allow, his optics fixated on a particular nothing on the metal floor. Spark constricting and pushing against its chamber over and over, more twinges of pain in his chassis that could have had correlation to the strife encompassing his processor.

He wanted to think, to rationalize what was happening and calm his circuits. But no amount of deep thought or relaxation could come to him, nothing but pure panic in its truest form.

A single idea came by, an assistance into his quest for stability. He sat himself down against the wall, wings aching as he pushed them harshly and without care. Hands even more furious than before, taking one and tapping at his communicator. There was only one contact left after everything fell through.

"Shockwave, please respond." He was able to make his first saying more sane, pressing his thighs against his chest as one arm wrapped and held his legs in that position, trying to stop himself from shaking any more. Static filled his audio receptors.

"Shockwave, please, please respond to me. Where are you?!" Breath creaked and just about as staticy as the received message in return. He began rocking himself subconsciously, Energon cold despite the intense current his spark brought, making his hydraulics weaker and more susceptible.

  
  
  
  


"Shockwave. Please."

  
  
  
  


"Where are you Shockwave!?"

  
  
  
  


"Shockwave, I demand to know your location!"

  
  
  
  


"Shockwave, Shockwave, I am your commanding officer so tell me!"

  
  
  
  


"Please Shockwave, stop ignoring me, please!"

  
  
  
  


"I'm so alone Shockwave, please don't ignore me."

  
  
  
  


"Shockwave, don't leave me alone. Please come back."

  
  
  
  


"I'm so alone Shockwave. Please stop ignoring me…"

  
  
  
  


Tears fell off his face even before he had given up on the communicator, finally stopping after not wanting the other end to hear his sobs. His voice shrilled the silent laboratory with violence, agony coated in every cry as it reverberated back to him.

Nothing could compare to the terror of knowing. He was the one who left Shockwave, with nothing as warning, and now he was gone. 

"H-help me Shockwave… I'm so scared…" he weakly grasped at his helm to hide his cries to people who were not even there, because he was all alone. Stopping the shrieks erupting from his intake was beyond him, scared of himself for allowing his emotions to go so far. He left them all, he left them all behind. All his Decepticons were gone, and now he was alone.

"I-I'm s-sorry Shockw-wave-" his voice fizzled in and out of function, full of sobs he could not hold back. Not just Shockwave, but them all. He left them all behind, and now he was alone.

All he could comprehend doing at that very moment was curling up against the metal wall of the silent laboratory, letting his voice fill the emptiness.

  
  
  



	26. Dragon Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very exciting to write, I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> And its much longer, I apologize for grammar since I usually only proofread once before uploading and its always super late at night

A loud  _ bang!  _ settled overhead, causing Starscream's spark to hilt in his throat, scrambling off the ground and pressing up against the wall with an almost emotionless expression.

He wasn't sure how long he'd laid there, feeling as though dust could be collecting on his frame while his anguish took hold. The tears stopped, thank the Allspark, however in an annoying fashion his chassis hiccuped on occasion, mimicking sadness in a half-hearted way, shaking to disturb the pretend dust off his wings. It was a dreamlike state.

Thoughts ceased to protrude him, only raw emotion and a familiar emptiness gave him his suspicion. He was not unused to loneliness, but nothing like this! Several stabs into his abdomen would be enough to replicate the theoretical pain he considered, perhaps a bit over dramatic for anyone else, but befitting for him.

However, that loneliness was soon replaced with fear in its fullest after hearing that sound. The only sound not made by himself that he had heard since entering Shockwave's facility. It roared in his entire body despite being so eloquently brief, making his audials peak grotesquely at every sparkbeat. Finally, rationality slowly came back, he didn't know what he would do if it couldn't.

_ What was that?  _ The most simplest of questions. Another loud  _ bang! _ was heard above, keening down in a flinch while trying to decipher how high up it was resounding. 

He proposed in a processor debate that it was on the surface, eliminating that it was simply an axis tilt or plating shift of Cybertron's many layers. He oh so wished it were the others, whatever made those sounds were  _ big.  _

There were a few smaller thuds following, almost like footsteps, and there were a lot of them. It defeated every sense of logic that he held with him, cycling through different scenarios at a lightning rate.

_ Autobots, it might be the Autobots!  _ The loud noises could have been ships landing with the following mechs departing, or in a funny mental projection was actually just Optimus falling after a jetpack mishap. Either way, the lack of information primed him to choose the word alternatives of whatever is up there.

Or, perhaps he is over-exaggerating. It might actually just be Cybertron pulling tricks on him, or his own mind playing tricks on him. He curled his head back into his legs, hands over his helm in deep worry. 

_ Maybe it is storming outside.  _ A more positive answer, it was one he liked the most. Storms were rare and violent, on the small occasion they did happen every mech in sight best take cover, in order not to get the acid beat down of their life. He would not be surprised if their occurrence spiked after what was left of their planet, it almost made him want to go up and see. Maybe bring out a weather kite like he and Skyfire used to-

A few more rumbles reverberated above  _ someone's up there someone's up there _ , Starscream tried convincing himself that he was hallucinating, or maybe he was dreaming. Shutting off his optics, he held himself like a dearest lover and pretended he were anywhere but here, memories racing through him while too quick to acknowledge.

He sighed, folding his wings against the wall softly, luckily smooth enough to not give scratches. Letting go of thinking was easier, especially with the close reminder of how much it can hurt still looming in the near past. 

It took time for him to realize the noises had stopped, silence reclaiming once more. Optics formed into slits, he observed the laboratory as if someone else was there along with him. Of course, that wouldn't be possible, but he couldn't block out those improbabilities from his innate paranoia.

He looked up to the ceiling, wondering and pretending he could see what was out there. Noticing his fuel gauge wasn't pleasant, proceeding his worry. It was no better being stuck down here, realising how entrapping this single space was, with only one single exit. It might be better to slink away in one of the stasis incubators and hope that in the distant future, someone could find him down here.

A nauseous fear crawled up and down his spine, like he'd caught a common cold. Just about everything wasn't going his day today.

Promptly, his insides immediately fell to his stomach the moment a mechanical whir chalked into the room.

_ The elevator the elevator someone is in the elevator-  _ no no, that couldn't be possible could it? It was just his imagination?! He hit the side of his helm as hard as his shaky servo would allow, the noise persisted, the gentle rumbling getting louder and louder. 

No, that isn't possible!  _ Someone is in the elevator someone is in the elevator someone is-  _ no one knew that password, no one even knew where to look for this place! His shaking made a persistent comeback, throwing a servo over his mouth once more to stop the impending scream. 

Maybe Shockwave- yes, Shockwave! Shockwave knows the password he knows this place he- he could NOT have made those sounds from earlier  _ someone is in the elevator SOMEONE IS IN THERE!-  _

_ What am I DOING!  _ Starscream held himself at a chokehold seeing that just covering his intake wasn't working.  _ Think idiot THINK!  _ Shockwave could have at least WARNED him he was making a stop to say hello, but every instinct inside of him told that whoever was visiting was not Shockwave.

There was not much to do, what could he do? The elevator was in use, the elevator that is the only exit to this secret underground facility, which will now serve as his grave if whoever or whatever pops out of that door is one of his many enemies.

At least he might die of spark failure before they get the chance to get him, considering the throttle his systems were now running at. The whirring halted, his Energon halted as he made an immediate break to the storage room. There was quite literally nowhere to run, yet the alternative was no better.

The noise of the door sliding open made his armour shiver and scratch together in an obnoxious chatter-chatter, hiding behind a storage crate aimlessly. Not one, but TWO footsteps.  _ Not Shockwave not Shockwave someone is in here with me someone is here with me- _

Harsh breathing not belonging to him ambled in the other main room, himself not doing any favours as he tried his hardest to shut off any unnecessary systems just to quiet down. Prowling,  _ looking for him! Oh Primus I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die- _

No coherent thinking took place, closing and dimming his optics to their lowest setting. 

He bit on his glossa as the footfall sat right in the door frame of the storage room, the only thing between his stranger and himself being a meager crate. Long drags from one of them, another joined.

_ "I hear a spark."  _ Said one of them, voice jagged and stinging, Starscream could not contain his audible whimper.

An unforgiving hand grabbed his wing and he screamed like no other. It dragged him away from the container and into the brighter light of the laboratory. He was too busy fearing for his life to get a good look at his hunter.

"Put me down put me down put me down!!!-" he didn't pay attention to how pathetic it sounded at the time, but no part of his body was under his control anymore. He continued being pulled across the ground before a sweeping punt shoved him into a distant metal wall.

Disoriented, he fell to the floor with a groan. Senses crawling back, he pressed his wings up against the wall as hard as they would allow, finally getting good looks of his aggressors.

They were  _ huge,  _ menacing in stature and frame. Spikes jabbing and elegance mixed with horror seamlessly, biolights blinding him. They just barely fit into the lab, and-  _ were those wings?!! _

_ "Look at him, he's so skinny!"  _ The blue one started forward, his clawed hands stretched outward as if to paw at him, his "friend" gave a chuckle and strutted alongside him.

"G-get back!!!" Said Starscream, aiming up his arms to fire his missiles, only for them to click at his command.  _ What?  _ He gaped at each limb only to realize Ratchet must have disabled them during his Nemesis stay.  _ Damn- damn Autobot medic!  _ Blue grabbed him by the neck, silently thankful it made it harder to scream, all the while grasping at the hand as Blue got a good look at him.

_ "Heh, he's kind of cute, we should keep him."  _ Blue poked his cheek only for Starscream to hiss in retaliation.  _ "You think boss'll let us?"  _ Spoke the other, coming up by his partner to touch at one of his wings. Somehow, the situation was far more intimidating than being attacked, waiting for the moment these beings would eviscerate him.

_ ' What is down there you two? '  _ a staticy voice echoed through one of the big mech's audio ports. Blue held him out in his hand, trying to get a good look while not being gentle in the slightest. Their yellow eyes bled straight into his mind.

_ "There's someone down here alright. He's grey, has red eyes, and these big whompin wings! Not as cool as our's though…" "Yeah, and he's tiny! His legs are long, bet he'd turn into a weird lookin' pred-"  _ Starscream subconsciously wanted to roll his optics if not for the nauseating fear piling up in his mind. These terrifying mechs suddenly became annoying in less than a klik.

_ "Should we maul him? He  _ does  _ look kind of evil…"  _ Said White, teeth sprouting forth into befitting fangs, causing him to yelp as he foe bit him.

_ ' S-Stop! Do not hurt him! I will- you both wait down there. '  _ Said the voice again, it was familiar.  _ No, it couldn't have been, could it?  _ It was, too emotional to be him...

The blue one dropped Starscream to the ground, coughing and rubbing at his neck in response. He glued himself to the ground, thankful to not be held up and desperate to cling to something other than himself.

The elevator sounded against, distant whirring mixed in with the unbearable tugging of his ventilation. The two enormous mechs, standing proud yet refraining from getting closer, surprisingly obedient despite their undesirable attitudes.

_ "Why do you think boss wants this guy? I say we give his wings a makeover!"  _ Chanted Blue, causing White to hit him over the helm.  _ "Nah ah, he'll kill us and turn our beautiful bodies into scraplet chow!"  _ At least one of them had reason. Who-

The door opened, a mech walked out. Starscream's optics bolted wide, he recognized those footsteps.

"Shockwave!" He got up faster than light itself and attached himself to Shockwave's frame in the tightest hug imaginable. For some reason he was crying, that wasn't normal. "I missed you! I'm so sorry I left, I'll never leave you again!!" Oh, he did not mean to say that.

The scientist was still, hand and cannon at each side, almost stunned. It stayed silent like that for a long while, the two strangers watching eagerly at the display. The silence was damning. 

Eventually, a sigh drifted from Shockwave, tilting his head downward to see the seeker smooshing his helm against his glossy chest. "You two, wait for us outside." 

Both the mechs eyed one another, before doing as they were told and grumbling into the large elevator, already starting to hit each other as the doors closed and no voices were left.

Whirring, and then quiet. Starscream never letting go from that position, not even thinking besides the relinquishing relief that was brought forth. There was nothing but quiet, until, unfortunately, Starscream regained his processor.

Mouth clicking, he struggled to find words, backing away from Shockwave as total indifference covered the tank. No happiness at seeing him, no relief that he shared, nothing at all.

"Who, who were those two?" His voice was more stretched than stuttery, the screaming presumably. Shockwave stared down, deep in thought, considering his words before deciding against any sort of formality.

"Predacons." 

What?

"P-Predacons?" He had a hard time grasping that fact at first, before the connections started settling in. 

He could see the resemblance now, their ancient and exotic looks, how similar they were to  _ Predaking.  _ Suddenly, anger started flowing deep in his spark, the only possibilities to ever be made. His face twisted and wings shivered, all his relief being soured in an instant.

"You, I, I TOLD you that project Predacon was permanently disbanded! And when I'm gone you just, just go and make more?!!" The shout echoed in the laboratory, Starscream surprised that Shockwave waited for him to finish his complaint. As if pitiful of him.

"You misunderstand. These Predacons were created before you instigated that rule." Confusion and surprise covered his face, no longer working to make his emotions less applicable. Shockwave graced him with further explanations. "They were made briefly after I had started work on Predaking. He was finished before the others, so I brought him to Darkmount and left them behind. With Megatron's anti-predacon order, I abandoned them. I thought they'd have perished, but somehow managed to break out of their incubation and find several Energon stashes."

He didn't want to process all that information, staring blankly up at the equally blank face of pure stoicism, still feeling utterly betrayed despite it. Pulling himself up into a taller stand, he sighed and prepared himself for the folly that was going to erupt from his intake.

"Okay. That's okay! That's fine. Everything is fine. You're here, I'm here, we're both fine! Everything is A-Okay." Starscream prattled the room as saying so, wandering in circles and exaggerating his hand movements. Coming to a stop up near Shockwave and diving a fingertip on to his black chassis.

"I have, several questions, and I feel like my spark is going to fall out if none of them are answered. So please, lets do them in rapid succession-

"Why did you send those lunatic Predacon's after me!?"

"There is no video evidence in my laboratories. It was safer to send them to investigate the disturbance. I had not anticipated it was you."

"And why did you not answer any of my coms?!!" His voice choked a little after saying that. 

"...it broke."

Ah. Starscream physically grinned with wide open optics,  _ ah ha.  _ He looked up to Shockwave, disbelieving in the fact that the most serious bot in the known universe, had muttered one of the stupidest things he'd ever heard in his life.

"I- I'm sorry?!"

"My communicator is broken."

He wanted to burst into laughter. This is the explanation he is getting, after everything-

"Please. Please tell me how in the name of Primus, you got your communicator BROKEN!?" Surprisingly, Shockwave did have an answer. 

"While going to one of my distant labs, I was attacked by one of the Predacons. My communicator was one of the casualties, and I, saw no reason to fix it…" hesitation dripped off the edges of his sentence, realizing. Starscream gawked, he asked for an explanation, and he got one.

Total defeat filled him, ready to crawl to the floor and burst into tears. This was supposed to be relieving, knowing he was not going to die and he would be safe with Shockwave, unaware that the world had changed without him.  _ Shockwave  _ changed without him.

It was fine, everything was fine. Shockwave came for him, he was safe, he was fine.

Trying to get past the total hurt clouding his vision, he smiled and lifted one side of his chassis and grabbed a mysterious something. Holding it out to Shockwave, the biggest and most tired grin accompanied the single joy.

"Look! Look what I have, we won't have to ration anymore!"  _ Aren't you proud of me? _ He did not say that last part. The glowing green synthen was daring compared to their contrasting red optic(s). Shockwave looking down to his cupped servos, Starscream folding his brows back innocently to the scientist's gaze.

Shockwave was left speechless, simple staring mixed with the darkness that always arrived whenever you were in a room with him. 

"I…" Started the tank, almost sounding worried. Starscream kept smiling, it almost hurting as his faceplates were desperate to revert to his normal frown.  _ Aren't you proud of me Shockwave?  _

"I have already completed the synthen code…" 

His smile fell. The world shattered in an instant.

"What?" His voice was quieter than he anticipated. Shockwave tilted his head, wanting to look away.

"I had a portion of the formula completed, I calculated I would not have enough time to finish it before our reserves depleted… but I had not considered the Predacons, who helped me collect enough Energon to finish my research."

Nothing. No anger, no relief, no happiness. His vision buzzed as he kept looking at Shockwave's half-gaze. His body still as stone, incompatible with his mind.

"...I'm sorry."

That broke him.

"S-So, everything I had gone through-

-everything I had done just to get this cube-

-all of that-

-was for nothing?!!!!"

Starscream had thought more tears would fall, but most of them had already been dried up from before. His claws extended out, back slouched forward and near kneeling to the one he'd just been yelling at. 

Shockwave couldn't reply, not yet at least. Everything went chilly as ice, ready to give up and admit defeat to whatever force controlled his wellbeing.

Yet, after everything, Starscream couldn't find it in him to be more upset. He was too tired for that. Then, Shockwave spoke up, taking notice.

"If it weren't for you leaving, I would have never found our Predacons, or thought to even leave this place. We would have been stuck in those cryo-incubators forever if you hadn't gone."

Silence, the words only made him more emptily distraught. A missing beat.

"...I was worried about you."

His chassis hiccuped in that annoying way, trying to replace the missing coolant that was supposed to gush from his optics. He was just about ready to go to sleep and not have to worry about waking up.

He drooped his forehead on to Shockwave's chest, letting whatever remained of his sobs carry out, not even able to cry correctly today. 

He wasn't even sure why he was crying, too many reasons that trying to combine any sort of them was impossible. Arms limp at each side, wings positioned as low as they could be on their joint.

A hand was felt on his waist, sniffling as he realized it was Shockwave who began rubbing circles into his back. The small comfort only made him want to cry more.

It was like that for an uncounted time, until no more hiccups or waning of vents could be heard. Silence. No longer dreadful in the way it has been before, not the cold lonely laboratory he so wanted to hide away in. He wasn't alone anymore.

Calm, finally. His breathing returned to normal, after the panic he'd been in his whole escapade. No more fear, even in the presence of someone so prevalent and infamous. He wanted it to be like this forever, but it could not be.

"C-Can we go now?" Starscream said in an expected waver, lifting himself from that chassis, slightly horrified as he looked at his reflection in it. He was near disappointed as the servo ceased its comforting, as if a critical piece of him left.

"Of course." Shockwave's stoic voice was refreshing, reminding himself to keep his feelings in check the next time around.

He cleared his windpipe, not quite embarrassed just yet as he was still relishing in the nice sensation he already missed. Whatever questions he had could be saved for later.

They both walked to the elevator cabin, waiting for it to signal down and enter. It wasn't so lonely there this time around. Silence. No longer fearful in the way it had been before. 

He felt the servo return to his back, almost in worry, reassuring him. The whirring of the elevator's motors were quiet, deafened by the comfort flooding his mind. He felt the servo, and closed his eyes.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sometimes even I get tired of torturing him


	27. Dragon Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chill and angst free chapter  
> It's been kind of stressful for me in life. My dog's been going through surgery, and she's been pulling through like a champ but I'm still stressing about it, as well as many other things that take my mind off writing. I needed this Chapter, and I wish I put more fluff in it for you guys but ill save it for later maybe g~g   
> Anyways, enjoy!

"Ugh, I am never flying on a Predacon again…" Announced Starscream, shortly after doubling over and retching up the remaining Energon in his tank.

The ground was a savior when he made a triumphant and hazardous break off Darksteel's back, Skylynx beat down a few kliks prior. Shockwave's massive pedes pounded the ground as he made his way off his temporary steed, patting Skylynx almost affectionately on the muzzle once he met landfall.

_ "Get up." _ Demanded Shockwave, expecting him to grab him by the collar and force his legs to obey, but all the Cyclops did was watch closely. Wiping his mouth, Starscream shakily escaped the dirty metal Cybertronian surface, stretching his limbs in a mock expression.

The two Predacons headbutt one another, too careful to be play fighting, but still a nerve on Starscream's part, not wanting to get in the crossfire if it ended up so. They arrived in the broken remains of a city, unable to tell based on the architecture, too ragged and war torn to be recognizable. 

Checking his internal map, it was one of the non-capital outskirting cities,  _ Rodion, ey?  _ Shockwave would pick anywhere for his laboratory, unable to comprehend how many there would be in an actual city like Praxus.  _ I wonder if he had any labs in Vos before it- _

He shook his head, following Shockwave who was already deadlocked on walking to his latest location, tailing behind both the rowdy Predacons as their master led the way. 

They went into a foe alleyway, wide enough for vehicles to come through, yet no overarching paths as it all led to a single dead end. The broken buildings on either side of them gave Starscream the dread he had been counting on leaving, his paranoia nearly making him believe that they would topple over conveniently just as they walked underneath. 

Stopping, Starscream peaked to see Shockwave tapping on another keypad, curiously speculating how difficult it would be to find as many of Shockwave's keypads as possible. Darksteel and Skylynx rumbled aimlessly, batting each other with their horns and necks, obviously anxious from the small space they were currently in. For once, he couldn't blame the beasts.

The ground shook slightly, craning his neck to see the ground right beside the dead end open up, silently praying it was not another elevator. And for the first time, Primus heeded his call for help, watching as Shockwave inched down a flight of stairs, signaling the rest follow.

He tiredly went, swaying his movements subconsciously in time with the way one of the Predacon's tails moved, having a hard time telling the two apart. The outside world left once he took his first step down the stairs, flinching as the ground closed behind him, sealing airtight so no other being could ever find this place.

From first glance, there were many observations to make. One, this place was  _ much  _ bigger than the last. Ducking out from under the stairwell, the space of the laboratory was astounding considering the odd placement it was in. Two, this must be the place he sought refuge after his own disappearance, noticing the spliced Predacon incubators off in the distance. Glass was still webbed across the floor.

He took a few kliks of just looking around the area as they all settled, the Predacons bouncing off to a side room with their accompanying racket. Some lights bolted on, not puncturing the darkness by any braggable margine. 

Sighing, he made leeway for the nearest storage container and sat his aft down straight then, resting himself with his head in hand.

Shockwave was busying himself with who knows what, hardly paying attention as he shut his optics down and let his body sag slightly in defeat, tiredness following shortly. Hearing the scientist fumble around with something on one of his desks, he was just about ready to shut off into a deep sleep, ignoring the aches in just about all of his systems.

So much had happened in just one day, processing it all would be enough to send his processor to the scrapyard. It felt much better to simply let it slide and deal with it another time, allowing the throes of recharge to slowly overcome him.

He groaned in annoyance at the sound of the Predacons prancing back into the main area, the sifting of transformation making his audials ping loudly. Thankfully, they seemed to ignore him, favouring to go over to what ever was next on Shockwave's table.

_ "Drink slowly this time."  _ Starscream's wings perked up, onlining his optics and turning his head after hearing Shockwave speak.

Darksteel and Skylynx grumbled  _ whatevers  _ under their breath, eagerly grabbing the large cubes of Energon on the work table. His mouth watered as he watched them, seeing who he assumed to be Skylynx dipping his head back far with his chassis rippling, chugging the turquoise liquid without caution. The other Predacon was a bit more timid, going slower but visibly enjoying his meal by a substantially greater margin.

His frame clenched at the idea of finally getting Energon in his body, while also weary of the strange nature the Synthen might have. At his point, how the Energon was made didn't matter, if it could keep him from the brink of death then it was fine in his mind.

Watching the Predacons get their filling made him more aware of his energy percentage, as well as a strange pang of jealousy.

He closed his optics once more. So what if those beasts got some delicious Energon? Clearly Shockwave cared deeply about them, so why not give them something to eat. Sighing, he crossed his arms over his body as he shivered slightly, acutely conscious at just how frail he felt. How could a mech even feel frail?

Just listening to the Predacons' enjoyment chipped at his will, but his stubborness was built like a brick wall. Flashes of system warnings were prompted and then ignored immediately, letting his body sleep and his functions rest. Hopefully his dramatics did not come back to haunt him.

Before he could boot off, a hand rested on the back of his head and startled him non-visibly.

_ "Open."  _ Said the stoic voice of Shockwave, feeling an edge of glass touch his intake. He couldn't do anything but oblige, letting his mouth fall into a semi-slack.

The servo on his helm tipped gently, pressing the cube down as his optics opened into slits, watching the Synthen swish as Shockwave stood to his side. His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his helm the moment the Energon touched his glossa, instantly shooting his arms up to grab the cube and tip it even further.

It tasted even better than regular Energon, maybe even better than most high-grade. Sweet like candy with a certain delectable flavour that he couldn't identify. The cube emptied quicker than he could drink, holding it in his lap as he felt he would pass out just from that.

_ "Better?"  _ He took a few moments to breath it out before turning to meet Shockwave's one opticed gaze. All he could do was nod, not finding it in him to speak at the moment. 

The scientist waved back to his oversized pets, the Predacons yawning tiredly after the long flight and good energon.

_ "Go recharge now, do not disturb us."  _ They seemed too exhausted to give audible eye rolls, pressing their heads against each other in another play battle as they went off to their little side room. Now, quiet again, besides the laboratory ambience, a bit more boisterous than the last.

Shockwave stared at him, but he didn't meet it, too fixated on his black chassis. He could see his reflection in the surface, dazed but sober enough to tell that he wasn't doing the finest. Slouching forward didn't help his posture either, figurative dark patches under his eyes if that were possible.

He laboured a heavy vent, finally twisting his neck up to look at his fellow Decepticon. He wasn't what to say, going through a series of possible phrases in his vocabulary. No matter, something had to be said.

"Shockwave-"

_ "What is that?"  _ He blinked. Shockwave was pointing at his chassis and neck. Realizing now that he was gesturing to the spark monitors, running his servo over the flat black surface on his chassis absently.

"Oh, I had forgotten those were even there-" Shockwave's servo bolted forward unexpectedly, grabbing the particular monitor on his neck and ripping it off so fast he had trouble comprehending it.

"-YOW! What was that for?!" Starscream screamed, rubbing his neck after the force applied from it, hoping his artery didn't tear.

His optics widened greatly after Shockwave threw the monitor a short distance away, teeth clenching as the cannon of his arm hissed and bolted, a booming flash of light filling the room. He'd shuttered his eyes and held himself viciously as the gun went off, the noise permeating for ages as smoke rose from the cannon.

Finally looking forth, a big black spot was all that remained of the spark monitor, staining the grey floor with charred metal.

"...err, why did you-" Shockwave graced him with an explanation thereafter, shaking his gun to cool it off.

_ "I'm familiar with Professor Ratchet's technology. He always plants tracking devices on all his spark monitors." _

"-T-Tracking devices?!" He yelped, realization dawning on him. "Will we have to relocate again?!"

_ "Improbable."  _ He sighed, slumping back down to the container while his servos twitched anxiously.  _ "Ratchet's tracking devices do not give out continuous streams of information, only sending out pulses in a sporadic pattern in order to avoid detection if necessary." _

"Well, that's a relief." Said Starscream, ready to fall asleep then and there, yet too energetic from the scare to fully commit. "You only destroyed one of the monitors though…"

_ "I am aware. Ratchet keeps the tracker in the smaller of the two he puts on a patient, from what I recall." _

"Yes, but, would it not be safer to destroy both of them, just in case?" He said, not quite thinking of what that entailed for him. Shockwave only had to think on it for a few seconds before giving his verdict.

_ "You are correct."  _ Was all the warning he got before Shockwave's servo shot at him aggressively.

"H-hey come on you don't gotta do this maybe I was wrong or-YOUCH THAT HURTS!"

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


They both walked to the recharging docks, Starscream just about tuckered out after everything proceeding them. The Predacons were sprawled on the floor, chests heaving in deep breathes as they curled up on one another.

Bless the Allspark Shockwave had some decent docks in this lab, it had been a long time since he got to properly use one rather than just lay on a berth and hope for the best. He watched tiredly as Shockwave tinkered with one of them for his use, rubbing his vents while anticipating his next and probably greatest sleep yet.

Though, a question had been nagging him, the last thing to bother him before his inevitable recharge.

"Shockwave." He announced. The mech did not turn to meet him, but he knew he was listening.

"You called Ratchet a Professor. Why?"

Shockwave seemed awfully quiet, finally booting up the dock with a dull hum, getting up out of his kneel to talk.

_ "He was a colleague of mine, we were both studying tutoring at the time."  _ Starscream's brow raised.

"What did you teach?"

Shockwave stood himself inside his charging dock, flicking the switches to allow for his rest.

_ "That is classified." _

He would have pressed for more, but he felt the urge to not disturb the Scientist while he got his sleep in. He had a feeling he didn't get as much recharge time in as he did.

Yawning, he carefully stepped past the snoring Predacons, making his way to the newly reactivated dock. Plugging in with a satisfying click, he looked over to his left to see the Cyclops already deep out of it for the day. The sight was strangely pleasant, most likely due to the fact that a sleeping Shockwave was one that wouldn't forcibly rip spark monitors off your chest.

Taking a deep vent in, he finally allowed himself to relax somewhat, falling into a deep and well-needed sleep, silently hoping those Predacons wouldn't eat him before he woke up.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yea happy Valentine's day even though I'm a day late!


End file.
